


White Knight

by Prubun (Squeakster)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Angst, Awkwardness, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Fighting, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Kissing, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Oral Sex, Romance, Sexual Content, Sexual Themes, Strangers to Lovers, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-11-01 06:10:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 80,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10915929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squeakster/pseuds/Prubun
Summary: In the city of Wayland, rumors of a plot to kill Prince Ivan of the Braginsky family have been circulating, and a knight known as the Ghost of Bellmore is ordered to prevent that from happening. {Repost}





	1. Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted: July 11, 2014

"All right, go in," Gilbert said and stepped to the side. The farmer—who lived just outside the city and was here to complain about some recent theft—gave a bow to the knight and scurried through the large doors. Gilbert let out a long, exhausted sigh. He wasn't tired. Or, maybe he was. He tried to stand proudly beside the large doors, acting like the job of searching and sending civilians in wasn't tedious and annoying. The doors led to the main hall where his king, King Rosenthal of Bellmore, sat on his throne and was meeting with the townsfolk about their issues. It was all very bothersome and if he was being honest, he'd rather not guard this sort of event. He had to see the civilians first, make sure they didn't have any weapons, and then send them in. It was a waste of his skill to place him at such a boring post. He'd much rather be out in the town, catching petty thieves and keeping the peace, but because of his unusual complexion, staying in the sun for hours was impossible unless he stayed covered, or wanted to be in pain.

He leaned his back against the carved stone wall, sighing to himself and wishing he were elsewhere. He wondered where his little brother was at this time of day. Like Gilbert, he was also a knight, and seemed to be the favorite of not just their king. Ludwig was like a diamond in the rough, and it irritated Gilbert that his younger brother was praised more than he, especially since Gilbert had taught Ludwig everything he knew. From basic survival skills like how to start a fire, to how to wield a sword and fend for himself. Since their parents disappeared shortly after Ludwig was born, Gilbert was also the one who taught Ludwig how to walk and talk. Gilbert was responsible for Ludwig and everything he'd become. However, over the years, Ludwig grew up and he became taller than Gilbert, had a broader build, and more muscle. He seemed to leave Gilbert behind in the dust.

Gilbert felt like he was kept on a leash. Like his position was a joke; being a knight was keeping him close to the other knights so if he acted up, the king would dismiss him immediately. He felt the stares on him wherever he went. They all bothered him. Whether it was someone staring at his beauty or at his strange lack of color. He hated when people stared, they looked right through him, not even seeing him. It was hard to keep his mouth shut when he wanted so badly to lash out at all of them, scream at their judgmental ways, and tell them what _he_  thought of _them_.

He bit his lip and pushed himself off the wall. He had gotten lost in thought again, something he knew he shouldn't do. It always ended up making him angry. The door in front of him suddenly threw open and a man ran in. His clothes were torn and dirty, and he had the look of someone who had been traveling far. The man approached Gilbert, panting heavily.

"Please! I need to see the king!" he shouted urgently.

"The king is busy with another at the moment. You have to wait your turn," Gilbert said in annoyance, raising an eyebrow.

"You don't understand! I have an urgent message from the Braginsky family!" Gilbert's eyes widened. "I'm under orders from King Nikolai Braginsky! Please let me through!"

Gilbert bit his lip and turned his head. "Fine." 'He's going to get me in trouble, but... if it's urgent.' "I have to search you first. Can't have you going in there with a knife or something."

The man agreed to the search and Gilbert patted him down. He concluded that the man had nothing on him aside from a slip of paper addressed to his king.

"All right, go on in." Gilbert lazily pointed his thumb behind himself toward the door. The man bowed and went in.

/

The king was inside on his throne, speaking to a farmer about some thieves trying to steal from his family. He noticed immediately that the man had entered and stood up angrily. Guard's flocked around the man.

"Who are you! Why were you let in!?" the king bellowed.

"King Nikolai Braginsky sent me, your majesty! I have a letter from him meant for your eyes only!"

King Rosenthal sat back down. He glanced to a guard who was looking at him for instruction, and nodded. The guard went to the man and held out his hand.

"The letter," he demanded and the man gave him a slip of paper. The guard eyed it for a moment and then returned to his king with it.

Rosenthal studied the seal. It was a dark purple with the depiction of a wolf's head pressed into it. He quickly undid the seal and read the letter for a few silent minutes. He then looked back to the man.

"This letter doesn't offer much information, just that the prince is asking for one of my White Knights. However, at the end it says that the messenger will give the rest of the details?"

"Yes, your majesty. The king and prince did not want to include the information I have in the letter. You see, I am a spy for the Braginsky family, and I recently caught wind of a plot to kill our beloved prince. It's just a rumor, but there have been strange whispers in Wayland. The king has become a bit paranoid, and the prince has requested one of your elite knights for his protection until this rumor can be laid to rest."

The king leaned back in his chair and thought for a moment. He then sighed. "Very well. I'll send my Ghost to protect your prince," he said and glanced to the blond knight beside him, whose face turned to a worried expression. "Traveler, you may stay the night here for free in the finest inn in my city. My knight will leave tonight and will be in Wayland in the afternoon tomorrow," he said. "On your way out, send the man outside in, he's the strangely pale one, named Gilbert. Now, I'm done with all of you. You're all dismissed."

All of the guards began to move, as well as the blond next to the king. Rosenthal suddenly held out his hand in front of him. "Not you Ludwig. I can tell that there's something bothering you."

"Pardon me, sir, but... are you really going to send my brother?"

The king stood up and began to walk over to a table full of alcohol bottles. Ludwig followed after him. "Why wouldn't I? Your brother is skilled with a sword and bow, knows how to keep quiet—when it's important that is—and he's reliable," he rambled as he poured himself a glass of wine.

Ludwig's face turned even more worried. "But sir, he's... he hasn't been out in such a long time, and Wayland is quite far..."

Rosenthal stopped and turned to face the blond. "Do you not have faith in Gilbert? After all, the boy taught you everything you know." He patted Ludwig's shoulder. "He'll be fine. Don't worry so much."

Ludwig looked down. "I'll try not to, sir."

/

"Excuse me, are you Sir Gilbert?" the man asked.

Gilbert gave him a wary look. "I am."

"The king wants to see you, he asked me to send you in." The man bowed and then left.

Gilbert narrowed his eyes on the other as he walked away, but then turned toward the door. He placed his palm on the pommel of his sword and then entered the throne room. The king was sitting on his throne and had his brother beside him. Ludwig was the king's personal guard and was stuck to him like glue.

Gilbert knelt to the floor and then stood back up. "You called for me, sir?"

"Yes, I have a very important mission for you." Gilbert perked up with excitement.

'A mission!? I haven't been off castle grounds in weeks! This is awesome!'

"It seems that there's a plot to kill Prince Ivan of the Braginsky family in Wayland. You are to go there and protect the prince and do whatever is asked of you," Rosenthal said. "Do you understand?"

"Yes sir. When do I leave?"

"Soon, this evening actually. I want you there as soon as possible."

"Yes sir. I'll pack right away."

"No need, Gilbert. In the letter Prince Ivan sent, he states that the knight I send will be staying for a while, so they'll be well cared for, provided everything from food, clothing, even your own room," he chuckled. "Try not to think you're on vacation, all right?"

Gilbert gave a small laugh. "Yes sir."

"Very good, now go prepare some food for your trip to Wayland. Ludwig," he looked to the blond as Gilbert walked away, "you will escort Gilbert out of the city and present him with his gift I told you about earlier." Ludwig nodded, and Gilbert looked confused.

'A gift?' he wondered excitedly as he headed toward the exit.

/

Gilbert treated himself to a nice bath before he left on his mission. He lowered his body, letting the steaming water rise up over his chest. A loud sigh of contentment escaped him as he leaned back, soaking his head in the water as well. Thoughts began to enter his mind, as well as a lot of questions.

'What is the prince like?' he asked to no one. He didn't even know how old the prince was. He assumed it was some child he just had to watch.

'Why would someone want to kill a child?' He went on to wonder. He couldn't understand why someone would attack an innocent person who'd done nothing wrong.

'Wait no, the prince can't be a child. He wrote the letter to my king himself and requested a knight. No kid would do such a thing. So then... is he my age? I wonder what kind of person he is...' He dunked his head under the water and then came back up.

'I guess we'll just have to wait and see.'

He heard a knock at the door. "Gilbert, it's Ludwig. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, come in," Gilbert said. Ludwig walked in and looked at Gilbert. "What is it? Usually you don't bother me when I'm in the bath."

"I know, but I wanted to talk to you about this mission." Gilbert rolled his eyes and rubbed his hair. "I don't like that you're going so far away—"

"It's like a day away, Ludwig."

"But it's dangerous."

"So is staying here. The last time I went outside I almost got ran over by a horse," Gilbert joked.

"I'm being serious, Gilbert." The cold tone in Ludwig's voice caught Gilbert's attention. "Wayland is a dangerous place. Don't you remember a few years ago when someone killed their queen? Someone clearly doesn't want them in power."

Gilbert grinned playfully. "Are you questioning my skill, Luddy? That's not very nice." He then looked into the water, becoming a bit more serious. "I know it could be dangerous, but I have my orders and I can't just abandon them. Besides, what kind of knight would I be if I couldn't protect one smug little prince?" he chuckled.

Ludwig held his temples. "Fine. Just be careful. You get carried away too easily, and you have to watch your mouth around the prince."

"I'm not stupid Ludwig. I'm not going to backtalk to a prince."

"You did once."

" _Once._  Okay? It never happened again did it?" Gilbert pouted. "He called me a demon so I got angry. Little bastard got off easy."

" _Gilbert,_ " Ludwig groaned his name.

"All right all right, stop lecturing me will ya?" Gilbert griped.

Ludwig sighed, though a small smile appeared on his lips. "Right... I'll meet you later to see you off."

Gilbert watched his brother leave. Though it was infuriating. Did Ludwig really not believe he could protect one guy? Where was the faith he had in him when he was younger?

"Damn brat, he owes me everything..." Gilbert growled lowly to himself. He quickly finished his bath and stood up angrily. He couldn't wait to get away from the castle. It almost felt like a prison where he was allowed to carry a sword and wear armor. Ludwig was the king's personal guard, and while he was proud of his little brother, Gilbert was just another knight, and he often took his irritation out on Ludwig. Even with his nickname "Ghost" he was still looked down on. The other knights had thought he'd become weak, but he'd show them all. He'd complete his mission and protect the prince, and put an end to all of the rumors there. He'd make sure they'd all praise him for his effort, for valiantly protecting the prince. It excited him as he dressed, thinking about the "hero's welcome" he'd get once he returned. The king would throw a feast and reward him with new quarters, maybe even a new set of armor or a special sword forged just for him. He grinned just thinking of having "Ghost" engraved into the guard of his new blade.

/

After finishing his bath, Gilbert made his way down the hall dressed in a plain tunic and trousers, and headed toward the large dining rooms. It was getting late so he figured he'd hurry and grab something to eat and then head out. He still had to pack some food for the trip as well. He pushed open the door and saw his brother stand up from one of the seats. He didn't have any food in front of him and looked as if he had been waiting for someone.

"There you are, Gilbert, I've been waiting for you," the blond said as he went to him.

Gilbert pushed the door shut behind him. "Oh? Why?"

"You're going on a long trip. Rumor says you'll be gone for a month or longer, so before you leave I wanted to have one last dinner with you."

Gilbert's lips stretched across his face in an ecstatic smile. "That's so nice of you, Luddy!" he threw an arm around his brother's shoulder, tightening it around his neck. He almost made the blond lose his balance and fall. "Let's stuff ourselves then! Who knows what I'll have to eat while I'm gone!"

Ludwig had prepared the entire meal, and the chefs and servants delivered food with the snap of a finger. Juicy meat, steaming vegetables, ripe fruit, fresh bread. Even a small cake to split between the two. Gilbert was surprised actually. Even though he and his brother were both knights, they never got to eat such a wonderful looking meal. It was usually just a slice of meat and half a loaf of day-old bread. He didn't think about it too much and dug in. He ripped the meat with his teeth and didn't care about the juices that dripped down his chin. Gilbert ate and ate, but he noticed Ludwig sitting across from him staring at him, a piece of bread in his hand. Gilbert stopped and wiped at his mouth. He then realized that his brother was in a bit of a trance, he wasn't blinking and was in a dead stare at the albino.

"Hey, earth to Ludwig. Come in, you there?" He waved his hand in front of the other's face.

Blue eyes blinked and stung with dryness. "What...?" he asked dazedly.

"You're spaced out. What're you thinking about?"

Ludwig looked down at his plate of food, it had barely been touched. "It's hard to enjoy the last meal with your brother."

"Oh jeez Ludwig," Gilbert groaned loudly. "I'm not _dying!_  I'm just going away for a few weeks to protect some prince who can't protect himself! I'll be perfectly fine, hidden away inside the castle with the royal family. I probably won't even have to draw my blade!"

Ludwig narrowed his eyes questioningly. "What do you mean?"

"These are just rumors, right? The prince is just paranoid and wants a strong, brave knight to protect him." He grinned proudly as he spoke. "He's probably a spoiled child who just wants to burden someone else with protecting him," he said and then shoved a piece of meat in his mouth, and chewed.

"Even if that's true, you can't think that while you're there. I've heard strange things of the Prince of Wayland. They say he likes people who are easily entertained, and well... you laugh at almost everything."

Gilbert paused for a second to wonder how Ludwig knew about the prince. "Well good, maybe making friends with him will help things on our side. Wayland is a good trade route after all," Gilbert said.

"It's not a good interest he takes in these people, Gilbert. I'm worried about you."

Gilbert sighed, and then smiled. "Relax Ludwig. I'll be fine. What's the worst this guy could do? I might have to do some servant-like jobs, but it's nothing I haven't done before. You just worry about protecting our king, all right? Let me worry about myself."

Ludwig let his eyes watch Gilbert for a bit longer. The albino seemed so confident – he always had. To him he was the best around, no one could touch him, though he was rarely recognized for any of his feats, aside from earning the nickname "Ghost," and Gilbert didn't even like that title. Ludwig wondered how his brother could stay so confident when most around him hated him or thought he was strange. That confidence seemed impossible, though Ludwig admired it.

"All right. I'll stop worrying," Ludwig smiled, and it caught Gilbert off guard.

The albino had a piece of bread hanging from his mouth. "Excuse me?" Gilbert mumbled and grabbed the bread with his fingers.

"I said I'll stop worrying. You're, well... you're a grown man, and my older brother at that. I can't keep worrying about you."

'He worries about me...?' Gilbert was distraught for a moment. "Oh... oh, yeah! Don't worry at all! I can handle whatever anyone throws at me!"

For once, Ludwig believed him. Gilbert was capable of taking care of himself, but he couldn't shake this horrible feeling he had. He knew that his king and King Braginsky were on fairly good terms. The two towns did some trading, Bellmore would send fresh produce and Wayland sent furs, but neither Gilbert nor Ludwig had been to Wayland. The royal family there seemed quiet and kept to themselves, which gave everyone free rein to think of their own view of the family. Rumors spread, and their reputation became unfit for that of a noble house. However, it was the prince, Ivan, that Gilbert would be serving directly under. Rumors of the man made Ludwig nervous to send his brother away to him, though that's all they were – rumors, and that's all he hoped they were. Ivan had a habit of choosing his servants and guards based on how they reacted to him. He liked having a certain amount of fear in his underlings, but also liked to make them laugh—or in some cases cry—fairly easily. Ludwig heard stories of a few of his hired helpers, but just the same they were all rumors. Ludwig told himself that he would trust Gilbert to handle anything that may happen. There wasn't anything Ivan could do to him that would break him. As long as Gilbert kept any weakness secret, Ivan couldn't get to him.

/

Gilbert was in his room after the dinner, preparing his armor for his trip. He was going to be traveling for a bit, so he wanted to wear something lighter than steel. Maybe leather. He placed the armor over his torso and had spaulders on his shoulders, tight leather gloves on his hands, with matching cloth and leather vambraces laced up his wrists and forearms. He tightened straps up his sides to keep the cuirass snug against his body and chest. He wore tight black leggings that allowed him to move and bend freely. Gilbert also wrapped a small belt around his waist that had 3 small pouches, which carried ointment to stop bleeding, and bandages, as well as a strap for holding a weapon sheathe. Just as he pulled one of his matching leather boots on, someone knocked on the door. He didn't even get the chance to give the okay to enter before Ludwig came in.

"What're you doing here?" Gilbert asked as he laced the boot up to his knee.

Ludwig looked annoyed. "I'm supposed to escort you outside, remember? Besides, I put this together for you." He tossed a small satchel toward his brother, letting it land to the right of the albino on the bed.

"What's this?" Gilbert picked up the sack and opened the tie. He instantly smelled fresh bread.

"There's bread and fruit in there, some water too. It should be enough for you until you get to Wayland."

Gilbert smiled and then tied the bag shut. "Thanks... I appreciate it." He set it aside and continued to lace up his boot, and then put the other one on.

"So what is this gift that the king talked about?" Gilbert asked.

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you. Hurry up, you're supposed to leave soon."

Gilbert pouted a little but stood up once he finished lacing the other boot. He went to a closet and pulled out a freshly clean white cloak with a hood, then draped it over his shoulders and secured it with the round, silver button on the left of his chest. After attaching a sheathe to his belt and sliding a steel dagger into it, he joined Ludwig by the door with his bag of food.

"All right, I'm ready. Lead the way." Ludwig nodded and beckoned with his hand for the albino to follow him.

/

Many knights were dotting the halls as they walked through. Some looked on with smiles, silently wishing their comrade luck in his mission, other's sneered and thought that Gilbert was unworthy of his task. Gilbert ignored all of them as he usually did, and followed his younger brother until they were outside. The air was a bit chilly, and sweet scents from the castle bakery were drifting on the wind and spreading into town. Ludwig led Gilbert down the main road, both of them attracting the attention of several people, mainly women who wanted to wed one or either of them. Gilbert teasingly gave them a charming grin, not knowing that Ludwig was watching him.

"Why are you smiling at them?" the blond muttered to him.

"Huh?" Gilbert looked at him. "Oh, just giving them what they want." He chuckled.

Ludwig rolled his eyes. "A smile isn't what they want, Gilbert, and you don't like women so why are—"

Gilbert lightly punched Ludwig's arm. "Be quiet about that!" he hissed, "Do you _want_  to get me kicked out of the Knights AND out of the church!?" he questioned in an urgent whisper.

"You'd be happier, wouldn't you?"

"Sure, but I'd also be homeless with no money and probably killed," he said almost sarcastically. "Just don't bring it up again. If that gets out, I'll be one step closer to burning at the stake."

Ludwig remained silent and kept walking.

Soon they reached the main gate of the city and passed through. Ludwig headed to the stables, which confused Gilbert more. He tilted his head and was just about to ask what they were doing there when Ludwig told him to stay. Slightly irritated, Gilbert obeyed and leaned against a wooden pole, crossed his arms, and waited. He heard some footsteps, though there were more than just Ludwig's. Gilbert looked up just in time to see his brother come out of the stable house, pulling a beautiful white horse by black reins.

"What is this...?" Gilbert asked almost in a daze.

"This is your gift." Ludwig brought the horse to his brother. "Her name is Ivory."

"How ironic." Gilbert chuckled and gently pet the horse's side.

"She's also the fastest horse in the king's possession. She's all yours for your trip, and for when you return."

Gilbert smiled and rubbed Ivory's snout. "Thanks, this is great."

"Don't thank me, thank King Rosenthal. He has a lot of faith in you, Gilbert." The albino turned to his brother. "Good luck."

Gilbert rolled his eyes and mounted his horse. "Sounds like YOU need to have some faith in me, Little Luddy!" He laughed when he saw Ludwig's annoyed face. "Don't worry, all right? I've told you before, I'm a big boy, I can handle myself." He made sure everything was ready for him to go, and then looked back to his brother. "I'll write you if I can."

"Don't bother yourself, I doubt you'll have a lot of free time."

Gilbert laughed. "You're right! And besides, I'll come back in a few weeks, victorious! Or I am not the Ghost of Bellmore!" he exclaimed proudly, though didn't fully mean it.

Ludwig gave him a cynical look. "You're loud for a ghost."

Gilbert pouted crookedly, but then smiled. "I'll be back soon, okay, Ludwig?" The blond stared at him for a moment before nodding silently. Gilbert gave a two finger wave from his forehead, gently whipped the reins, and trotted off. Ludwig watched his brother ride away for a bit, hearing the albino give a yell and whip the reins again. Ivory was indeed the fastest horse. Ludwig had never seen her run before, but it looked magnificent. His brother and horse were like a ghost pair, riding through the evening. Both pure white, and too lively for their own good.

/

Gilbert loved the wind on his face. It'd been so long since he'd been outside the city, and even longer since he'd traveled by horse, and by himself. Usually when he went out he always had other Knights with him. "Strength in numbers," they'd always say, but Gilbert thought they just held him back and were keeping tabs on him. This time was different. Gilbert may be under the rule of some prince now, but that would still give him more freedom than his own king did. He'd been thinking about the prince a lot. What he was like, what he liked. Would he accept Gilbert as his knight? Many distrusted Gilbert for several reasons. His loudness, drinking, and occasional flirting for nothing more than fun, made his order look bad, but no one could deny his skill. That's all he was to them, though, a weapon, not a person.

He didn't stop riding until the roads became too dark to see. There were no inns nearby and he was too tired to keep going. He trailed just off the stone road and into a nearby forest, and found a small opening to make camp. He lit a fire using some special stones he brought with him and some sticks. The fire flickered low for a few minutes before reaching a decent size. Gilbert warmed his hands on the flames, bringing his legs to his chest.

'I wonder why someone wants to kill the prince...' he wondered as he gazed into the fire. 'And why send one of us? Don't they have guards for him?' Thinking about it now, he thought it a bit strange. Why now, of all times, to call upon a White Knight for protection, when the prince already has his own guards? White Knights were not sell-swords, they cannot be bought and do not earn any money. The king chooses their missions for them, and they must obey, so for the king to be worried as well. Something must really be wrong.

'Whatever, I'll just ask when I get there,' he thought with a yawn. "Get some sleep, Ivory. We're leaving at dawn." He smiled up at his horse, who gave a soft whinny. Gilbert lay down on the hard ground in a little patch of grass, closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep. He was drifting on the edge of consciousness when he heard some rustling.

'Probably a rabbit,' he thought, 'or maybe Ivory is just moving around.' He didn't think anything more of it.

Ivory then began to shift and dance in place. She whinnied in distress, and the sound alarmed Gilbert. He sat up and looked at her, and recognized the look of fear in the animal's face. He knew that animals could sense danger before it happened. He quickly stood up and wrapped his fingers around the grip of his dagger. When he heard a twig snap in the forest, he turned his body toward the noise. A pair of sharp yellow eyes were staring at him through the dark cover of the trees. The wolf stepped into the light of the moon, snarling at him. Ivory neighed loudly and Gilbert pet her snout to calm her.

"Easy girl, it's okay. I can handle a wolf." Gilbert stepped two steps closer to the wolf, unsheathed his blade, and was ready for the animal to make its move. He heard another snap, and sweat dripped down the side of his face. Pink irises slid to the corner of his eyes, and to his right there was another wolf closing in on him.

'Dammit...' he cursed to himself and shifted his feet along the ground. His eyes darted between the wolves, waiting for one to attack. One finally did and charged at him. The wolf jumped toward him and he ducked, when the wolf was above him, he whipped his blade up, slicing along its belly and coating his dagger with some blood. The wolf lost its footing and tumbled to the ground, whimpering. Its sound enraged the other one, and it attacked instantly. The second wolf was larger than the first, probably the male, and Gilbert danced with it for a few seconds before the wolf managed to connect its paw to his arm. Luckily not his sword arm, and he retaliated by swiftly twirling around the animal, and dug the tip of his dagger deep into its neck. The wolf cried out in pain and whipped its head around before running off through the woods. The other wolf whimpered toward Gilbert and ran limping after the other.

Gilbert sighed and wiped his dagger off with a piece of cloth hanging from his belt. He sat back down by the fire and removed one of his leather gloves. The slash on his arm wasn't too deep but it stung. He took the small canteen of water from the bag Ludwig gave him and poured some of it onto his arm. It made the wound sting more and he hissed in slight pain, watching the watery red liquid run down his arm. He undid the cloth on his belt and cleaned the cut carefully, rubbed some ointment on it, and then tied the cloth tight around his arm. Gilbert put his glove back on, and then looked back into the fire.

"Not even away for a day and I've already been injured." He chuckled and poked the flame with a small twig, which quickly caught fire. He lifted the twig up and watched the tip burn a bright orange, a thin hazy white ribbon of smoke coming off of it.

'I should get some sleep.' He dug the hot tip of the twig into the ground to snuff it out, and leaned against a nearby tree, and used his bag as a rest behind his back. Ivory stepped over to him, standing by his side as if watching over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks for reading!**  
>  If you like this fic, please let me know with a comment! It's what keeps us writers going!  
> Follow me on [**twitter**](https://twitter.com/SqueakiRi) for personal/fanfic updates!  
> 


	2. Master and...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted: July 28, 2014

The morning sun pierced his eyelids and the sound of chirping birds woke him. He yawned and rubbed his eye, and for a moment forgot where he was. He realized that the sun had risen some. It was a few hours after dawn which meant he was even further behind schedule. Gilbert jumped up quickly and grabbed his bag. Quickly he ate some of the bread and fruit inside, and drank the rest of the water in his canteen. He fed some of the food to Ivory as well, made sure the straps were secure, and then mounted her. After settling on his horse he whipped the reins hard and bolted out of the forest.

He rode hard for hours but there was no sight of any city, nor any road signs to tell where he was. The sun was setting but its burning heat was still baking his back. He came up over a hill after a while where there was a tiny building a few dozen feet from the road. There was a sign outside by the road that Gilbert couldn't read until he got closer. It was an inn, which was good. He could restock on some food and let Ivory rest, and ask for directions.

Inside there was nobody, except for a man standing at the counter cleaning a glass who seemed to be in a daze. Gilbert looked around curiously, thinking it odd how deserted the place was.

"Excuse me?" Gilbert called out to the man, who glanced up and then looked like he saw a ghost. Gilbert almost laughed at it.

"Hello, welcome..." the man started and set the glass down. He looked over Gilbert's attire. "You're too well-dressed for this area. Who are you?"

"I'm a White Knight of Bellmore. I'm on a mission, but I think I'm a bit lost."

The man's dark eyes widened. "A White Knight?" he asked in awe. "Wow... well, whatever I can do to help, Sir...?"

"Gilbert. My name is Gilbert Beilschmidt. You are...?"

"Charlie, Sir Gilbert," the man answered.

Gilbert smiled and sat on a stool by the counter. "Well Charlie, I need to get to Wayland, but I've never been there before so I'm not sure where I need to go."

Charlie laughed softly and picked up another glass. "You're heading the wrong way, friend. You're going north. You want to backtrack about an hour, take the other road that leads east. Follow that and eventually you'll get to Wayland."

Gilbert groaned and rubbed his temples. "I can't believe I missed a road. Please tell me there isn't a sign that says 'Wayland' on it there?" He looked at the other with disappointed eyes. Charlie only smiled nervously. "Wonderful." Gilbert let his head fall forward.

"You won't get there until probably mid-morning tomorrow, if you're lucky and don't stop," Charlie said. "You're better off just staying here for the night."

"Sorry, I can't. I can't waste any more time."

"Come on, just one drink. You look parched."

Gilbert contemplated for a moment. "All right. But no alcohol. Just some water, or milk."

Charlie nodded and stepped away from the counter. He went to a large metal jug and poured some cream colored liquid into a cup. "It's honey milk," Charlie said as he pushed the cup in front of Gilbert. The German gave it a sniff and then took a drink.

"It's good!" he exclaimed. "I've never had it before."

"Thanks! I make it myself." Charlie leaned against the counter, and watched as Gilbert drank. "So, Sir Gilbert... what are you going to Wayland for?"

Gilbert looked up at him. He wasn't allowed to tell anyone about his mission. "Trade discussions. My king wants to trade more goods with Wayland, so I've been sent to meet with someone about it."

"I see. Well, be careful out there. You look like you can handle yourself but Wayland is home to a lot of cutthroats and thieves."

Gilbert smiled and drank the last of his milk. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing." He stood up and placed a silver coin on the counter. "Thanks for the drink, but I have to go now."

The two said their goodbyes and Gilbert left.

/

Outside Ivory was waiting for him and neighed happily when she saw him. Gilbert pet her snout, rubbing it gently. "Ready to go? We have a long ride ahead of us." Gilbert tightened the straps on the saddle and climbed up. He gave a weak whip of the reins and trotted out of the enclosed area, turned onto the road, and headed back from where he came.

The sun set and Gilbert was still riding. The light of the moon was all he had to guide him to the road sign. He nearly went right passed it again, but the fancy curved letters read "Wayland" on a wooden sign pointing to the east. He momentarily felt embarrassed for missing the sign during the day, but he figured that the only way to go was up, and down the road. He only hoped that he wouldn't get in trouble for being late.

Gilbert's eyes began to get heavy. How long he had been riding was a question even he didn't know the answer to. Ivory was getting tired as well, and she had more stamina and speed than most horses. The early morning light was beginning to rise over the eastern horizon. Gilbert looked on with heavy eyes, and squinted. In the distance he saw a large city with a huge castle at the back atop a large hill.

'That's it,' he thought to himself. It had to be. Wayland was just an hour or so away. As the city approached, his stomach filled with something he hadn't felt in a long time —  butterflies. He admitted to himself that he was nervous to meet the prince, nervous that he'd be lectured for his tardiness or shunned for his looks. He hoped that the prince would like him even just a little, then he could build a small friendship.

He reached the main and only gate of the city faster then expected. A guard standing in a watchtower called to him.

"Who approaches!? State your name and business!"

Gilbert sat up proudly and cleared his throat. "I am Sir Gilbert Beilschmidt of Bellmore. I'm here under orders of King Rosenthal!"

The guard eyed him curiously, and recognized the white cloak Gilbert was wearing. Another guard to his left elbowed him.

"That's him. The White Knight for Lord Ivan..." he whispered.

"Seems so..." the man mumbled back. "Very well. Open the gate!" he shouted.

The gate lifted up and Gilbert trotted in.

"Sir Gilbert, you are to head straight to the castle on the other end of town. Lord Ivan doesn't like to be kept waiting."

Gilbert cursed to himself but then nodded, smiling as convincingly as he could. "Right, thank you." He whipped his reins and began through the city, leaving the guards watching him curiously. As he rode through the city he could feel the many eyes on him. He figured it only natural. The people were dressed in dark colored furs and leathers, and then there was Gilbert in pure white except for his own leather armor, riding a gorgeous white horse. His cloak fluttered behind him, branding a skinny, silver cross patch stitched onto the middle. He stuck out like a sore thumb, and he heard the whispers, but all he could think was that he better get used to it since he'd be in town for a while, and grin. He hoped to have the entire city's respect by time he was ready to return home. Of course, Gilbert had to impress the prince first.

When he reached the castle gates, more guards stopped him.

"Halt!" one shouted. "State your business!"

"I was sent by King Rosenthal." He pulled out a slip of paper. "I've been sent to guard Prince Ivan."

The guard took the paper. It was written by Gilbert's king and stated that Gilbert was indeed chosen to be Ivan's protector. The two guards looked at each other and gave the albino some skeptical eyes.

"Did the king really send his Ghost?" one whispered to the other.

Another whispered back, "I guess so. This must be serious..."

The two looked back to Gilbert, who was giving them both the most judgmental pair of flat, annoyed eyes he could muster. The guards opened another gate and lowered the drawbridge to the castle.

"Welcome, Sir Gilbert. Please go on in."

Gilbert raised an eyebrow and trotted in front of them. "I may be a ghost but I'm not deaf." The two guards stiffened and sweat a little as Gilbert continued on. The two stood there in shock, and realized that they shouldn't test Gilbert, as he received the name "Ghost" for a reason.

Gilbert made his way down the stone path to the castle. He made it to the courtyard and when guards began to surround him again, he groaned out loud.

' _More_  guards?' he thought.

"You there, state—"

"State my business. I know," Gilbert mocked slightly. "I'm Gilbert Beilschmidt. Sent by King Rosenthal. Here to protect the prince." He listed them off like he was reading from a checklist.

"We've been expecting you, Sir Gilbert. Please, follow me," said one guard and stood in front of him.

Gilbert got down off of his horse, and another guard came up and took the reins. "I'll take your horse to the stables, Sir Gilbert. Please follow my brother inside the castle." Gilbert nodded as he walked away, and then turned toward the other man.

"If you'd follow me?" he said, and began walking toward the castle.

Gilbert followed him inside and instantly noticed a difference between the castle and his own back home. The walls were made of light wood with darker trims around the doors. Red and purple rugs covered the halls, while the heads of many animals dotted the walls. Gilbert felt like an excited child. It was thrilling to be in a place so different from his home, where everything was black or white and made of stone. The Braginsky castle felt cozy. There was a warmth inside, and the smell of something sweet filled Gilbert's nose. However, as excited as Gilbert was, he was also exhausted. He had been riding for too long without rest, and with the sun beating down on him he almost felt sick. His skin was coated with a thin layer of sweat, and under leather too.

"You'll meet with King Nikolai first, and then Lord Ivan. The king wishes to fill you in about your mission himself."

"Forgive me if I'm out of line, but wouldn't the prince be better to do that?"

The guard was quiet. "Yes... you'd think so." He suddenly stopped and lowered his voice. "Prince Ivan is... well, he doesn't take these things as seriously as he should. His father wants to make sure you know everything before he hands you over to his son."

Gilbert swallowed nervously. The guard made him sound like a plaything, and like Ivan didn't really want a bodyguard.

"Right, well, follow me."

Gilbert continued to follow the other man, though noticed a bit of fear in him. It seemed strange to Gilbert but he wasn't sure why. Soon the man led him to a large set of doors, which he assumed led to the throne room. The guard knocked on the door and they opened, he beckoned with his hand for Gilbert to come in and he did. Across the large room there was a man dressed in fur and leather sitting on a throne, with two bonfires blazing beside him.

"Your majesty, the knight has arrived," said the guard as he walked toward the king. Gilbert followed close behind, and once again everyone's eyes were on him. He reached a step that led up to the king, and then got down on one knee to bow respectfully.

"You can stand, boy, it's all right," the king spoke with a husky, deep tone that matched his rugged look. Gilbert stood up straight. "What's your name?"

"Gilbert Beilschmidt, your majesty," he answered.

"Hm..." Nikolai scanned the albino. "You're skinny, don't look like you got a lot of muscle, and you look too pretty to be strong. How can you protect my son?"

Gilbert was stumped for a moment and before he could speak again, a guard did so for him.

"Your majesty, this is Gilbert Beilschmidt. King Rosenthal's 'Ghost.'"

Nikolai's eyes opened a centimeter. "You don't say... well then, in that case. I'll trust my son to you."

Gilbert bowed his head, though felt a bit like he was under attack with the insults from earlier. He knew he was pretty, but to question his strength because he was pleasing to look at? Ridiculous. He could take out everyone in the room silently if he wanted to.

"Now, the details of your mission are simple. Protect my son from any harm. Even if he tells you he's not in danger, do not let your guard down. I'm sure you've heard that a plot has been discovered to kill him?" Gilbert nodded. "Well, prevent that from happening. If anyone attacks him, keep them alive if you can and bring them here. Any questions?"

"No, your majesty."

"Good. Toris here will take you to my son." A brunet man came up to Gilbert and smiled a little, which Gilbert returned. Toris began to lead Gilbert away.

"Oh, one more thing, Ghost," he called out and Gilbert turned to face him. "Keep my son happy, he rarely is these days. I don't care what you have to do. Make him happy."

Gilbert swallowed, but nodded in understanding.

/

"Make the prince happy? You've got a terrible job," Toris said as he walked in front of Gilbert.

"What do you mean? Why?"

"Oh... you don't know anything about Lord Ivan, do you? He likes people who laugh and cry easily. Do you laugh or cry easily, Sir Gilbert?"

"Uh..." Gilbert's mind went blank for a moment. "I have a good sense of humor, if that's what you mean."

"Oh... oh well good luck with that." It wasn't what he meant at all. Either way it wasn't good for Gilbert, whether Ivan liked or disliked him.

Gilbert nearly snapped at the man in irritation but he suddenly stopped.

"Here we are. This is Lord Ivan's room." He turned to Gilbert. "It's not my place but... if I can give you any advice, do not make him angry, and if he orders you to do something, just do it."

"I know, I'm here on a mission and I'm to serve and protect the prince."

Toris' eyes narrowed. "Right... good luck." He turned toward the door and knocked. "Lord Ivan, your knight has arrived."

"Oh, send him in!" came a voice from the other side.

Toris turned to Gilbert, patted his arm as if he was walking to his death, and then opened the door. Gilbert gave a nod of his head, stepped into the room, and Toris shut the door behind him.

Prince Ivan was sitting on the other side of the room at a desk with his back facing Gilbert. He didn't seem to have an immediate interest in the arrival of his knight at all. Gilbert tilted his head a bit, and noticed that the prince wasn't entirely as he pictured in his head. Rather than looking like the typical fancy prince, Ivan looked a lot like his father, except for the long scarf hanging over his back. He had the same dusty blond hair as his father did, and his body looked large even when sitting in a chair, his shoulders broad and thick.

"You are late, knight." Gilbert stiffened and his heart fluttered quickly for a second. "I do not like waiting..." Ivan placed his pen down and turned around to look at his knight, whom he was actually going to punish a bit for being late, but the instant Ivan laid his eyes upon the knight, he froze, amazed by what he saw. His eyes went wide, and he was speechless. Gilbert held his gaze for a moment, a bit frightened that he already wronged the prince within a minute of their first meeting. Then, he began to wonder about the look Ivan was giving him, he looked strangely stunned.

Ivan cleared his throat quietly. "But... I will make an exception. You had a long journey, you must be tired, yes?" Ivan asked.

Gilbert blinked widely. "Um. Yes—I mean, no. I...."

Ivan tilted his head, curious. "It's all right. Don't look so frightened. What is your name?"

"Gilbert Beilschmidt, your highness."

"Call me 'Lord.' I don't like 'highness.'" Gilbert nodded once. "So you are my knight..." Ivan scanned the unusually pale man up and down. "Well, show me what you can do." He smiled.

Gilbert stood there in confusion. "Um... how do you...?"

Ivan's smile turned into a small grin. "Protect me."

The German glanced around, even more confused. "Uh..."

Ivan laughed softly, though it almost sounded like a giggle. "I don't mean right now, silly! Your job is to protect me twenty-four-seven, so I'll see what you can do eventually."

Gilbert sighed heavily. 'This guy's gonna give me a heart attack...'

"I am sorry. You're fun to mess with, is all." Ivan stood up. "I'd like to get to know my knight better, so I'll prepare a meal for us."

Gilbert nodded his head, but Ivan noticed how the man's head swayed a little and how his eyes were drooping down. "You look tired. Are you?"

"No, sir, I—"

"Ah ah." Ivan waved his index finger at the albino. " _Lord._ "

"Right, I'm sorry, Lord Ivan."

"Good. Now don't lie. Are you tired?"

Gilbert nodded once. "I rode through the night to get here."

Ivan looked confused. "Why didn't you stop at an inn?"

"I did, but then I found out that I took a wrong road and was lost." Gilbert chuckled nervously.

The prince really liked that. "I see, well I can tell you're tired. Follow me." Ivan went to the door, walked out, and Gilbert followed behind like an obedient puppy. Ivan took him down a few halls to another room.

"You can sleep in here for a few hours, and then later I'll have a meal prepared for us in the evening." Ivan walked farther into the room. "You'll find sleepwear in the dresser, and you can just put your armor on the table."

Gilbert looked around the room. It was much bigger than his room back home and everything looked more comfortable, especially the bed. Part of him felt like it wasn't right to accept such a nice offer, but he was extremely tired and the queen sized bed looked very appealing. He turned to Ivan.

"Thank you, I appreciate it."

Ivan smiled softly. "I'll come back for you later." He went to the door and watched Gilbert for a moment. 'I like him already,' he thought, and then left.

Gilbert stood still for a few seconds before removing his armor. His arm was healing and luckily the wound didn't get infected, and it barely hurt anymore. After placing his armor on the table as Ivan told him to, he went to the dresser and picked out a bigger shirt and pair of pants. Before he stripped, though, he looked to the door to make sure it was closed, and then removed his clothes. The clothing was nicer than any casual clothes he'd ever worn before and felt soft against his skin. He then climbed into the bed after dressing and instantly he felt his muscles relax and loosen. He stretched and let out a quiet moan of contentment as his limbs trembled weakly, like he actually felt pleasure from the comfort. He sighed heavily and sunk back into the soft pillow.

'I could get used to this.' He smiled to himself and pulled the blanket up over his body. Never before had a bed felt so comfortable to him, it was like lying on a cloud. His eyes got heavy quickly, as if the warmth just urged him to sleep. He blinked a few times and yawned, and then the next time he closed his eyes, he fell asleep.

/

Evening came quick and Ivan was pacing around a small room. The table was set with food and drink. Surely Gilbert would enjoy such a fine meal. It was exciting to Ivan that there was a newcomer in his home. What was the knight like? What did he like to eat? He didn't even care about if Gilbert was strong enough to protect him, he trusted King Rosenthal to send his best so he didn't waste time thinking about it.

'Does he laugh easily?' Ivan wondered with a small smirk on his lips, placing a spoon next to a knife neatly.

It was about time to wake his pale new friend, so Ivan left the room and was nearly prancing down the hall. He opened the door slowly and peeked in. Gilbert's armor was on the table, and the German himself was in the bed. Ivan almost laughed. Gilbert was a knight, probably well-versed in etiquette with good manners, yet his sleeping pose was very messy. Gilbert's body was strewn across the bed, his head not even on the pillow anymore, his hair unruly, and one of his thin pale legs was jutting out from under the blanket, his pant-leg riding up his calf. Ivan stood beside the bed and stared at the man below him, Gilbert was stunning even when sleeping. He curiously stroked short bangs from the other's forehead.

'So white...' he thought. 'His hair is pure white...' His fingers grazed one pale eyebrow, and then he looked at the albino's closed eyes, and how his white lashes rested atop his cheeks. The man looked like a marble statue, like he should be showcased and gazed at for his beauty. He didn't have a single mark or scar on his face, which seemed strange for a knight. Ivan always thought that knights were big and manly, covered in scars from their adventures and battles, but Gilbert looked much different than he imagined his knight would. He looked like a doll, a sleeping angel.

Ivan placed a hand on Gilbert's shoulder and barely squeezed. Pink eyes shot open and Gilbert jolted up from the bed. He grabbed Ivan's wrist and looked defensive, even a bit frightened.

Ivan only smiled. "You're a quick one to react, aren't you."

Gilbert studied that smile for a moment, and then realized that he still had a tight grip on the prince's wrist. Quickly he let go and bowed his head. "I'm sorry. You startled me, I didn't mean to grab you."

The prince set his hand atop Gilbert's head and rubbed slowly. "It's all right, Gilbert." The albino looked up at him with confusion, feeling uneasy about the strange affection Ivan was showing him. Gilbert was certain that a prince shouldn't be acting like that toward a knight.

"I've prepared a wonderful meal for us this evening," Ivan spoke as he went to the dresser. Gilbert watched him curiously but didn't speak. Ivan began to pull clothing from the wardrobe and eventually came back to Gilbert. He laid the clothes out on the bed.

"Wear these and meet me in the sunroom at the end of the hall, it's to your right when you leave." Ivan smiled and left Gilbert to himself.

Gilbert got out of bed. He looked at the clothes and then picked up the cream colored tunic, which had little brown strings crossing over the front of the collarbone. He didn't understand why Ivan wanted him to wear these.

"What about my armor?" he asked aloud and glanced to his armor on the table. 'He didn't say to wear it, so...' He pulled his shirt off and changed into the clothes Ivan picked for him, wearing the black trousers along with it. He slipped on his leather boots and attached his weapons belt around his waist. He didn't feel comfortable without his armor, so he had to at least have his dagger with him. He was under orders to do whatever Prince Ivan asked of him, but at least the clothes were comfortable to wear.

/

Ivan waited patiently in the sunroom, sitting in a chair by the window where he had a view of the open landscape and hills outside the walls. His head turned to the door when he heard it open, and in walked Gilbert. The prince jumped up quickly and went to greet him.

"You're here! Wonderful!" He pulled Gilbert by the hand to a chair near the one he was sitting in before. Gilbert went blank for a moment and just let himself be pulled around like a rag doll. It was strange for a prince to be so childish.

"Now, sit and eat as much as you want!" Ivan smiled happily and sat down. He immediately began to pile food onto his plate.

'He's like a child...' Gilbert thought. 'Watching a child. That's my job...' He didn't like the idea of it.

"Gilbert? What's wrong?" Ivan looked at him, blinking his violet eyes innocently. He knew exactly why Gilbert was hesitating. Ivan made Gilbert uneasy and unsure.

"Nothing, Lord Ivan, just thinking." Gilbert sat down in the chair beside Ivan. It was the only other chair in the room, which was probably Ivan's doing.

Ivan was curious about Gilbert's thoughts but didn't press him about it. "Well... anyway, eat as much as you want. You look like you haven't eaten much in a while."

Gilbert had been looking over the amount of delicious food as Ivan spoke. "Yesterday morning, but I've never had a meal this nice before. You sure it's okay for me to eat this?" he asked.

Ivan's eyes were wide and he seemed to be processing the question. He then began to laugh loudly and it annoyed Gilbert. The albino held back any snide comments he wanted to make and sat in silence as the prince laughed at him.

"Oh—oh Gilbert! That's cute!" Ivan finally spoke through his mocking chuckles. "You're quite funny, you know that—"

"I _wasn't_  joking!" Gilbert shouted and then quickly covered his mouth. The outburst took Ivan by surprise. No one had ever shouted at him before, but besides that, he was confused by the other's words.

"Not joking...? So, you really don't know if it's okay for you to eat...?" Gilbert remained quiet. "... why wouldn't it be okay for you to eat? I told you to eat as much as you want."

Gilbert stared at his empty plate. He realized that Ivan was legitimately confused by what he had said. "Where I'm from, knights usually don't eat as well as this, so it feels a little strange..."

Ivan tilted his head. "They don't? ... hm... well, here you'll always eat well, that I can promise you." Ivan stabbed a piece of meat with his fork. "Now eat."

Gilbert didn't have a reason not to eat. He was starving and his stomach hurt from the lack of food. He began to gather food onto his plate, but not without Ivan noticing what he was taking. Mostly bread, and some fresh strawberries too. It made Ivan grin, which he covered with his glass as he drank. Everything Gilbert did amused him.

"Would you like a drink, Gilbert?" Ivan asked, holding an empty cup. "I'm not sure what you drink at your home, but here vodka is the best drink."

"Vodka?" Gilbert raised an eyebrow.

Ivan nodded once. "It's alcohol, and it's delicious." He poured some for the other. "Here."

Gilbert took the cup that was outstretched to him. It looked just like water. He took a small sip and made a face, which made Ivan chuckle.

"You'll get used to it, but try not to get drunk on the job." Ivan went back to eating.

The Russian's words triggered a thought in Gilbert's mind. He took another drink and watched Ivan. "... may I ask you a question, my lord?"

Ivan closed his eyes and smiled softly. "You already have." Gilbert was a bit baffled by the answer and Ivan looked at him. "You don't need to ask, to ask, Sir Gilbert." He chuckled.

Swallowing a bit of saliva in his mouth, Gilbert thought about his words before he said them. He felt as if he had to plan every word or else Ivan would find a hole in them and break him down, and it stressed him out.

"Speaking of my job... shouldn't I be wearing my armor?" he asked. "I'm supposed to protect you, so I should be, right?"

Ivan set his glass down. "Don't worry about it. We're four floors up and there are guards on every floor and outside. You only need armor if we're outside, and that's if someone is even going to attack."

Gilbert watched the prince put a small square of meat in his mouth. 'He doesn't think he's being targeted...? I guess his father was right.' Gilbert chewed on a piece of bread.

Ivan swallowed the rest of his vodka and sat in silence for a while as Gilbert ate. He was a bit surprised with how much Gilbert was eating, but he was a grown man who hadn't eaten in a while, and Ivan guessed it was probably stressful to be on his mission.

"Gilbert..." Ivan finally spoke. His voice was quiet and soft, very soothing, and it got Gilbert's attention. "I want to get to know you. You will be here for a few months, after all..."

Gilbert swallowed a piece of meat. "What about me?" 'I feel like a guest here...' he thought, and it made him feel uncomfortable.

"Anything. Where you grew up, your family, your childhood, how you became a knight." Ivan smiled. "I want to know who Gilbert Beilschmidt is."

It took a moment for Gilbert to think. He didn't want to bore Ivan with meaningless details of his life, but the man did ask so he was supposed to tell. "I grew up with my brother." The statement seemed to intrigue Ivan for he leaned a bit closer and looked curious. "Our parents both died shortly after he was born, so I had to teach him everything."

"What does he do now?"

Gilbert chuckled. "He's our king's personal guard."

Ivan's eyes widened. "Really, that's quite an honor."

"Yeah." Gilbert smiled as he looked into his cup of vodka. "Me though, I got stuck with the title of "Ghost" and now I mainly guard doors."

"Ghost?" Ivan repeated, thinking that the name sounded familiar. "As in, the Ghost of Bellmore? _The_  Ghost?"

Gilbert blinked at the Russian somewhat confused. "Yeah... that's me."

"Wow... I've heard of you before. Why do they call you that? Is it because of your pasty white skin?" Ivan nearly giggled.

Gilbert gave Ivan a sullen look and pursed his lips out a bit with irritation. "No. I'm good at killing and remaining undetected."

"Oooh," Ivan hummed excitedly. "You're quite dangerous then?"

Gilbert chewed some bread. "I guess." He swallowed.

"How do you kill?"

Gilbert craned his head to him and paused. He then sighed. "I don't like my nickname."

Ivan lost his excited look. "Why not?"

"'Ghost' makes me sound like I'm dead. I also don't like that I'm referred to as 'Rosenthal's Ghost' just because I've killed for him. I didn't set out to be his Ghost, I was just doing my job and the king decided to curse me with a title that makes even more people dislike me."

"People dislike you?"

Gilbert nodded. "I'm the only one who looks like this in my city. Who has no color, I mean. People think I'm either diseased, dying, a demon, or an angel." He sighed and leaned onto the table, smushing his cheek into his palm.

Ivan watched Gilbert gaze forlornly out the window. Ivan disagreed with all of the titles except for one. Ivan did think Gilbert looked like an angel. He was so pure and white, and his skin seemed so smooth and soft. It was only just the first day, but Ivan grew attached to the German like a child to a new pet. It was possessive, and he didn't realize that it would eventually drive the other away.

"I see... well, I have to admit, you're not what I expected of the famous Ghost." Ivan poured some more vodka for himself.

"How so?" Gilbert asked.

"Well... you're a lot younger than I thought you'd be, and... you're very... pretty looking, and delicate."

Gilbert's eyes narrowed. "Yeah I get that a lot," he muttered.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I'm glad I have someone as skilled as you watching my back."

Gilbert glanced to the Russian and gave him an appreciative smile. Ivan blushed, his eyes bat quickly in embarrassment and turned his body away. He lowered his face into his thick scarf, snaked a hand up his torso, and felt his heart beating faster in his chest. Just one little smile from Gilbert got his cheeks glowing pink, and he didn't understand it. Ivan was no stranger to romance or intimacy, but the knight smiled once at him and he felt like his insides were melting.

Gilbert blinked, wondering if he'd done something wrong. "Lord Ivan?" he questioned. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Ivan answered quickly and then cleared his throat. "Sir Gilbert... I'd like you to do something for me..." His cheeks were still warm. "I want you to call me 'Master' instead of 'Lord,'" he said.

Gilbert tilted his head and cocked an eyebrow up. "It might not be my place to ask, but why?"

Ivan attempted to hide his darkening blush behind his scarf. "You get to use a special term for me, no one else calls me master, but you will."

The albino sighed. He didn't really care either way, and it wasn't like he had a choice. "All right, if that's what you want." He yawned.

Ivan smiled happily toward his knight. "Are you still tired?"

Gilbert nodded. "A bit."

"Why don't you go back to sleep then?" He stood up and placed a hand on Gilbert's shoulder. "I'll take you back to your room." He pulled lightly on the albino's arm, coaxing him to stand as well. Gilbert stumbled a bit as Ivan pulled him out of the room by the sleeve of his shirt. The prince's hand slipped down his arm and to his wrist where he then locked his hand with Gilbert's. Ivan had a thin taut smile stretching his lips, and a pretty blush on his cheeks. Gilbert couldn't see Ivan's face but he felt strange holding his hand even without seeing that the Russian was blushing. They passed a guard standing watch, and Gilbert couldn't help but notice the guard give him a disapproving look. It made his cheeks warm with embarrassment. He'd never held hands with someone except to help the other person, but it felt different with Ivan, and it made Gilbert uncomfortable. Once they reached Gilbert's room, Ivan let go and Gilbert sighed in relief. Something then occurred to him that he'd been too preoccupied to realize before.

"Shouldn't I stay in your room with you? I'm supposed to guard you at all times, right?"

Ivan's smile widened. "If you want to. Truth is, I have two guards outside my door at night, so it's not necessary to have you in my room. That is, unless you want to," he repeated, batting his eyes twice.

"No, I was just asking." He felt a bit awkward with how the prince was acting. It felt like he was trying to convince Gilbert to stay in his room. Gilbert didn't understand it, considering all Ivan had to do was order him to stay with him and he'd have to.

Ivan pouted, having wanted Gilbert to choose to stay with him. "All right. Just come by my room in the morning and we'll discuss what we're doing tomorrow." He turned and walked away. "Get some rest tonight, Sir Gilbert," he said in a light, playful tone.

Gilbert watched him until he turned down another hall, and then quickly slipped inside his room. There was a candle ready to be lit sitting on the table to the right. He took a match to the candle and lit it, picked it up by the plate it was on, and then set the candle on the nightstand by the bed. He noticed on one side of the room that his leather armor had been placed on a rack, freshly cleaned as well. There were three long sleeping gowns laid out for him on the bed — one dark red, one black, and one white. Feeling a need for a small change, he dressed in the red one, put his other clothes in a basket by the bed, and then put the other gowns in the dresser.

He got into bed and sat up for a while in silence. He couldn't shake a strange feeling he had. The prince was treating him like a guest, like an old friend who had come by to visit. It felt wrong. He was Ivan's protector. He wasn't there to drink vodka and talk the day away. The way Ivan talked to him, showed interest in him, and how he held his hand, it all bothered Gilbert, but he couldn't deny that deep down he actually liked it. Never once had another person asked him to tell them about himself. Ivan was the first one to call him pretty and seem to care about him as a person too. He let the thought put a small smile on his lips. When he realized that he was also blushing, he shook his head as if to shake the thoughts from his mind. He leaned over and looked at the candle.

'I guess it couldn't hurt to be friends with him though... it might help.' He smiled a little, and then blew out the candle, letting darkness fill the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks for reading!**  
>  If you like this fic, please let me know with a comment! It's what keeps us writers going!  
> Follow me on [**twitter**](https://twitter.com/SqueakiRi) for personal/fanfic updates!  
> 


	3. Bull's-Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted: August 8, 2014

He still wasn't used to waking up in such a lush bed, and he didn't want to get up at all. He groaned, nearly moaning as he rolled over onto his stomach. It was ridiculous for a bed to feel so good! Even his clothing felt fantastic on his body. So warm and soft. He never wanted to move. The bed was his permanent resting spot, or so he told himself. When he rolled over and the light from the sun pierced through the curtains and into his eyes, reality checked in and told him that it was, in fact, morning, and reminded him that he had a prince to protect. As much as he loved the bed, he dragged himself out of it, put on his clean leather armor, and left the room.

The halls seemed a little familiar from yesterday. He turned down another hall when someone called out his name. Gilbert turned around and saw Toris, the frightened knight from yesterday.

"Sir Gilbert!" the man called to him again as he approached him in a jog. He stopped in front of the albino.

"Hey," Gilbert greeted rather casually.

"How was your first day yesterday?" Toris asked.

"Fine, I guess."

"Did Lord Ivan... do anything?"

Gilbert tilted his head. "What? No he let me sleep and then gave me food."

"So... he didn't hurt you?"

"No." He looked even more baffled. "Why would he?"

Toris seemed to tense up and Gilbert stared at him in confusion. "I've heard rumors about Lord Ivan... I was just curious if any were true. I've heard he's really mean."

"Oh yeah, after he treated me to that awesome meal, he grew horns and a tail and drank my blood to fuel his demonic powers," Gilbert spoke sarcastically. He wasn't sure if he'd frightened Toris with his words since the man seemed concerned, still with that weird look of fear on his face. Gilbert sighed.

"No, Master Ivan has not hurt me. I think you're all just overreacting to strange rumors."

Toris' eyes widened when he heard "master." It was a strange term for the albino to be using. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't keep you from your duties then." The man bowed, quickly turned on his heels, and left.

Gilbert stayed still for a moment thinking about how strange Toris was. He shrugged it off and continued on his way, though he was beginning to get curious of why so many thought Ivan was mean and cruel. The man was a bit eccentric but he seemed mostly harmless. Gilbert ignored his thoughts for now. He remembered from yesterday where Ivan's room was, so he found it fairly quickly. There were two guards standing outside and both gave him a glare as he approached. He wanted to return the glare, but he chose to take the high road and not. He stepped passed the guards, opened the door, and entered the prince's room.

Ivan was asleep all cuddled and snuggled into his large bed. Gilbert was almost jealous of Ivan for having such a wonderful thing to sleep in, but Ivan was a prince so he got the best of everything. The bed was larger than his, and the pillows and blankets looked as if Gilbert could get lost and tangled in them forever. He stepped over to the bedside and looked down at Ivan's face for a moment. The man really looked like a sleeping child, but there was something about him that seemed off. Almost like a child who had been forced to grow up. Gilbert sighed and tried to wake him up.

"Master Ivan." He rocked the prince by his shoulder, which only caused the larger male to grunt in his sleep. "Wake up, it's morning." He shook him a bit harder until purple eyes slid open tiredly.

"Hm...? Gilbert?"

"It's morning. You told me to come here in the morning, remember?"

"Oh, right..." Ivan sat up and rubbed a hand through his messy, curly ash-blond hair. He glanced over to his knight, and admired how even this early Gilbert was dressed and ready. The albino even had his hand resting on the grip of his blade, like he was ready to defend at a moment's notice. Ivan wasn't sure if someone actually wanted him dead, Wayland was full of ridiculous rumors as such, but he found that he didn't particularly care for he now had a loyal and beautiful White Knight to watch his back.

Ivan stood up from his bed, stretched, and without saying a single word, stripped right on the spot. Gilbert watched for a split second, thinking he was just removing his shirt, however when the prince dropped his pants shamelessly, Gilbert spun his entire body around and covered his eyes.

"Give me some warning next time will ya!?" Gilbert yelled, still not looking at the other. He slapped a hand over his mouth after his outburst. "Sorry. I didn't mean to yell."

"That's quite alright, Gilbert." Ivan finished dressing and placed a hand on Gilbert's shoulder. "Good morning," he hummed happily, leaned in, and kissed Gilbert's cheek, but the albino pulled back immediately as his lips touched him.

"Whoa what are you doing!?" Gilbert shouted and nearly tripped over his own feet as he stumbled backward.

Ivan blinked widely and confusedly. "What?"

"The kissing! What are you doing!?"

"Oh... it's a greeting," Ivan stated. "Here we greet family and friends with a kiss on the cheek."

Gilbert's face dropped a little in disgust. "I'd highly appreciate if you didn't greet me like that..."

Ivan looked even more confused. "Why not?"

"Because! We don't do that where I'm from!"

"Ah, but you're not where you're from right now, are you?" Ivan smiled. "You're here, and while you're here in my kingdom, you'll abide by the customs here. If I want to greet you with a kiss, I will do so."

"I'd really rather you not..." Gilbert looked away.

"Why?"

Gilbert hated that his cheeks actually felt a bit warm. "It's not common where I'm from... kissing people randomly, even if it is a greeting..."

Ivan pursed his lips just slightly. "You aren't a monk or a priest, are you?"

"What? No." Gilbert raised an eyebrow. "I mean, not technically. The church and White Knight Order are close, but that's it."

"I see... well then, what say you to a little game?" Ivan asked.

Gilbert didn't like the eerie smile on Ivan's lips. "What kind of game?"

Ivan's grin grew. "Just a friendly contest. We'll have a little archery tournament, okay?"

"Okay..." Gilbert agreed hesitantly.

"The loser, though... has to strip naked for the other, and then serve the winner alcohol of their choosing."

Gilbert's face dropped. "What!? No!"

Ivan pouted. "Oh come on, don't you have confidence in your skills, _knight?_ "

Gilbert grit his teeth. He was the best archer in the White Knights; he earned his nickname for using a bow and being silent and deadly. There's no way he'd lose the contest.

"alright, you're on." Gilbert grinned. "Better get ready to strip, master, because I'm going to win this contest."

"Don't get too cocky, Gilbert," Ivan said, chuckling. His eyes sparkled with excitement and interest. He didn't care either — who won or lost. The contest wasn't important to him at all.

/

Ivan first took Gilbert to breakfast to cure their rumbling tummies, and then afterward he escorted his knight to a large open field behind the castle, still inside city walls. The area looked like a training ground, with targets in the distance—which Gilbert could only assume was what he'd be shooting at—straw-stuffed dummies that were leaking their stuffing out through slashes made by swords, and a circle arena for brawls between knights and guards. Gilbert followed Ivan down a path with rows of yellow flowers on both sides until they reached a small shack. Ivan opened the door and went inside while Gilbert stood out for a second, looking around cautiously. They were out of the castle and while not in the city, Gilbert was officially on duty now.

'Is it really okay for us to be goofing off outside like this?' he wondered.

"Gilbert!" Ivan called from the shed. The knight turned his attention to the small building and stepped inside. Gilbert immediately had a bow and quiver of arrows shoved toward him. "Here."

Gilbert took the weapon, and noticed how many arrows were in the quiver. "Only five?" he asked.

Ivan nodded. "Each one is worth ten points if it hits a target. First person to fifty wins, or the one who runs out of arrows first loses."

The albino scoffed and threw the quiver over his shoulder. "With all due respect, Master Ivan, I am going to destroy you. Archery is _my_  game."

Ivan grinned. "Remember what I said, don't get too cocky, or you might just find yourself nude and serving me some vodka this evening."

"Not going to happen." Gilbert walked out of the shed, followed by the prince with his own bow and arrows. Ivan then took the lead and showed Gilbert to the archery grounds. There were targets at different distances in front of them.

"Do you know the rules, Gilbert?" Ivan asked, smiling toward the other male.

Gilbert narrowed his eyes on the targets, counting them. "There are ten targets, so five to each of us. First to hit all five wins, like you said."

"And if you run out of arrows before hitting all five...?"

" _You_  have to serve me some cold beer in the nude," Gilbert retorted with a grin that both challenged and excited the prince.

"Your confidence will be your downfall, Sir Gilbert," said Ivan. "Let us begin."

The two positioned themselves and readied their first arrow.

"Ready?" Ivan looked to Gilbert, who nodded. "Go!"

Both let their arrows fly. Just to make Gilbert think he could win, Ivan purposely missed his first shot while Gilbert hit his. He saw the smug grin on the knight's face as if he was sure he'd already won. Gilbert's first two arrows hit their marks and he felt proud of that, until his third arrow missed. He seemed stumped that he missed, and his eyes snapped to Ivan's targets as the prince's arrows pierced two in a row.

"We're even," Ivan spoke as he loaded another arrow onto his bow. Gilbert swallowed roughly and did the same. They released their arrows and both hit their fourth target. Gilbert quickly loaded his final arrow, but he let it go too soon and it didn't even reach his target. Immediately a sense of dread filled him.

Ivan shot his fifth arrow and it pierced into the farthest target. He smiled happily. "I won!" he beamed and ran over to Gilbert. "Now I get to see if all of you is as milky white as the rest!" The knight turned away, scoffing and crossing his arms. "Don't be so upset. If you got your last target, it would have been a tie."

Gilbert glanced to Ivan. "Just out of curiosity, what would have happened if, y'know, there was a draw?"

Ivan smiled. "Why, we'd both strip and drink together!"

Gilbert looked disgusted by the thought. "That sounds unpleasant."

The prince pouted a little. "Come, let's go back inside."

/

Ivan dragged his knight back inside and pulled Gilbert down the hall. Gilbert was barely keeping his balance, and several of the guards dotting the halls watched them, some even began to snicker at him, thinking that he was quickly becoming Prince Ivan's new favorite pet. In truth, Gilbert felt that way himself. Still, there was a little something that he liked about being in the new castle. Ivan treated him better than the other White Knights, and allowed him wonderful food and the softest bed he'd ever slept on. Even though he lost the archery contest and was facing the risk of letting someone see him naked for the first time, he had to admit that there was something he enjoyed about it. For once, he was shooting arrows for fun, and not to kill someone for his king.

Back in the parlor room, Ivan sat down and began ordering a servant to bring them all sorts of food. Gilbert took off his weapons belt and leaned onto the table as Ivan spoke to the woman. Once she left, Ivan smiled toward him.

"After we eat you will take a bath, and then join me in my room later. Understand?" he asked. Gilbert hesitated before nodding. "Good! You're a very good shot, you know." Ivan poured some vodka. "None of my own archers can hit the fourth target but you nearly got a bulls-eye on it. Who taught you to shoot like that?" He pushed a cup toward Gilbert.

"I did." Gilbert picked up the cup and took a drink. "I was never any good with a sword, so I picked up a bow and before I knew it I was the king's Ghost."

"A knight who isn't good with a sword... you must be scary with a bow in your hand."

"Were you scared earlier?"

"No." Ivan paused. "But you weren't aiming your arrow at me."

Gilbert smiled. "If I was, you wouldn't see it coming."

"So I've heard. Gilbert, how exactly did you get nicknamed 'Ghost?'" Ivan asked.

"I told you that I killed someone for the king."

"Sure, but tons of knights do that. What makes you so special?"

Gilbert looked down at his empty plate. "... there was this bandit causing a lot of trouble so I was ordered to kill him, and I'm smaller than most of the other knights, so I'm able to slip between cracks and get inside places without using the front door. When I came home I was asked if anyone saw me and I said no. The king was amused. He liked the idea that one of his knights was so good that it was like a ghost doing his killing. So he took to calling me that."

Ivan sipped his vodka. He caught onto the tone of dread in Gilbert's voice. "You really don't like the name...?"

"No. I didn't want him to call me it but he rewarded me in front of the entire White Knight Order. I couldn't deny the title when he 'honored' me with it."

The prince set his cup down. "Well, technically you're not his ghost anymore." Gilbert looked at him with wide eyes filled with confusion. "The terms I gave your king were that you belong to me for however long I need you."

"But, I'm still a White Knight, under orders from King Ros—"

"Shh, no. You are Gilbert. You are a new guard who can barely wield a sword, but I've chosen to personally train and turn you into a skilled knight." Ivan smiled.

"But—"

"And you are no longer Ghost. You are just Gilbert."

Gilbert sighed. "Fine."

"Good. Now drink up."

Shaking his head in slight amusement, Gilbert picked up his cup and drank. He was smiling slightly and felt a bit relieved, though he wasn't sure why. He didn't really belong to Ivan, his being there was just temporary, but the thought that Ivan could order everyone to never call him "Ghost" was a very appealing thought. He always tried to embrace his nickname but it was just a constant reminder that he was just good at hiding in the shadows, and it brought him more trouble than it did good.

The servant from before returned with another spectacular meal, which was gone almost as quickly as it came. Both the prince and knight ate until their bellies bulged out a bit. After he finished, Ivan stood up.

"If you'll follow me, I'll take you to the washroom."

Gilbert dabbed his mouth with a cloth and then followed the Prince. Ivan led him down a few different halls until he went into a small room. There was a fancy tub made of white stone and clean towels hanging on a rack. The tub was already full of steaming water.

"Come to my room when you're done." Ivan smiled at him and then closed the door.

Gilbert watched the door for a few seconds before he paced to it and locked it. He slowly removed each bit of his armor until there was nothing left but his skin.

'He's... not seriously going to make me strip in front of him... is he?' he thought and then looked down at his naked body. The idea didn't scare him but it made him uncomfortable. He flirted a lot but never got more than a hug from anyone. Ivan was the first one to ever kiss him besides his mother, even if it was just on the cheek. It bothered him that the first one to see him naked would be a man he barely knew and didn't particularly like enough to be nude with. He didn't think that Ivan was ugly, and he is a prince, but that didn't mean he was okay with it.

The more he fretted over it the more nauseated he felt. He thought, 'Just have to grin and bear it until it's over,' and then lowered himself into the water.

/

Ivan began back to his room with a bottle of vodka and two glasses, just in case his soon-to-be naked friend would want to drink as well. He knew from the start that Gilbert would lose the contest. The boy was too eager to prove himself, and when signs of defeat began to show, he lost his nerve. He was all bark and no bite. Still, Gilbert had skill, or else his king wouldn't have sent him.

"Lord Ivan," a guard approached him.

"Yes?"

"King Nikolai has asked me to find you."

Ivan tilted his head slightly. "For what?"

"He didn't say, my lord, just that he wishes to speak with you."

The prince sighed. "Very well." He said nothing more and walked away. He found his way to his father's private quarters and the guards let him through.

"You wanted to see me?" he asked.

The king turned around in his chair. "Yes... it's about that knight of yours."

"What about him?"

"Sit," the elder instructed with his finger toward a chair. Ivan did so. "How is he? Is he cooperating well?"

Ivan nodded. "Yes. I can tell he's a little stubborn, but I'm very pleased with my protector."

"Good..." The king was silent for a few seconds. "I heard from your sister that you were outside with him today?"

"I challenged him to an archery contest," Ivan said. "I wanted to get to know him, and he's an excellent archer. He nearly tied with me, actually."

"Really? The king's eyes widened. "Well... at least you like him. How is he at fighting?"

"I'm not sure yet. He said he's not very good with a sword, but he's very good with a bow. I trust him fully."

Nikolai sighed heavily. "You may trust him but many of the other guards do not. And your little sister doesn't like him too much either."

"Natalia doesn't like _anyone_  who gets close to me."

"There's a reason for that, he's a stranger from another kingdom. But if you trust him, then I'll give him the benefit of the doubt."

Ivan stood up. "Thank you. I shouldn't stay long though, I have plans with Gilbert soon." He smiled and headed for the door.

"Ivan." The prince turned to look at his father. "If he shows any suspicious behavior, tell me immediately." Ivan nodded in understanding and left.

/

Ivan thought it was strange that his father was more paranoid than he was. There were rumors of a plot to kill him and he had a stranger protecting him. However, Ivan did not care. He was not scared and he trusted Gilbert because Gilbert was frightened of him. Men are known for being irrational when faced with fear, but Ivan thought that if death was a possible punishment, Gilbert wouldn't harm a hair on his head. The knight was smarter than that and was on a mission, he wouldn't screw it up so stupidly. However, if Ivan had to use fear to get him to cooperate without issue, then that's what he'd do, though he didn't like the idea of doing it.

He shooed away the guards standing outside his door and then entered. It'd been a while since he left Gilbert in the bath so he was expected to show up soon. Ivan set the tall bottle of vodka and glasses on a skinny circular table, and then sat in the cushioned chair beside it. He crossed one leg over the other and waited.

Ten minutes later there was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Ivan asked.

"Sir Gilbert," answered the voice.

Ivan grinned slightly. "Come in." Gilbert entered the room and shut the door behind him. Ivan hopped up and went to him.

"It's good to see you again." He didn't hesitate to kiss both of Gilbert's cheeks and smiled brightly. There was a tiny blush of embarrassment on the albino's face along with the expression of annoyance, which only pleased the Russian more. Ivan circled around the other and locked the door; he then put his hands on Gilbert's shoulders and pushed the man into the room further. He sat back in his chair and looked at Gilbert.

"Are you alright?"

Gilbert tensed. Ivan's voice was smooth and sweet but something about it sent a chill down his spine. He knew that remaining silent would only drag things out. Ivan tilted his head in curiosity. The silence only made the prince certain that something was wrong even if Gilbert would deny it.

"Yes, I'm fine," Gilbert answered.

Ivan smiled. "Good. And how was your bath?"

"Good..."

"I'm glad to hear it." Ivan leaned back in his chair and sat crookedly, leaning onto one arm more than the other. "Gilbert," Ivan said and Gilbert looked to him. "Strip," he commanded lightly.

Gilbert's heart thumped and he clenched his fists. "No!" he shouted, refusing out of instinct rather than logic.

Ivan's eyes widened a centimeter. "Excuse me?"

"I... I don't want to."

Ivan frowned. "I didn't ask if you did." He sat forward. "It's an order, and your mission is to follow all of my instructions."

Gilbert hesitated more but when he saw Ivan shift in his chair, he felt pressured and quickly began to undo the laces up the front of his leather armor. Once the torso piece was on the floor, he touched his gloved fingers against the ties of his tunic. Shyness and nerves struck his body and he froze.

Ivan was curious for he'd never seen a knight act so shy. "Continue," he instructed and Gilbert shook his head quickly from side-to-side. "Gilbert, I'm ordering you to continue. Now strip."

Gilbert resisted glaring at the prince. He knew he had to watch himself, but letting someone see his naked body was too uncomfortable. He had his orders and they were to follow any instruction from Prince Ivan, even if they were to strip bare for him. He knew that, but he hated that Ivan was demanding such a thing from him. He thought and hoped that the prince would be different.

Swallowing his pride, shame, and shyness, the knight stood still to calm his nerves. For a moment Ivan thought he was refusing again and was ready to "persuade" the albino further, but then Gilbert began to unhook his dagger from his hip and placed it on the bed. Next followed his tight leather gloves and vambraces. Ivan watched with interest as one item was removed after the other, and soon the albino was standing in only his matching beige trousers and tunic. Ivan noticed the hesitation plaguing his body. For a minute the room was silent and Gilbert stood still. He was secretly hoping that Ivan would see his discomfort and call the whole thing off, but the prince had his violet irises watching him like a hawk and showed no signs of letting it go. Gilbert took a deep breath and slowly undid the buttons on his shirt until it parted completely, but he couldn't bring himself to push the sleeves off of his shoulders. He kept most of the shirt on, clinging to it in embarrassment and fear. Ivan's eyes traced the curve of the pale shoulders, and then landed on Gilbert's hands gripping his upper arms tightly.

"Why are you so nervous?"

Ivan's voice startled Gilbert but he didn't look at him. "I've never been naked in front of someone before! Okay!?"

The statement made Ivan's eyes widen. "Really? Someone as pretty as you? Interesting..." 'So, is he a virgin...?'

Gilbert held his shirt together. "I... I can't do this!"

"Gilbert—"

"No! I won't do it!" Gilbert cut him off. "I... I'll take my shirt off, but that's it!"

Ivan stayed silent for a moment. "Very well..."

Gilbert finally, but reluctantly, slid the shirt down his arms, letting it pile with his armor on the floor. "There. That's all you're getting," he stated with pink cheeks and crossed his arms over his chest.

Ivan's eyes went straight to the bandage around Gilbert's arm. 'He's hurt...' he thought, and then looked to Gilbert's face.

"Lower your arms so I can see," Ivan demanded. Gilbert paused again but did as told, and Ivan admired what he saw. Gilbert wasn't as muscular as most other knights, but his stomach was toned and his body lithe. Ivan found it very attractive.

"Why won't you strip for me?"

"I don't want to! And... and, only my lover is allowed to see me fully naked..." Gilbert mumbled.

Ivan narrowed his eyes. "So you have a lover, then...?"

Gilbert bit his lip. Every instinct he had told him to keep lying. "Yes... and they'd be very unhappy if I showed my body to anyone before them."

"I see... so, what is she like? Or are they a he?"

Gilbert blushed. "I... um..."

Ivan noticed something in Gilbert. He stood up and stepped toward the albino. Gilbert moved backward until he hit a wall.

Ivan tilted his head down. "You don't really have a lover, do you?"

"Yes I do!"

Ivan placed his hand on the wall next to Gilbert's head, making him tense up more. "You've already been caught. Now tell me why you lied about having a lover."

Gilbert pressed his back flat against the wall. "... I figured that if you thought I had someone, you wouldn't try anything..." he looked ashamed and down at the floor, but Ivan placed a finger under his chin and made him look up.

"You think I'm going to do something to you?"

Gilbert looked even guiltier but he didn't answer. Ivan sighed, removed his hand, and took a step back. He looked at Gilbert, who seemed utterly broken, like he was terrified but was done resisting, and looked ashamed for his thoughts of Ivan. Ivan looked to the bandage on Gilbert's arm and stared. He then grabbed Gilbert's wrist and pulled him to his bed and made him sit. Gilbert squirmed in fear and tried to move but Ivan gripped his shoulder.

"Stay," he commanded and picked up the other's shirt. He helped Gilbert's arms into it and buttoned it up. His fingers toyed with the strings near the top, looking sad as he did. "I'm sorry, Gilbert," he said, walked away from him, and then sat in his chair again. "You can go to your room now."

Gilbert didn't hesitate and left the room. It left Ivan feeling alone and cold. He looked to the bottle of vodka and then opened it. Not bothering to fill a cup, he put the tip of the bottle to his lips and drank.

/

Gilbert hid under his blanket, curled up like a frightened child, which he really felt like in that moment. He couldn't stop clenching his upper arms, like he was scared that someone would take the shirt off of him. It lasted for hours, well into the evening, but he did not sleep. He was too nervous but he wouldn't admit that he was shaken up still. It wasn't like he was a coward. He'd kill anyone if they tried to hurt Ivan or himself, but that was the difference — he _had_  experience with fighting and people being rough with him. Ivan was showing him something entirely different, he wasn't only showing an interest in him physically, but he was being forceful about it. Gilbert was just thankful that Ivan didn't take it any further, the thought frightened him.

Just when he thought he was calming down, the door to his room opened and his heart slowed and beat harshly. He retracted his limbs as if doing so would protect him, and hoped that it was anyone except Ivan.

"Gilbert, I have your armor..." Ivan spoke and stood beside the bed. Gilbert looked like a bundled lump under the covers, not a single part of him was showing.

"I don't care! Get out!" Gilbert's muffled voice yelled as he curled up more.

Ivan sighed and sat beside Gilbert, feeling the albino twitch and squirm away. "If you won't be around me, then I'll just be around you." He paused, feeling guilty. "Besides... you're my knight, so I should be close to you, right?"

Gilbert didn't reply, but after a few seconds he peeked out from under the covers with his hair spikier than usual. "... why are you so forceful?" he asked and Ivan's eyes widened. "Why do you want me to do things that I don't want to do? Do you like scaring people?"

"No, Gilbert... I don't..."

"Then why do you do it?"

Ivan looked at Gilbert and saw pink eyes filled with the same look that everyone gave him — fear and confusion, but there was something else. A sense of sadness swirled around in them too.

"I'd rather not talk about it..." Ivan mumbled.

Gilbert could tell that the prince was sad, but he couldn't help himself from thinking he deserved that sadness, even just a little bit.

The Russian stood up and began to straighten out Gilbert's blanket. It confused the albino greatly but he didn't dare say anything against it. He was walking on thin ice as it was; he knew he had to tread lightly. Ivan then tucked the covers in around him, a sweet action that shocked him.

"Goodnight, Gilbert." Ivan's hand slowly stroked the albino's hair. "I'll see you in the morning."

As soon as the door closed and Gilbert was alone, he let a little smile take his lips but he wasn't sure why. He was still a bit scared of Ivan, but how he'd acted just then made him think he might actually be sweet and gentle, and that thought made it easier. He could almost still feel his hair being stroked, but it only lasted a few minutes until he remembered how demanding Ivan was, ordering him to strip his clothing off. Just remembering it made Gilbert feel sick. He hated how forceful Ivan was, and the man wouldn't even give him an explanation.

Gilbert knew that next time something like that happened he wouldn't be able to refuse again. He already tested Ivan more than he ever should have, so he'd just have to swallow not his pride, but his shyness and embarrassment. His pride had nothing to do with it anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks for reading!**  
>  If you like this fic, please let me know with a comment! It's what keeps us writers going!
> 
> Follow me on [**twitter**](https://twitter.com/squeakster_) for personal/fanfic updates!


	4. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted: August 22, 2014

After leaving Gilbert, Ivan stayed awake for hours just staring at the ceiling. His stomach felt like it had a knot in it and his heart was beating a bit quicker than normal. It was guilt and he knew it. He felt guilty for making Gilbert so frightened of him. Gilbert thought that he'd hurt him or try to assault him, which he had no intent of doing. He wasn't sure why Gilbert was so nervous about being nude, but it made Ivan extremely curious and want it even more. However, it would have to wait. First he wanted to make things up to Gilbert, even if only a little.

The next morning Ivan wandered to the gardens outside. He adored the many flowers that were in bloom, especially the sunflowers. They were always so big and bright. He touched a finger against a yellow petal and smiled at it. Suddenly the clopping of hooves caught his attention and he turned around. A guard was trotting through the garden on a horse with some sacks attached to his saddle. Ivan didn't care what the man was doing but seeing him gave him an idea and he paced quickly back inside. He found one of the servants and told them to have his and Gilbert's horse prepared in an hour by the gates. The servant nodded and promptly went about his business.

With a smile, Ivan made his way up to Gilbert's room with some excitement. The knight was still sound asleep when Ivan went to him, but he didn't care. Ivan enjoyed watching Gilbert sleep, even if the albino would think him creepy for doing so. When Gilbert started to wake up Ivan acted like he had been trying to wake him, and like he hadn't been standing there for nearly a half hour.

"Finally awake?" Ivan spoke. Gilbert sat up and rubbed at his eye. "Did you sleep okay?"

Gilbert yawned as he nodded. "Yeah. This bed is super soft." He bounced a little on it.

Ivan smiled. "I'm glad..." He paused and sat on the edge of the bed. "Gilbert, would you like to go for a ride this morning?"

"A ride?" Gilbert furrowed his brows.

"Mm-hm. I'll have our horses prepared for us while we have breakfast, and then we can go for a ride outside the castle. The fields just outside are beautiful to ride through. The sky stretches almost as far as the eye can see."

"But, is it really a good idea to be out when someone could be trying to kill you?" Gilbert asked.

Ivan smiled at him. "Do you have full confidence in your skills?"

Gilbert was silent for a moment, and then nodded.

"Then I have confidence that I'll be 100% safe." Ivan stood up. "Well, what do you say?"

Gilbert thought on it for a second before he nodded again. "Alright, I'm game."

"Great! We'll have breakfast and by time we're done our horses will be saddled and ready to go!"

/

Ivan dragged a sleepy Gilbert to the large dining room, not even letting him dress in his armor first. The wooden table looked like it could fit twenty people around it, and it was fully set with tons of food and drink. Ivan heard Gilbert's stomach rumble with hunger and it made him smile. He pulled Gilbert by the hand to a chair, pulled it out and told him to sit. Gilbert stared at him for a moment, glanced around, then finally sat. Ivan sat beside him and began to set his plate.

"So.... Master Ivan, where are we going riding?" Gilbert asked as he mimicked the prince.

"Behind the castle," Ivan answered. "There're little trails that weave all through the plains out there. It's so open and fresh, and beautiful."

Gilbert didn't respond in any way, but he couldn't stop a little smile from taking his lips. It was nice to see Ivan acting more... human, Gilbert thought. He was still wary of him from the previous day, but hopefully there was something about Ivan that Gilbert could grow to like.

"What about you, Sir Gilbert? Do you enjoy riding?" He started to eat.

Gilbert gave a weak nod. "I used to go with my brother all the time. We used to race, and whoever'd lose had to make the other dinner that night." He smiled as he ate.

"Do you miss him?"

"Who? My brother?" Gilbert looked at the prince. "Nah, not so much. I've spent my entire life with him."

"Isn't that more of a reason to miss him?" Ivan's words halted Gilbert in his tracks, with a piece of meat stabbed through with a fork just an inch from his lips. Slowly he put the fork down.

"I guess it is..." Gilbert mumbled. Never before had he felt homesick, not even remotely. Somehow Ivan managed to plant that seed in him and he felt his stomach turn. He began to long for those cold, gray corridors, and the less comfortable beds and clothing. It wasn't as nice as Ivan's home, but it was _his_  home.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Here—" Ivan grabbed Gilbert's fork and held his chin, making Gilbert open his mouth. The knight was about to speak but suddenly found the piece of meat shoved into his mouth. Ivan pulled the fork away with a happy smile.

"There." He handed the fork back to Gilbert, who was still a bit confused as to what just happened. "Eat up. I want you to have your strength."

Gilbert chewed the food, swallowed, and nodded.

After a while of eating, drinking, and listening to Gilbert speak of some old memories with his brother, Ivan stood up and looked at his knight.

"Ready?"

Gilbert finished with one last bite, and quickly chugged the last of his milk, finishing with an "ah~" and then stood up.

Ivan wiped at the corner of Gilbert's mouth with his thumb, brushing away some little bread crumbs. He smiled. "Shall we go?"

Gilbert cocked an eyebrow, but nodded. "I need to get my armor, and I'd like to use a bow and arrow if I'm on horseback."

"Very well. You go change and I'll meet you by the stables with your bow and the horses."

Gilbert once again gave a nod, and the two went their separate ways. Gilbert gathered up his leather armor and equipped it as quickly as he could. Once he pulled the last strap tight he glanced over to his white cloak that was hanging on a rack by itself. He gave it a good long stare before he turned on his heels and left his room. He didn't have to wear his cloak, not while in that castle. There he was Ivan's Knight, his personal protector. Not the Ghost of Bellmore and not a White Knight. Just Gilbert Beilschmidt. He told himself that he'd thank Ivan for giving him that sense a freedom, but it was likely that he wouldn't.

Ivan had been pacing back and forth in front of the stables waiting for his knight to arrive. When he heard the sound of footsteps he quickly turned to see Gilbert making a bee-line for him. He couldn't help but smile, for seeing Gilbert gave him a reason to. As the albino neared him, Ivan noticed something.

"You're not wearing your white cloak?" he inquired with a childishly curious look on his face.

The question caught Gilbert off guard. "Oh, well, um... cloaks are a pain to ride in, so I chose not to," he explained. It wasn't even a lie, he always hated the cloaks, they always slowed him down or got tangled.

"I see... well, whatever works for you." Ivan turned and grabbed the reins of Ivory, Gilbert's horse. "She's beautiful, she reminds me of you." He handed the leather reins to Gilbert.

Once again Ivan's words stumped Gilbert and he didn't know what to say. In a way, Ivan had indirectly called him beautiful, and while he always hated when people said such things, it was different when Ivan said it. It frustrated Gilbert that he didn't know why.

"Yeah she's—she's beautiful," Gilbert agreed. "She's also the fastest horse my king owned, and now she's mine." He pet Ivory's snout, making her wiggle her head and snort happily.

Ivan smiled. "My horse isn't fast, but he's strong." He stepped into the stables. When he came back out, Gilbert's eyes widened at the sight of the monster of a horse that followed. Ivan's horse was as black as midnight, big, and looked like it'd trample his own. Ivan stepped to Gilbert and handed him his bow and arrows.

"Does he have a name?" Gilbert asked as he attached the weapons to himself.

Ivan was checking his saddle, but stopped. "... no."

Gilbert raised a brow. "Why not?"

"He was my mother's horse," Ivan said, and then mounted the horse. "After she died, I stopped calling him by his name."

Gilbert watched as Ivan trotted away without him. He felt guilty, but he had no idea that the horse belonged to Ivan's mother. Quickly he climbed up onto Ivory and galloped to catch up with Ivan. He didn't say another word as they rode slowly out of the gates. Ivan led them to a small opening in the castle wall, guarded by a single guard, that went out into the fields. Gilbert hung back as they passed through, glancing around cautiously. He felt guilty still, but he couldn't let his emotions get the better of him, he was on duty again, and this time they were actually outside of the castle, technically even outside of the city. He couldn't afford to be distracted.

Staring at Ivan's back was slowly killing him. He felt like he had to apologize or at least say something. He gave a soft whip of the reins and trotted alongside Ivan. He stayed silent for a while, and Ivan could tell that he wanted to speak. The way he looked away when Ivan glanced at him, how he seemed to be waiting for an opening to speak – Ivan actually thought it was adorable, and wondered what it was that Gilbert wanted to say so badly that he was nervous just to say it.

"So, uh..." Gilbert's quiet voice finally sounded and Ivan turned his head to him. The albino seemed to be attempting to avoid eye-contact or even in the prince's direction. "I'm sorry about before."

"Before?" Ivan raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah... about your horse..."

"Oh... that's alright, Gilbert." Ivan looked back in front of him. His lip trembled a bit, much like Gilbert's did when trying to speak. "I'm... not very good at talking about my mother..."

Gilbert's eyes widened. "Then don't!" he panicked. "If you don't want to, that is." He chuckled nervously.

Ivan glanced to him. He felt like he should share something personal with Gilbert. Maybe it'd patch things up a bit between them.

"Can I trust you, Gilbert?"

Gilbert tilted his head. "Well you're trusting me with your life so I'd hope so."

Ivan gave a soft chuckle. "With my life, yes, but what about my feelings? Thoughts, secrets, and... other things like that?"

"You mean personal stuff?" Gilbert asked and received a small nod from the Russian. "I guess. It's not like I have anyone to tell your secrets to. I'm not the type to do that anyway."

"Good..." Ivan smiled. "Well... a few years ago, my mother was killed..."

Gilbert knew this already but he didn't say anything and instead just let Ivan talk.

"I used to get sick a lot as a child. I still do, but my mother would always be right there next to me, spoon-feeding me gross medicine and wrapping me in quilts she'd made... I loved my mother very much, so when she was taken from me, I lost a bit of myself and, things... changed..."

"Changed?" Gilbert inquired softly.

Ivan nodded. "My family became distant. My little sister locked herself in her room, the older one tried her best to keep us together, but our father barely had time for us. He started to act weird toward everyone, and only recently did he start to act a bit normal."

"Maybe he was just upset from losing his wife?"

"We were all upset about it, he shouldn't have shut us out."

Gilbert went quiet for a second. "Sometimes people think that no one could ever feel the same way they do, especially about losing a loved one."

Ivan looked to the albino to see a forlorn look. "What do you mean?"

"When my mother died, I didn't believe that my brother could ever feel the same way I did. I had more years with her after all, so how could he understand?" He smiled a little. "I didn't realize then that he was just as upset because he didn't get those years."

"I never thought about it like that..." Ivan mumbled. "You said you lost both your parents when you were young, right?"

Gilbert nodded. "I was about eight, Ludwig was barely a year old. They both went out for a hunt but got mauled by a bear. There was hardly any of them left to identify..." He felt like he was going to vomit.

"I'm sorry... let's talk about something else, yes?" Ivan forced a smile but couldn't break his gloomy mood. He glanced out toward the open fields. "You know... sometimes, I think about getting on my horse and just keep riding, and not looking back..."

"Why don't you?" Gilbert asked.

Ivan sighed. "I can't."

Gilbert noticed the sad look on Ivan's face, and blamed himself for that look. If he'd never brought up his horse in the first place they might be having fun instead of feeling so dreary. Gilbert wanted to fix what he broke, but he didn't know how or if he even could.

"Master Iv-- Whoa!" Gilbert yelled and stumbled back when something sped passed his head. His horse neighed in a panic and he tried to calm her.

"What happened? What was that?" Ivan asked, moving a little closer.

"Sounded like an arrow. Stay back." Gilbert narrowed his eyes and started to look around as he readied his bow. Just over a small hill to their left Gilbert spotted a man in dark hooded clothing. He saw a small shine; the man was aiming another arrow at them.

"Run! Get away from here!" Gilbert shouted at Ivan, who stammered a bit and whipped his reins. As Ivan went in the opposite direction another arrow flew passed Gilbert's head. It was too close; he could actually see the glimmer of the sun shining off the arrowhead. He gave a kick to Ivory's side and she galloped after the man, who then started to run off. Gilbert loaded an arrow but before he could shoot it he noticed that the man was making his way toward Ivan. Gilbert kicked again, gave a shout, and Ivory ran faster. Pulling back the string of his bow he squinted and concentrated on the attacker.

'Don't miss...' he told himself. He couldn't miss any of his shots, and if he landed the first, that was all he needed. He waited until Ivory was almost exactly behind the man, and then let his arrow fly. It shot from the bow and the string bounced, filling Gilbert's ear with a sharp whipping sound.

The arrow reached its target, hitting right where Gilbert wanted it to. The arrow pierced the man's calf, making him lose his balance and fall from his horse. He hit the ground and rolled a few feet as his horse ran off in fright. As Gilbert neared him, he began to fuss with the arrow in his leg, but it wouldn't budge. Gilbert hopped off of his horse and cautiously approached the man. Ivan soon came back around when he saw that the attacker was on the ground.

"Gilbert are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Listen I don't mean to order you around, but I want you to go back to the gate and get the guard to take him into custody. We haven't been riding that long so it shouldn't take long."

"Are you sure it's alright to leave you alone with him?"

Gilbert drew back another arrow and aimed it at the injured man on the ground. "I'll be fine. One wrong move and I'll put an arrow in his other leg."

Ivan nodded. "I'll be back soon." He turned his horse.

"Wait, one more thing," Gilbert started. "I want you to stay back at the castle. Just tell the guard where I'm at and go back to your room. I'll meet you there later."

The prince's eyes widened. He heard the commanding tone in Gilbert's voice, but it wasn't cruel or harsh like his father's had always been. It seemed that Gilbert actually cared.

"Right, okay." Ivan nodded and took off toward the castle.

Gilbert slowly approached the hooded man, keeping his fingers tight but ready to release the arrow at any moment. He studied his clothing, looking for anything that might be useful but the man was dressed in black from head to toe, with no emblem or sigil to indicate a group he belonged to. Maybe the dark cloaks where their signature. As he watched him closely the man began to crawl a little. Gilbert squinted his eyes on him, and then the man whipped out a small steel dagger and tried to cut him. Immediately Gilbert released his arrow into the other leg, and the man shouted out in pain and dropped his dagger. Gilbert went over to him and kicked the blade out of his reach.

The attacker looked up at him. "You... you're not one of his usual guards..." he panted out.

"No, I'm not." Gilbert aimed his arrow at the man's face. "I'm a White Knight from Bellmore. Name's Gilbert Beilschmidt, better known as Ghost." He grinned when he received a glare.

"I don't care about your name."

"You might if you have any friends who plan on attacking Prince Ivan. No one is going to hurt him while I'm still breathing."

The man scoffed. "Are all you White Knights this cocky?"

"No, just me, but I have a reason to be."

The sound of a galloping horse filled Gilbert's ears and he looked. A guard was heading toward them and soon was standing beside Gilbert.

"Good job, Sir Gilbert. I'll take him to the dungeons immediately." The guard began to tie the man's hands together and pulled the arrows out of the ground.

Gilbert still kept his arrow on the man's face until he was fully tied and ready to be transported. "Right. Then I'll trust you to handle him, I need to get back." Gilbert finally loosened his hold on the arrow, put it back in the quiver, and put the bow on his back.

"Wait, Sir Gilbert, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like for you to accompany me in bringing him into the dungeon, just to be safe."

Gilbert stared at the man for a few seconds, and then sighed. "All right."

The guard nodded and mounted his horse, and then Gilbert followed the guard back to the castle. The attacker didn't try to escape, which honestly surprised Gilbert. Usually his type would choose death over risking the chance of spilling information. Gilbert supposed that he'd be interrogated, and he hoped that they'd get some details from him.

"There," said the guard as he latched the iron shackle and chain around the prisoner's ankle. He then locked the cell door and turned to Gilbert. "Thank you for your help. We'll start questioning him later."

Gilbert watched the prisoner for a moment. "Okay, I'll get back to the prince then." He bowed his head slightly and turned to leave.

"Actually, Sir Gilbert, I'd like for you to come with me to see the king. He'll want to know what happened.

"Okay..." Gilbert confusedly agreed.

"Follow me." The guard beckoned with his hand and Gilbert followed him.

/

After hours upon hours of talking and discussing what to do with the prisoner, Gilbert was finally released and allowed to return to Ivan. It was late in the evening when he wandered around a bit, not yet familiar with the layout of the castle. Eventually he found his way back to the hall where Ivan's room was, and knocked on the door. Ivan called from inside to come in, and Gilbert stepped inside.

"Gilbert you're back!" Ivan jumped up from his chair, ran to greet the albino, and grabbed his hands. "What took you so long? I was worried!"

"Sorry," Gilbert apologized with a little smile. "The guard wanted me to help take the guy who attacked you to the dungeon, and then I had to go with him to see your father, who talked for hours before letting us go."

"My father? What did he want with you?"

"He just wanted my opinion on what we should do with the prisoner."

"And...?"

"I said we should interrogate him and see if he'll spill anything. I don't know how that turned into a few hour long conversation though."

"That's my father, always a talker." Ivan laughed nervously. "Anyway, I'm glad you're all right! ... you are all right, right?" he asked and then looked over Gilbert's body.

Gilbert chuckled a little. "I'm fine, really. Your attacker didn't give me anymore trouble after I stuck another arrow in his leg."

Ivan walked as he listened. "Aren't you a bad one!" He giggled as he locked the door with a special key, and then pulled Gilbert further into the room. "Take off your armor, we won't be leaving again since it's so late, so you don't need it."

Gilbert nodded and began to remove his weapons and armor. Ivan watched him intently. It seemed strange but Gilbert had a different air around him now. Ivan didn't realize how protective Gilbert was of him until he told him to run and stay back.

'He hit a moving target too...' he thought as Gilbert removed his vambraces. 'That's much more difficult than our contest yesterday...' The idea that Gilbert wasn't using his full skill during the contest intrigued him, but he ignored it for now.

"Gilbert," Ivan called out to him. "Thank you for protecting me."

Gilbert turned his head to Ivan after he pulled the armor over his head. He cocked an eyebrow and gave the prince a strange look. "You don't need to thank me, I was just doing my job."

"I know that... but I want to thank you," Ivan said.

Gilbert noticed a quiet tone in his voice. "You alright? You sound a bit shaken."

"A little... I've never had someone shoot an arrow at me... and I've never had someone defend me like that before..."

Gilbert thought he was seeing things when he saw a small blush on Ivan's cheeks. 'He's... embarrassed?' he wondered. "Well... I'm here to protect you from things like that. I'll give my life if I have to."

Ivan suddenly paced toward Gilbert, making him tense up, but was surprised when Ivan wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tight.

"Thank you, Gilbert. I'm glad I have you here."

Gilbert didn't move. He felt like he was frozen stiff. Ivan continued to hug him for over a minute before he finally pulled away.

"I'm sorry for hugging you like that. Not very princely of me, huh...?" He smiled crookedly.

Gilbert shook his head dazedly. "No, but... very human of you..."

Ivan's eyes widened, and Gilbert almost gasped when he saw the purple orbs glaze over with tears.

"Oh god, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry!" Gilbert frantically waved his hands in front of himself. 'What did I say that made him cry!?' he yelled at himself.

Ivan grabbed both of Gilbert's wrists, peeled his arms apart, and stepped closer. He pressed his body against Gilbert's, eventually dropping the thin wrists and tightening his arms around Gilbert's body.

"Thank you so much..." Ivan whispered. He sniffled quietly and nuzzled his nose into Gilbert's shoulder. Gilbert could feel Ivan's body shaking slightly. It was strange how Ivan cried so easily, but Gilbert found it comforting, like Ivan wasn't a complete stranger anymore.

Gilbert slowly wrapped his arms around the prince's body, trying to console him. The touch confused and shocked Ivan.

"Gilbert...?"

"Be quiet... just—stop crying..." the knight mumbled. He felt slightly embarrassed for his actions and words, but he retracted neither.

Ivan smiled a little and hugged tighter, resting his chin on Gilbert's shoulder. It felt nice to hug a person like this. Gilbert was so warm and he felt safe to be close to, like he'd never do anything to hurt him in any way. Ivan missed having that sort of comfort. He never got it from his father, and his sisters were hardly around. Gilbert was all he had and he was perfectly fine with that. Slowly, Ivan moved his face into the nook of Gilbert's neck. He breathed in heavily through his nose and took in Gilbert scent, loving the unique but indescribable fragrance that only he had.

When Ivan breathed out, his breath tickled the albino's skin, making the thin, pale hair on his neck stand on end and send a weak shiver through his body. His cheeks felt a little warm and he got a strange fluttering feeling in his stomach. The feeling made him a little uncomfortable but when he thought about pulling away, he couldn't. There was something keeping him still and it wasn't Ivan's arms, but the entire atmosphere. Ivan crying and then hugging him gave him a sense of companionship that he'd never had before, and the fact that it was with Ivan, a prince, made it that much stranger. He felt like he had actually gotten through to Ivan.

Ivan finally let go and smiled. He hopped up onto his bed and then snuggled under the covers. Gilbert gave a bow of his head and began to gather his armor to leave.

"Gilbert..." Ivan spoke quietly and the albino looked at him, "could you... maybe stay in here with me tonight? At least until I fall asleep?" he asked, pulling the blanket up over his cheeks to hide his embarrassed blush.

His knight gave him a long stare before smiling and sighing. "Sure." Gilbert went to a chair near Ivan's large bed and sat in it.

Ivan smiled under his covers. "Thank you," he mumbled and closed his eyes.

That was the last Gilbert heard him say. After a half hour, Gilbert was certain that Ivan had fallen asleep since he had begun to snore softly. He smiled at the prince and then wondered why he was smiling. He'd forgotten about the other day when Ivan tried to make him strip and how strange he acted, and instead he saw Ivan as a normal human being. It made staying by his side a little more tolerable, and it made him not want to leave even after Ivan fell asleep.

He stayed for another hour just watching and listening to Ivan's breathing and snoring. It was strange how mature the prince looked when unconscious. He seemed older and more serious, whereas awake he was childish and playful in an uncomfortable way. Gilbert liked the unconscious Ivan, or moreso how he looked. For the first time Gilbert saw how handsome Ivan was, and the thought made him blush as he gazed at the Russian's face. He never felt the attraction before since Ivan had always acted so strange and off-putting, but now that he was asleep Gilbert imagined what Ivan would be like if he was a strong, silent type, and it made his cheeks even warmer. After his thoughts fizzled out, he eventually leaned back and yawned. Before he knew it his eyes became heavy and sleep was creeping up on him. His body slid down in the chair when he fell asleep, and his head hung down in a position that would make his neck sore in the morning.

A few hours into the night, Ivan woke and saw Gilbert in the chair, asleep and dimly lit with the light of the half melted candle on the bedside table.

'He stayed...' Ivan smiled to himself, overjoyed with happiness by the fact.

There was a slight chill in the night, even Ivan felt it. He got out of bed and went to Gilbert with the intent of taking him to bed with him, but then realized that Gilbert would probably panic in the morning, especially since Ivan was a cuddly sleeper. With that thought in mind, he opted for just covering the albino with one of the many heavy quilts from his bed. He was doing better with Gilbert and he had to watch that he didn't mess up again.

For a second more he watched Gilbert and then gently stroked some of his hair. He leaned down and placed a light kiss on his head, said, "Goodnight," and then got back into bed. He smiled toward Gilbert one final time, and then blew out the candle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks for reading!**  
>  If you like this fic, please let me know with a comment! It's what keeps us writers going!
> 
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	5. No One Has to Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted August 25, 2014

Gilbert was slightly confused when he woke up to a darkened room, alone, with the sound of rain hitting the roof above him. He recognized immediately that it wasn't his room and that he was lying in Ivan's bed. He jolted up quickly and felt his neck cramp up. His armor had been removed and he was only wearing his underclothes. Rubbing at his neck he tried to remember what happened last night, and how he wound up in Ivan's bed. He remembered sitting in the chair, which he saw still by his side.

'Did I fall asleep in here?' he asked to himself, staring at the chair as if it'd give him an answer. He looked down to the bed. 'Why am I in his bed...?'

He thought the worst, of course, and wondered if Ivan had brought him into bed with him after he'd fallen asleep. The idea disgusted him. Lying next to another, especially since he didn't know about it. Before his mind went to what Ivan could have possibly done, the man himself entered the room. He stumbled as if he was surprised to see Gilbert awake.

"Oh, you're up," Ivan said with a smile and walked to the bedside.

"Why am I in your bed?" Gilbert asked. Ivan would have been offended by the suspicious tone in Gilbert's voice, but the albino's hair was sticking up so messily that he just couldn’t take him seriously.

"I put you there when I woke up this morning," Ivan answered. "You fell asleep in the chair, and that couldn't have been comfortable."

"Oh..."

"You thought I did something to you, didn't you?" Gilbert scoffed and looked away in guilt. Ivan sighed. "It's fine. I'm not surprised that you don't trust me..." Gilbert looked at him and noticed the forlorn look on the Russian's face. "But, I want to try making it up to you. I've prepared a nice breakfast for you, and well..." Ivan looked away. Gilbert tilted his head, curious why Ivan paused. "I planned for us to take a walk this morning, but it's raining now..."

"You wanted to go for a walk?"

Ivan nodded. "In the morning, dew is still on all the flowers in the garden, and the sun makes it glisten. It's very pretty, and I thought you'd like to walk and relax a bit, especially after yesterday..."

Gilbert gave a small, appreciative smile. "It's not like the guy wanted to kill _me_. And I did put two arrows in him."

"I know." Ivan smiled. "But still, you should relax after such a thing, right?"

Gilbert narrowed his eyes curiously. "Forgive me if I'm out of line, but... it sounds like you're the one who needs to relax. You still seem shaken up..."

Ivan knew he was caught, though he figured he wasn't very good at hiding it. He sat on the edge of the bed. "I guess I just never believed that anyone would actually _try_  to kill me. I mean, I sent a letter to your king because my father wanted me to. I thought he was just being paranoid, but now that someone actually attacked..."

"You're scared," Gilbert stated and Ivan looked at him with wide eyes. Gilbert then smiled smugly. "Don't worry! That's why I'm here, remember? To keep bastards like that from harming you!"

Ivan smiled ever-so-slightly. "Yes... that's why you're here." There was a tone in his voice that made Gilbert question his words, but he didn't voice it. Ivan quickly stood up. "Well, shall we go to breakfast now?"

Gilbert nodded and got out of the bed.

"There are some little slip-on shoes for you by the door." Ivan smiled at his knight.

"Shouldn't I change into my armor first?"

"No that's all right, you don't have to. We're just going to breakfast."

Gilbert nodded, slipped his feet into the shoes, which were just a tad too big, and then followed Ivan out of the room.

/

The room smelled delicious and Gilbert's stomach rumbled as soon as he entered, and Ivan could have sworn that he saw pink eyes sparkle. The sound made Ivan smile, finding something adorable about Gilbert being so hungry and excited about food. The breakfast consisted of eggs, meat, and bread, and there was a kettle of hot water over a small fire for tea. Gilbert looked to Ivan, who tilted his head to tell Gilbert to sit. As Gilbert did, Ivan closed the door and then joined him. The sun was still rising and cast a soft, warm glow into the small room but there was still something unnerving in the air. Gilbert eyed Ivan as he ate slowly, watching the prince happily eat. Gilbert wasn't stupid; he could see that Ivan was trying to act like nothing happened. However, Gilbert wouldn't forget something as humiliating as Ivan ordering him to strip. It put him on edge and made him wonder what Ivan would want him to do next.

With the attack from yesterday, Ivan seemed disoriented. Gilbert knew that he wanted to hide it. After all, what kind of prince fears that sort of thing, especially when surrounded by guards? Gilbert wondered if Ivan really trusted him or not. Though in the end he knew that it didn't matter, Gilbert knew he was good and could protect a frightened prince. He had the skills and the training. What he wasn't prepared for was the strange form of affection that Ivan clearly had for him. It made him nervous, but at least Ivan was trying to recover some ground with him.

Nervous violet eyes shifted to see the albino next to him. He watched as Gilbert put a piece of egg into his mouth. Ivan wanted to speak, but he didn't know what to say. He wanted to start building up their friendship again.

"... Did you sleep well last night?" He went for the small talk first.

The question made Gilbert look at the prince. "My neck hurts from sitting in the chair, and then I woke up in your bed." His tone was a little harsh, and he went back to eating.

Ivan realized that he'd just taken a step back rather than forward. "Right, I'm sorry about that... I just didn't want you to be uncomfortable..."

"You put me in your _bed_."

"But I wasn't _in_  the bed with you!" Ivan's voice rose slightly and it caught Gilbert's attention. His own outburst embarrassed him and he blushed, hiding his face in his scarf once again. "I'm sorry. I just—never mind." He turned away from Gilbert and tried to move on by shoving food into his mouth. It didn't work and Gilbert sighed heavily.

"If you're trying to make up for what you did, saying 'never mind' isn't a good start," Gilbert said and chewed on a piece of meat. Ivan looked at him in surprise. "You have to talk about these kinds of things, y'know? Or else people around you won't know what you want."

Ivan hesitated. "So... you want me to talk...?"

Gilbert nodded. "That's the only way I'll know what you're thinking."

"Okay... well I... I was trying to do a nice thing for you... you were all bent over in the chair and I knew your neck would hurt when you woke up, so I put you in my bed to try to help... but it just made you uncomfortable and not trust me."

"I don't distrust you because you put me in a bed. I distrust you because you tried to make me strip after two days of knowing each other." Gilbert raised his eyebrow.

Ivan blushed. "I'm sorry... you're just very pretty, I wanted to see the rest of you..."

The comment stumped Gilbert, somehow he was even offended. "I'm not _just_  pretty, all right? I'm a knight. I do things like... like fight, and protect... and—other stuff." He rubbed at his sore neck.

"You're still very pretty though." Ivan smiled a bit. "A pretty and capable knight who saved my life... thank you."

"I told you before, you don't have to thank me. It's my job to keep someone from shooting you with arrows, remember?"

Ivan chuckled. "Yes, that's right."

The two ate for a while longer in silence with only the rain as the soundtrack to their meal. It managed to calm them both and strangely it felt like they had taken a small step forward. Gilbert told Ivan exactly what he needed to be told. He always kept things inside or brushed things off, but Gilbert wanted him to talk about it, to share how he felt and tell him what he wanted. He couldn't tell him _everything_  he wanted though, since one of those many things was to see Gilbert naked. He wanted to kiss him, wanted to hear what Gilbert's erratic, aroused breathing sounded like, what his little moans would sound like, and see how Gilbert moved when his body felt pleasure. It filled Ivan with excitement, made him giddy, and just a little bit turned on.

"So uh..." Gilbert started, "I slept good."

Ivan raised an eyebrow.

"Your bed is really soft." He felt embarrassed by his words and quickly shook his head. "Well actually all the beds are soft, compared to the ones back home."

Ivan then realized that Gilbert was answering his earlier question, and he smiled with appreciation. "Really?"

Gilbert nodded. "I told you before that knights don't eat as well as this everyday. Well, we also get shitty clothing and hard beds. Except for our armor. The armor's good."

Ivan chuckled. "You knights really aren't treated all that well, are you?"

"I guess." Gilbert shrugged. "We're treated better than regular citizens, but we're mostly seen as tools for kings and lords to order around and kill things."

Ivan narrowed his eyes in irritation. He didn't like the idea at all. In his kingdom, knights were treated almost as well as lords. They were given good housing and ate well everyday. "Well, if it were up to me, I'd have you by my side all the time. I'd make sure you were treated well and had the best of everything." He smiled.

Gilbert chuckled and brushed Ivan's words off. He didn't want to indulge himself in any fantasies since he'd have to leave eventually. Though he had to admit that the cozy lifestyle sounded nice.

Ivan giggled. "In fact, I like you so much that I might want to keep you!"

"Keep?" Gilbert's face dropped.

"Yeah! I could pay your king anything he would ask for to have you permanently transferred here!"

"Hey! I'm not just a thing you can buy!" Gilbert growled angrily. "Why would you pay to have me anyway?"

Ivan smiled. "Why, for just that reason. To have you."

Gilbert rolled his eyes and smushed his face into his palm. 'He's annoying...' He picked at some of the leftovers on his plate and ate them.

Knowing that he made Gilbert uncomfortable once again, Ivan felt that same guilt fill his stomach. "Gilbert I'm... I'm sorry. Again." He gave a little smile in hope it'd win Gilbert over.

Which it didn't. Gilbert stared at him in disbelief before letting out a heavy, exhausted sigh. "Yeah, whatever."

Ivan leaned back in his chair. Hoping that the awkward air would fade out, but it didn't. However, Gilbert suddenly spoke and it caught Ivan off guard.

"Hey... do you still want to go for that walk?" Gilbert asked, sounding shy and reluctant like his pride was suffering just from asking.

"But it's still raining...?"

"So? It's just water," he said. He figured that Ivan needed some help with the whole 'being open' thing, so he'd probably have to make the bonding moments happen himself.

Ivan smiled, touched by Gilbert's words. "Yes, of course. I'd love to." He absolutely adored that Gilbert brought it up. It made him think that maybe Gilbert didn't hate him after all.

/

Before stepping outside the two dressed and put on thick fur cloaks to keep them warm and dry. The rainfall wasn't heavy, with only a few dark clouds in the sky that the sun still penetrated, shining its warm rays down onto the earth. Ivan led Gilbert down the stone path between rows of flowers, not able to resist glancing to him every few steps. He loved how Gilbert looked dressed in fur, with the hood up and hugging around his pale face. It seemed more natural on him. He liked the shiny knight look with the fancy armor and white cape too, but the fur made him look like he belonged there with Ivan.

"So you're called a 'White Knight,' correct?" Ivan asked, deciding to start another conversation. He received a nod. "Why is that? Are they all pure white like you?" He held back a giggle.

"No, that's..." Gilbert paused and halted in his tracks, making Ivan stop as well. "I'm the only one who looks like this. The Order was formed alongside the church in Bellmore a long time ago. White tends to show up a lot in church related things and represents peace, honor, loyalty. Pretty much everything good."

"So you are close with the church then?"

"A bit. Like I said before, I'm not a member of the church, or a monk like some of the other knights."

"I see..." Ivan grinned to himself. "Well, White Knight, you'll be perfectly safe here. Granted you keep me safe." He smiled.

Gilbert was a little confused by Ivan's words but chose to ignore them. After a few more minutes of walking they came to an area filled with sunflowers. Gilbert stopped by one and looked at it. There were little droplets of rainwater stuck on the yellow petals.

"They're pretty, aren't they?" Ivan asked. Gilbert turned to him but didn't say anything. "Sunflowers are my favorite. That's why there's so many of them."

Gilbert looked back at the flower and began to wonder why Ivan liked them so much. It wasn't a very princely thing to like flowers, but Gilbert couldn't really judge him since he also liked them. He'd be a laughingstock of his Order if they had any idea.

"Would you like one?" Ivan asked, noticing how Gilbert was looking at the sunflower.

"What?"

"You can pick it if you want."

Gilbert shook his head. "No, it'd die if I picked it." He smiled a little and then looked at Ivan. It surprised him to see the bright blush and stunned look on Ivan's face, his eyes wide and lips parted just a centimeter. "Master Ivan...?"

The prince snapped out of it and looked embarrassed as he shifted his eyes down to the wet stones below him. "Nothing... you just sounded very cute..." he admitted. Gilbert didn't want him keeping secrets, so he figured he'd tell.

Gilbert was a little flattered by the comment, but Ivan's shyness is what really shocked him. The flustered way that he reacted made Gilbert flustered in reaction as well, and both stood there in silence for a few seconds, asking themselves what to say or do.

Ivan rubbed at his neck. "Sorry. You wanted me to share how I felt, so..."

"Forget it, it's fine. I'm not...angry, or anything." Gilbert crossed his arms over his chest under the heavy fur cloak.

"You're not...?"

"No. People call me pretty all the time." He blushed ever-so-slightly. "But 'cute' is a new one."

Ivan smiled. "Do you like being called cute?"

Gilbert thought about it for a moment. "I'm not sure. You're the one saying it, so I'm not sure how to take it."

"I see. You are very cute though." Gilbert looked at him curiously. "Like a little kitten. A feisty kitten who has sharp claws and can tear anyone apart." He chuckled. "If I rub your belly, will you purr?"

Gilbert flattened his eyes in annoyance. "No, but I might claw up your face."

Ivan laughed again. "See? _Feisty_."

Gilbert rolled his eyes and looked back at the sunflower.

"It's starting to rain more," Ivan said as he looked up at the sky, feeling heavier beads of water hit his face. "Say, I have an idea."

"This a, 'Gilbert's a cat,' or, 'Let's have an archery contest' kind of idea?" Gilbert spoke sarcastically, yet there was a very faint tone of playfulness in his voice.

Ivan grinned a little. "You really _are_  feisty, aren't you? No, this idea is... a little different. I was going to suggest, since it's raining and we can't do much else, we could have a friendly game of poker."

"Poker?"

Ivan nodded. "We can play for a while, get to know each other better, and there won't—"

"Lord Ivan! Sir Gilbert!" A guard came running down the path toward them. "Forgive me for interrupting, but the king has requested to see both of you in the main hall."

"For what reason?" Ivan asked, and Gilbert looked at him.

"It's regarding the prisoner who we captured yesterday."

"Who _Gilbert_  captured, you mean." Ivan smiled creepily and Gilbert could see the guard stiffen.

"R-Right, forgive me."

Ivan sighed and glanced to Gilbert. "Let's go see what father wants." He smiled. Gilbert nodded and then followed Ivan. As they walked toward the castle Gilbert turned to look back at the guard. The man was standing there watching them, and Gilbert could have sworn that he saw a tiny smile on his lips.

/

"There you are," said the king. "Where have you been?"

"I was out walking with Sir Gilbert." Ivan smiled.

The king looked to the knight beside his son. "Yes... well... he seems awfully close." He eyed Gilbert. Gilbert saw the look and took a step to the side, and the king smiled. "Anyway. We have some bad news. That man your knight shot full of holes is gone."

Ivan blinked. "Gone?"

"Gone." The king sighed. "The guard who was watching him last night is also dead." Gilbert's eyes widened. "One of the others found him with his throat cut open."

"Do we have any idea of who did it?" Ivan asked.

The room was silent, and all eyes were on Gilbert. Ivan took notice to it.

"No. Gilbert couldn't have done it."

Nikolai wasn't convinced. "Why not? Rosenthal might want us out of the picture, and what better way to hit us than to send his best stealth killer?"

"But Gilbert was with me all night," Ivan stated.

There were a few gasps along the back wall among some servants.

"What do you mean?"

Ivan knew that his father would be disappointed in him but he didn't care. "After the attack yesterday I felt a bit scared, so I had Gilbert stay in my room."

"And you're sure he didn't leave?"

"Yes. I locked my door with a key that only I have. Gilbert would have had to dig through my pocket to get it, which would have woken me up."

"If you're certain, then I suppose he's clear of suspicion." Nikolai turned to a guard next to him. "Keep looking for clues, and have the guards in town be on full alert." He then lowered his voice. "And keep an eye on the Ghost..." The guard nodded. Both Ivan and Gilbert gave suspicious looks to the king, but neither questioned it.

"Sir Gilbert." Nikolai called him and beckoned him with a hand. Gilbert stepped forward and knelt to the ground in respect. "The guard who Ivan sent back for you said that the prisoner had two arrows in his legs. Was that your doing?"

"It was."

"And how many arrows did you shoot all together?"

"Just those two, my Lord."

Nikolai smiled and leaned crookedly in his throne. "Ivan told me that you were a good archer, but to think that you could pierce a man's leg on horseback like that... well, you certainly live up to your name. I thank you, knight, for protecting my son."

"Thank you, my Lord."

Gilbert stood to his feet again and returned to Ivan's side. Ivan gave him a smile but it wasn't real. He knew his father wasn't a man who threw around compliments and gratitude so freely like that. He knew Nikolai didn't trust Gilbert, and neither did several of the others in the room.

"You can all leave." The king shooed everyone away.

/

Gilbert stayed behind Ivan as the prince paced in a hurry through the halls. He could tell that there was something wrong and Ivan just wasn't saying anything.

"Master Ivan?" Gilbert finally called out to him and Ivan turned around quickly, startling Gilbert a little. "Sorry. It's probably not any of my business, but you seem tense."

"I am," Ivan stated. "My father doesn't trust you. He thinks you set the prisoner free even though I told him that you were with me."

Gilbert shrugged. "People tend not to trust me. It's not a big deal."

"You could hang if he gets suspicious enough. Even if he just dislikes you, he could have you hanged."

"People tend not to like me either." Gilbert sighed. "Listen, I haven't done anything wrong. He can't kill me with no evidence or confession, and plus I'm apparently the only knight around who's capable of protecting his son."

Ivan stared at him, and then smiled. "I suppose you're right. Well, now that that's all done, shall we go play some poker?" he asked.

Gilbert clammed up and looked evasive.

"No betting, I promise. And this time the loser _doesn't_  have to strip." He couldn't help but smile teasingly.

The knight turned a bit red in embarrassment and crossed his arms with an annoyed huff. "Fine."

"Great!" Ivan exclaimed, grabbed Gilbert's arm, and pulled him to a small room filled with bookcases, a small round table, and two cushioned chairs on opposite sides of it. Ivan rummaged through a wooden dresser to find some cards and playing chips, while Gilbert worked on removing the heavy cloak from his shoulders. Ivan sat in one of the chairs and watched Gilbert. When the fur cloak came off, Gilbert shivered.

"Cold?"

"A little," Gilbert answered, hanging the cloak over the back of his chair and then sat in it.

"I can make a fire if you'd like?"

"No that's all right." Gilbert paused. "But thank you."

Ivan smiled as he shuffled the cards. He liked spending time with Gilbert. There was a certain warmth and glow from him that was rare in his world. The people in the city were dark, rough, and hardy, but Gilbert's spirit was bright. He was pretty but deadly, and while not as strong as some, his willpower, loyalty, and skill with a bow made up for his lack of physical strength. Ivan preferred his company over anyone else, and wanted to know more about him. He wanted to experience everything his White Knight had.

"Do you know how to play, Gilbert?"

"It's been a while, but yeah, I used to play with the other knights."

"Did you lose often?"

"Hah! They wish! I always beat them!" Gilbert boasted.

His words made Ivan smile as he dealt the cards. "I see, well, let's see if you still have your poker skills."

Gilbert picked up his cards. "I might be a bit rusty."

"Well nothing's at stake here. We're just having fun." Ivan put in an ante, followed by Gilbert, and then laid out three more cards. Gilbert sucked in some air but it didn't go unnoticed by Ivan.

"Check," Gilbert said and looked to Ivan, who tapped his knuckles on the table twice, and then laid out another card. "Check," he said again, but Ivan put in a chip worth a silver coin. Gilbert hesitated.

'Why am I thinking about this?' he asked, one of his fingers danced on the stack of silver coins Ivan had given him to play. 'We're not actually playing for money, but...' He picked up a coin and placed it next to Ivan's in the center of the table.

"I'm in."

Ivan smiled and put down another card. After another bet and another call, the hand ended and Ivan laid out his cards in front of him.

"Flush," he said. He knew he'd won the hand from the way Gilbert's lips curved down into a small frown.

Gilbert sighed, closing his eyes, and slid his cards onto the table face down. "All right, you won."

Ivan collected his coins. "Want to play another hand?"

"Sure. I've got nothing to lose." Gilbert folded his arms on the table, giving a small smile that lit Ivan's heart and made him blush.

"It's a good thing we didn't make any bets. You'd be half naked by now." Ivan smiled under his scarf as he dealt another hand.

"True. I already owe you." Gilbert forced a chuckle.

Ivan stopped dealing. "What do you mean?"

Gilbert regretted his words and looked away. "I guess I just... hate not keeping my word, y'know? I mean. I was so confident before that I'd win the archery thing, and then I lost and didn't even own up to the punishment."

"But Gilbert, I was asking you to get naked. It's an unreasonable punishment, you said so yourself."

"Well if I won you would have stripped with no problem, right?

Ivan shifted his eyes away.

"I mean, you stripped the morning I woke you up. So it's... not a big deal, right?"

"Gilbert, it's all right, really."

"No!" Gilbert stood up. "I owe you a... uh, a naked me, so I'm going to deliver!"

Removing his shirt and pants was surprisingly easy. Gilbert was in that 'I don't care!' state and it didn't bother him. However, when he reached for his undershorts, his entire body froze up. Ivan had been pleased up until then, but he still felt like it was wrong for Gilbert to be stripping for him. Still, he couldn't help but admire the albino's body.

"Gilbert you don't have to do this..." he spoke dazedly as he gazed at Gilbert's thin but toned legs.

"Yes! Yes I do!"

Ivan stood up and slowly went toward Gilbert, making him back up a few steps until he nearly tripped over the loveseat to his side. Ivan stopped in front of the smaller male and pink eyes locked with his own.

"For a knight you sure are jumpy and shy."

Gilbert blushed. "Well... I'm not used to people getting close to me. This isn't something I trained for."

Ivan covered a chuckle with his hand. "You're adorable, you know that?" He gently stroked through white hair, but Gilbert moved just enough so that his hand wouldn't touch him. It saddened him and he sighed.

"Do you still think I'm going to hurt you or something?" he asked.

Gilbert shifted his eyes away in shame.

"Gilbert... I think you're beautiful, strong, and loyal. I think you're very attractive, I won't lie, but I like my lovers to consent and want the love I give them." He took a few steps back and held up his hands like he was surrendering. "I won't touch you unless you want me to, but I can't help but wonder if you blushing so much means anything."

Gilbert kept his eyes away. "I've just never been in such an embarrassing situation before. I'm used to people trying to kill me or being rude to me, but you're not doing either..."

Ivan smiled. "You don't know how to deal with this situation because you've never had any experience, right?" Gilbert nodded weakly. 'I've got a plan.' Ivan grinned to himself. "Well then. Why don't I teach you?"

Gilbert looked at him. "Teach me?"

Ivan's grin widened. "Yeah. I could be your 'training' and teach you how to react and deal with intimacy."

A soft blush colored Gilbert's cheeks. "No! Out of the question!"

"Awh why?" Ivan whined.

"It's—it's weird! And uncomfortable!"

"That's why I said I'd teach you to get used to it so it won't be uncomfortable," Ivan said. "I promise not to do anything too extreme."

Gilbert crossed his arms. "What... what did you have in mind then?"

Ivan hummed softly and scanned up and down Gilbert's body. "Your sides. Can I touch your sides?"

Gilbert quickly wrapped his arms around his stomach. "No you cannot!"

Ivan laughed softly with amusement. "Then..." His eyes went up further. "What about your face?"

"My face?" the albino blinked curiously.

Ivan reached a hand out and cupped Gilbert's cheek. "I'll start here and work my way to each part of your body, okay?" Gilbert turned his head away but Ivan pulled him back. " _Okay?_ "

"No, I... it doesn't feel right..."

"Why not?"

"We just met! You're a prince! I'm a knight! I'll be in trouble if it gets out that I let you touch me—!" Ivan covered his mouth.

"Shh, it's alright." He moved his hand to Gilbert's hair. "Do you really not want me to touch you, or are you just scared that others will find out?" he asked.

Gilbert blushed and looked away.

"Gilbert." He made him look at him. "Answer me."

"Both." Gilbert's voice was small.

The answer wasn't what Ivan expected. He sighed. "I see... so you don't like me then."

"No! That's—! That's not what I said!" Gilbert grabbed Ivan's wrist. "You come on too strong! You wanted me to strip practically as soon as we met, remember!? You... you said you like your lovers to consent, right!? So then... stop trying to make me do things I don't want to do!"

Ivan's eyes widened. He pondered Gilbert's words for a moment and then took a step back. "All right... so then what do you want to do?"

"I... don't know..."

Ivan smiled and rubbed Gilbert's head gently. "Well, you just let me know when you figure it out, okay?"

"I—" Gilbert bit his lip and watched Ivan walk back toward the seats. "Wait! Okay we can— you... start with something small."

Ivan raised an eyebrow. "Like...?"

"Like... a kiss? I guess?"

Ivan turned a light pink. "A kiss?" Gilbert nodded. "A kiss on the lips? Not the cheek?" Gilbert nodded again. Ivan went to him and took his hands into his. Carefully and slowly as to not scare Gilbert he pulled him to the loveseat to their side. Sitting down, Ivan scooted closer only to have Gilbert shy away from him.

"Are you alright?" Ivan asked.

"I feel weird being almost naked, and I'm freezing." He blushed a little as he used his hands to cover his nipples, which were hardening from the cold. Ivan chuckled, removed his fur cloak, and laid it over Gilbert's body. Instead of proceeding with the kiss, Ivan moved closer, wrapped an arm around the albino, and held onto his shoulder.

"We'll stay like this for a while, and then I'll kiss you. Is that okay?"

Gilbert pouted a little, having hoped to just get it over with quickly. Ivan pulled him closer and gripped his chin with his free hand.

"Or do you want it now?" His words made the pink on Gilbert's cheeks turn bright red. Ivan leaned down and touched their noses. "You're blushing so much. It's hard to resist kissing you when you're so cute."

Gilbert grimaced and made a soft grunting noise. "Then do it! What are you waiting for? Jeez, you keep stalling. I think you're—" Ivan gripped his chin and pulled him into a firm kiss, closing his violet eyes. Gilbert's, however, shot open wide, stunned. After a few seconds Ivan pulled back.

"That... okay..." Gilbert mumbled incoherently as if in shock.

Ivan smiled and leaned in for another kiss but suddenly found both of Gilbert's hands clasped over his mouth, causing the cloak to fall down and reveal his chest.

"Whoa hold on there!" Gilbert shouted. "What do you think you're doing!?"

Ivan blinked widely and in confusion. "Kissing you?" he answered in a muffled voice behind the hands.

"Kissing me..." Gilbert repeated. There was a part of him that couldn't believe it. He'd just been kissed by Ivan. A prince. Another man. It both scared him and made him... happy.

Ivan gently pulled Gilbert's hands away. "May I kiss you again? I liked it a lot." He blushed cutely.

Gilbert retracted his limbs and looked shy. "I guess..."

The prince reconnected their lips. The second kiss was more passionate, like the first unlocked something in Ivan. Even he had been a tad bit nervous to kiss Gilbert before, but after feeling those soft, pink lips against his own, he wanted more and more. He caressed them slowly, feeling every bit of them as Gilbert's eyes slid shut. Ivan didn't want to close his own; he wanted to see Gilbert's beautiful expression as he kissed him. Ivan pursed his lips a little, and then pulled back to make a wet popping sound. The second kiss definitely took Gilbert's breath away; he was panting slightly and still looked stunned and embarrassed. Ivan smiled and felt like he was going to cry because of how cute Gilbert looked.

Ivan wanted to try something. He slowly moved his hand onto Gilbert's chest, feeling Gilbert twitch slightly. He placed it over Gilbert's heart to feel it beating quickly.

"You're scared?" he asked.

Gilbert shook his head. "A little nervous. This is all new to me..."

"Well, I promised that you'd be safe with me." He rubbed his hand against Gilbert's chest. "You have nothing to fear. I won't hurt you. I don't want to hurt anyone."

"... what do you want?"

Ivan's expression turned sad. "Someone. A friend. A lover." He traced circles on Gilbert's skin as he spoke. "Just...someone who will let me hug them, maybe kiss them..."

Gilbert was a bit stunned. He forced his pride and discomfort aside again and scooted himself a bit closer. His hand gripped onto Ivan's shirt.

"Fine. I'll hug you. Again."

Ivan's eyes teared up almost before Gilbert even finished speaking. "Really?"

"Yeah... I might even let you kiss me more."

Ivan suddenly hugged around Gilbert, knocking him over and falling on top of the smaller male.

"H-Hey you're—you're crushing me," Gilbert wheezed out. Ivan shifted his body and inadvertently slipped between Gilbert's legs, making him blush dark, but Gilbert couldn't bring himself to push Ivan off. He could hear Ivan sniffling quietly near his neck, and when he thought about how Ivan must feel, the fact that he was between his legs didn't bother him as much. It wasn't a big deal. Ivan wasn't doing anything wrong, he was just happy.

'How lonely must he be here...?' Gilbert wondered. He sighed and gently pet Ivan's hair. The gesture comforted and pleased Ivan, and he made a soft groaning sound like how a cat purrs when it’s happy. It made Gilbert smile just a little bit, but he couldn't help thinking,

'What have I gotten myself into?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks for reading!**  
>  If you like this fic, please let me know with a comment! It's what keeps us writers going!
> 
> Follow me on [**twitter**](https://twitter.com/squeakster_) for personal/fanfic updates!


	6. Blueberry Bread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted September 15, 2014

Everyday it bothered Gilbert, even if it ended quickly and nothing more ever came of it, it bothered him that every morning Ivan would greet him with a kiss on the lips. Not because it was gross or he thought it was wrong, but because after a week of being greeted with such soft, sweet kisses, he actually started to _like_  being kissed. As much as he hated it and thought it was wrong for many reasons, he was beginning to become even more attracted to Ivan than he already was.

Each morning he'd act distant to try to make Ivan not kiss him, but it only seemed to make the prince more eager to do so, like it was a challenge to make Gilbert feel better, and Gilbert hated that it was working. Every night he'd lie awake in bed, staring at the ceiling and letting his mind wander to things that he'd get in trouble for if anyone knew about them.

Ivan was a good kisser, and that fact lead Gilbert to wonder what else Ivan was good at. He remembered Ivan speaking about his lovers, and he started to wonder just what being Ivan's lover meant. He always forced himself to stop thinking when his mind created images of Ivan doing something naughty to him. Of course, in his mind, the most naughty thing he could imagine was Ivan touching his stomach, maybe a little lower. Gilbert wasn't exactly a dirty-minded person. Romance and intimacy were foreign to him, but they were things that he was growing increasingly more interested in.

/

Once again, Gilbert stood by Ivan's door, dressed in his armor, standing up straight and proud. On the outside he appeared calm and collected, but inside he was panicking and constantly wondering when Ivan was going to kiss him again.

Ivan opened the curtains of his window and a beam of sunlight entered the room. "Ah! It's nice out!" he exclaimed and then turned his head to Gilbert with a bright smile on his lips.

Seeing Ivan so happy made Gilbert embarrassed. The prince was cute when he acted so excited about silly things, and Gilbert hated that he thought so.

"We should go out today," Ivan said as he looked through his dresser for clothing. "It's been raining and storming so much the last week that we haven't been able to go anywhere. Would you like to?"

"Uh... sure," Gilbert answered.

Ivan smiled at him. "I'm going to get naked," he stated and Gilbert twitched and turned around. 'He's so cute!' Ivan thought and then lifted his shirt. Before he removed his pants, a question entered his mind.

"Sir Gilbert... have you ever seen another person naked?"

Gilbert blushed. "Of course I have!"

Ivan chuckled. "Lying to royalty is punishable, you know. You could lose your tongue," he teased.

"Okay fine! I haven't! What's the big deal!?"

"Nothing..." Ivan proceeded to dress. "You're just so shy. It's cute, but I'd like to get closer to you."

"Well you can get closer to me with your clothes on!" Gilbert shouted.

Ivan finished dressing and stepped over to stand behind Gilbert. "I'm starting to think that you _want_  to be punished," he insinuated with a darker tone.

Gilbert swiftly turned around to face the prince, who was a little too close for comfort. "What?"

"You're lying to me, yelling at me, defying me. For someone so shy, you sure are gutsy."

"I stand up for myself, that's it."

"Yes, you do. Though... I'd like for you to try doing things that you want to do."

Gilbert looked stunned. "What...? What are you talking about?"

A smile crept onto Ivan's lips. "Nothing, we don't have to talk about that right now." Gilbert's expression turned annoyed, now more curious than he was before. "Let's go take our baths and then we'll go into town."

"Bath?" The knight took a step backward.

Ivan almost burst out laughing. "Not together, silly! Though that'd be something." He grinned and put a finger to his lips, appearing innocent but mischievous.

Gilbert scoffed and crossed his arms. "Good luck getting me in with you."

"Oh I could just order you to, but that wouldn't be fun," Ivan said. "Now... I believe I owe you a kiss." He smiled cutely and put a hand on Gilbert's shoulder, but the albino jerked away.

"Gilbert?" Ivan questioned.

"I... I don't want you to." Purple eyes widened. "It's weird... and I don't understand why you're doing it."

"You don't understand?" Ivan was confused. "Where you come from, don't people kiss people that they like?" he asked.

"Yeah, they do. What's your—" He stopped and blushed. "Oh..."

"I like you a lot, Gilbert, so I want to kiss you."

"So then... these kisses aren't greetings?" Gilbert asked.

"No, they are. Unless... you want them to be more?"

"No! No I don't!" Gilbert forced a nervous laugh. "Greetings are fine, really!"

Ivan cracked a smile. "Go take your bath, and then meet me downstairs by the main entrance. I have a surprise for you." He grinned.

/

Ivan lay back in the tub, surrounded by warm water. He couldn't get Gilbert out of his mind. The way Gilbert shyly allowed himself to be kissed could almost drive Ivan crazy. It'd been so long since someone affected Ivan in such a way. He wished he could kissed Gilbert all over, feed him berries, and make love to him. He wanted it badly, but Gilbert, as far as Ivan knew, didn't return any of his feelings. Gilbert was dealing with his situation, and letting Ivan kiss him simply because it was part of his orders. Part of Ivan hated that, because it meant he could do anything and Gilbert couldn't refuse. None of it was real.

The more he thought about Gilbert willingly going to bed with him, the quicker his heart beat. He tried to get the images of a naked Gilbert out of his head, but it was hard since he didn't really want them to get them out. He dunked his head under the water, washed his arms and body, and he still could only think of Gilbert writhing under him, peppering his pretty white skin with light kisses as a hand stroked his cock. The thoughts went straight to his groin and he felt a feeling there that he hadn't in a while. It embarrassed him, showing a bright pink blush on his cheeks. He had to wonder what it'd feel like to be intimate with Gilbert, how their bodies would fit together, how Gilbert would act and sound when they were one.

'This is wrong," Ivan thought. 'He's risking his life to protect me and all I can think about is...' He glanced into the water at his semi-erection and sighed, slid down in the tub, and groaned softly. 'He probably hates me for what I'm putting him through, but I—'

"Lord Ivan!" A knock came at the door, startling Ivan and making water nearly splash over the edge of the tub.

"Yes?" he answered.

"Sir Gilbert is waiting for you in the lobby, my lord."

Ivan perked up. "Tell him I'll be down soon."

"Yes my lord."

Ivan heard the footsteps become distant. He looked out a small, nearby window. 'I'll make it up to him today...'

/

Gilbert had been dressed and ready, pacing back and forth in the lobby for minutes. A guard had told him that Ivan would be coming soon, so he tried to find a way to entertain himself while he waited. He stepped along the edge of the red, gold-trimmed carpet and acted like he was walking on a tightrope. He did it over and over until He heard footsteps echoing slightly through the empty halls. When he turned he saw Ivan coming toward him with a smile on his face and a long, narrow box under his arm.

"Sorry. Did I keep you waiting long?" the prince asked.

Gilbert shook his head. "No."

"Good." Ivan placed the box on a cushioned seat nearby. "I have a gift for you, I'm sure you'll like it." He unsnapped the locks on the case and lifted the lid. Inside the case was lined with red velvet, Ivan removed a white silk cloth from the box to reveal a sword in a black sheathe with silver accents. Over the week, Ivan had ordered the smiths to forge Gilbert a new sword. A very skinny silver short sword with a pure white tassel hanging from the grip. He picked up the sword and pointed the hilt toward Gilbert.

"Go ahead, take a look," he said.

Gilbert hesitantly wrapped his fingers around the grip and then pulled it from its sheathe. The blade was beautiful and reflective, skinny, and met a sharp point near the end.

"It's small, like you," Ivan commented as Gilbert gazed at the weapon. "How does it feel?"

"It's light, but it's longer than my dagger so that's good." Gilbert smiled. "It's beautiful, thank you."

"A beautiful sword for a beautiful knight," Ivan spoke sweetly, smiling, and made Gilbert blush lightly. Quickly Gilbert sheathed the sword and Ivan let him have it.

"Put it on, I want to see how it looks on you."

Gilbert obeyed and removed his dagger and put his new sword in its place.

"Perfect. It suits you wonderfully." Ivan clapped a few times. Gilbert was too busy admiring how the sword looked on himself to be embarrassed by Ivan's compliment. "Shall we go now?"

/

Between the castle and town, there were some open fields for farmers. No one was around, and Gilbert was beginning to feel pressure to speak to break the silence.

"Master Ivan?" he started. Ivan looked at him. "Are you all right? I mean, are you still shaken up from the attack before?"

"That was over a week ago, Gilbert," Ivan said.

Gilbert nodded, "Sure... but things like that can haunt a person for a while, right?"

Ivan gave a little smile. "Don't worry about me, I'm fine." Ivan was grateful that Gilbert thought this way, because he was still a little bothered by it, he just didn't want Gilbert to think him weak. Gilbert left it at that, trusting Ivan to take care of himself in that regard.

"Thank you..." Ivan mumbled after a few seconds of silence. "For asking if I'm okay." He smiled at Gilbert.

The albino turned pink with embarrassment and turned away crossing his arms. Ivan loved the action, it showed that Gilbert did care, because he was trying so hard to hide it.

The rest of the way they were quiet. In town, people were naturally watching them as they strolled through the streets. It was rare for the prince to be out so much, and the people could tell that it was because of the White Knight. He'd changed their prince somehow, brought out a side of him that no one had seen before. Ivan had always stayed inside and kept to himself, but now he was out and with Gilbert at his side, and with a smile on his face.

The market district was full of people trading, buying, and selling. The amount of people bothered Gilbert but he made sure to keep his guard up.

"Gilbert," Ivan called out to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, making him jolt a little. "Sorry. Would you like anything while we're here in town? Anything special?"

Gilbert blinked in confusion for a moment. "Can I get anything?" Ivan nodded with a smile. "Then... I want a loaf of fresh blueberry bread."

The answer wasn't one that Ivan was expecting at all. "Very well. Come, there's a cute little bakery down the street. My big sister gets pastries from there all the time." He grabbed Gilbert's wrist and pulled him.

Gilbert stood watch as Ivan ordered his bread, and a few minutes later the prince came over to Gilbert with the loaf wrapped in some cloth.

"Shall we eat in town? I know a nice little spot where it'll be just us."

"Sure, I'd feel better."

Ivan blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Well... crowded areas are probably dangerous to stay around, right? If someone wants you dead, a knife in a crowded area would be a perfect way to do it."

"Oh, I see... well then, let's go!" Once again Ivan grabbed the albino's wrist and pulled him away.

/

There were many beautiful areas in Wayland, but Ivan knew exactly where he wanted to take Gilbert. Far down the path from the bakery and down a hill, there was a river that curved alongside the hillside. A giant tree shaded a section of the river and a patch of grass where he brought Gilbert too. Ivan sat down, patted the ground next to him and smiled up at the other.

Gilbert looked around. A few farmers were tending to their fields and there weren't any good places to hide nearby, so he figured that Ivan was safe for now. He finally sat down next to the prince. Ivan continued to smile as he split the bread into two chunks, and then handed a piece to Gilbert.

"So Gilbert, why did you choose bread over everything else?" Ivan asked and then pushed a piece of blueberry studded bread into his mouth.

"Well when I was young—" Gilbert swallowed a piece. "My mom made the _best_  bread. It was so warm and fluffy, my mouth waters just thinking about it!" He chuckled. "Anyway, along with the bread she'd give me a few strawberries as treats... but, then she died. I started making the bread after a while for my brother and me, but see, he likes blueberries more than strawberries, so when he was a child he'd whine and complain until I made him blueberry bread." He smiled nostalgically. "Every time I eat bread like this, I'm reminded of them, so that's why."

Ivan's lips curved up slightly. "That's so sweet of you. I bet your bread tastes better than this though!"

"Damn right it does! I'm a baking wizard!" the knight boasted.

Ivan chuckled. "You'll have to bake something for me sometime then. Maybe after this mess with people trying to kill me is over?"

Gilbert smiled a little. "Maybe. We'll see." He ate another piece and stared up at the sky. White fluffy clouds floated across the blue, and the scent of grass, some nearby flowers, and the bread filled his nose.

"You have a thing to remember your mother and brother... what do you remember your father by?"

"... nothing," Gilbert stated bluntly and shoved more bread in his mouth.

Violet eyes widened a fraction of an inch. "I see... I'm sorry. But... I can relate, a little. I don't have any good memories of my father either."

Ivan's words piqued Gilbert's interest and he looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Really?"

The prince nodded. "You once asked why I'm so forceful... I guess I don't really have an excuse, but my father was always cruel when I was young, and after my mother died, he got worse. I guess he implanted a sort of 'take what I want' attitude in me when I'm denied..."

Gilbert's expression turned sad. "I'm sorry... but, you're not your father. You're.. nicer..." He felt a bit embarrassed.

Ivan smiled a little. "Thank you..." He scooted a little closer and caught Gilbert off guard when he suddenly kissed him. He pulled back after a few seconds, blushing softly.

"Why—Why are you greeting me now...?" Gilbert asked confusedly.

"I'm not," Ivan stated and lightly brushed his knuckles against Gilbert's cheek. "I'm just kissing you."

Gilbert turned pink in embarrassment and shifted his eyes away. "Okay..."

Ivan smiled and reconnected their lips in a gentle kiss. One arm snaked around Gilbert's waist, held onto his hip and pulled him close. Gilbert was still uncertain of what to do when being kissed, but he figured it was all right since Ivan seemed to know just what to do to get him to melt like putty in his hands. Gilbert couldn't help it, even if he could he would likely not do anything to stop it. For years he'd admired a few strong knights he'd grown up with, but never was able to do more than dream of them. Now a prince wanted him and he was growing to want the prince just as much. His body was craving the physical stimulation, and his heart craved the adoration.

The kiss was innocent enough, until Ivan decided to curiously prod his tongue against Gilbert's lips. The knight didn't pull back but he twitched in surprise. Ivan gave him a second, letting him feel his tongue against his lips and make them moist. He blushed when he felt Gilbert gradually part his lips, and let his tongue slip inside.

Their muscles barely touched and Gilbert cringed away, cheeks bright red. "We shouldn't..." he mumbled, his eyes showing concern.

"We should." Ivan ignored Gilbert's refusal and scooted closer, only to have Gilbert crawl away more.

"No!" Gilbert whispered urgently. "If anyone sees us we'll both be in trouble!"

Ivan narrowed his eyes. As much as he hated to admit it, Gilbert was right. If anyone saw them, Gilbert would be killed for more reasons than one, and Ivan did not want his blood on his hands. He sighed.

"Fine. But when we are back in my room alone, I will continue, understand?"

Gilbert nodded and let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you." He felt guilty for the look Ivan had. The prince's face was pink like a cherry blossom, and he fidgeted with his scarf as if to distract attention from his excitement. Gilbert knew that Ivan wanted to continue. If he hadn't stopped Ivan's advances, he was sure that within ten minutes he'd have been on his back with Ivan thrusting inside of him, and he was finding it hard to believe that he'd have any qualms about it. The thought scared him but not because he was scared of Ivan. It was something that made him stir below the belt rather than become sickened. He knew his feelings were getting out of hand.

Ivan picked up a piece of bread, broke it into a smaller piece, and then pressed it against Gilbert's lips. "We shouldn't waste good food, yes?" He smiled a little, cheeks still bright.

Gilbert blinked widely, confused by the sudden action. Then, realizing that Ivan was trying to move on from the awkward air, he opened his mouth and used his tongue to take the bread in. Ivan joined him in eating and after some minutes, the loaf was gone.

/

The two left their nice little spot and headed back toward the market district. Gilbert stayed behind Ivan with his hand on the pommel of his sword. He didn't like the look around him. Gray clouds began to cover the sun and darkened the path. Ahead of them there was an arch that led into the market, with many people passing through, but a few lingered in the shadows. A few dozen feet from the entrance Gilbert began to feel nervous. He knew it was probably nothing, but with the prince's life in his hands, he couldn't turn a blind eye to them.

"Master Ivan," Gilbert whispered and gripped the Russian's shoulder tight, stopping him in his tracks.

"What is it? Is everything alright?" Ivan asked.

Gilbert stared toward the arch, noticing that a few of the people were staring right back. "I don't like the look of the people over there. We should find another way into the market."

Ivan looked to the people Gilbert mention. Choosing not to question his knight's suspicions, he agreed. "There's another entrance further down that way." He pointed to his right.

"That'll work, let's go." Gilbert grabbed Ivan's hand and pulled him off the path, stepped onto the grass, and headed toward the other arch.

The other entrance was less crowded and it made Gilbert more comfortable to use. The area it led to was another section of the marketplace. As they walked, there were many stands set up with people selling various things. One of them caught Gilbert's eye. A stall full of shiny trinkets and jewelry. He slowed his pace and gazed at them, admiring the craftsmanship.

"Would you like one?" Ivan asked. Gilbert looked at him to see a smile on his face. "Or all of them? I'll buy them for you."

"No, that's all right. Thank you. I was just looking." He turned back to the pendants, and then noticed that there was a set of pins that had the emblems of many different kingdoms and cities engraved in them. He saw one for the city of Bellmore. It had a shield with a thorny vine wrapping around it, with a silver cross in the center of the shield to represent the White Knights. Ivan had told him that while he was with him he wasn't a White Knight, but it'd been his life for years and it was hard to even pretend that he wasn't one of them.

"Give me that one," Ivan suddenly spoke to the man at the stall, pointing at the pin that Gilbert was staring so intently at. The merchant handed the pendant to the prince, who then held it out to Gilbert, and he stared at it in shock.

"Well?" Ivan spoke with a smile and Gilbert turned his stunned expression to him.

"I thought you said I wasn't—"

"I know, but that's who you are," he eyed the pendant, "and I don't want you to be anyone else." Ivan stepped closer and attached the pin to Gilbert's armor. "It's only right that you wear a small piece of you while you're here."

Gilbert touched the pendant with a gloved finger and smiled. "Thank you. I'm in your debt."

"No no." Ivan shook his head. "This is a gift, and an apology. I already owe you my life, a silver pin is the least I could do." He smiled and then turned to walk.

Gilbert smiled softly to himself, still touching and looking down at the pendant on his chest as the prince walked from him. When he looked up, Ivan was several feet ahead of him, speaking to a baker selling pastries on the street. He couldn't help but smile in amusement as he watched Ivan gobble one of the round sweets that the baker offered to him. He began to remember what his brother had said about Ivan, that he'd heard strange things and that he treated his servants and guards badly. Ivan may have some rough edges, but he wasn't a terrible person like most people seemed to think. Spending so much time with him made it clear to Gilbert, the prince was just lonely and in desperate need of any living thing to call a friend.

The sweet and innocent moment didn't last for long, however, when Gilbert saw a man in dark clothing making his way through a crowd of people toward Ivan. Gilbert felt his heartbeat in his chest.

'Oh no. No no—' His mind raced as he began to run toward Ivan, pushing people out of the way. "Master Ivan!" he shouted, finding it hard to get through the crowd. "Ivan! Ivan!" He finally got the prince's attention, but by time he did, both he and the man in black were on him. Gilbert shoved Ivan aside, knocking him onto the ground with a grunt just before the man could attack.

Ivan coughed a few times, wondering why Gilbert had pushed him. When he glanced up to where he once was standing, his eyes widened in horror at what he saw.

A sword pierced through Gilbert's upper abdomen. He held the blade with his hands, trying to keep the weapon from going any further into his body. His gloves split and the blade dug into his skin, causing blood to drip down his hands and onto the stones at Ivan's feet.

"Gilbert!" Ivan shrieked.

"Get out of here!" Gilbert gasped out as he fought with the man to keep from being fully impaled. The attacker was furious and tried hard to drive his sword deeper, but Gilbert managed to match his strength.

"But Gil—"

"GO!" Gilbert shouted.

Ivan looked terrified from seeing his knight stabbed. He crawled backward as people around began to panic and scatter. Ivan stumbled to his feet but didn't move. When Gilbert saw that Ivan wasn't running, he bit his lip and grabbed his sword, feeling the blade through his torso stab deeper. His vision was beginning to blur and his hands went numb. At the last moment he pulled out his blade and whipped it across the attacker's neck, killing him, and then collapsed to the ground with the blade still inside of him.

Guards began to surround them, but Gilbert could barely make them out. He heard them calling for their prince, not one caring about him. His eyes got heavy and his entire body felt numb. The last thing he heard before he lost consciousness was Ivan yelling his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks for reading!**  
>  If you like this fic, please let me know with a comment! It's what keeps us writers going!
> 
> Follow me on [**twitter**](https://twitter.com/squeakster_) for personal/fanfic updates!


	7. Strong Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Originally posted September 19, 2014**

Seeing Gilbert lose consciousness right in front of him tore Ivan apart. The image of his bloody hand weakly closed around the grip of his new sword, coloring the white tassel with streaks of red, with the other man's sword still stabbing into him – it haunted him. He screamed at his guards to go to Gilbert, to make sure he was alright, but they told him that he was their first priority and wouldn't listen.

Before he knew it, he was back in his room with two guards standing watch outside the door. It'd been hours since the attack, and he wasn't even sure if Gilbert was alive or if he'd bled to death on the street. The last he saw of him was his form shrinking into the distance as guards dragged him back to the castle. None of the guards had spoken to him, not even his own father came to see if he was all right.

He sat on the edge of his bed as the reality sunk in. 'He sacrificed himself to save me...' Tears welled at his eyes and quickly dripped down his cheeks. He couldn't believe it. He thought Gilbert hated him, despite the kisses, closeness, and care Gilbert showed. For all he knew Gilbert was just faking it because he belonged to Ivan, it was his job to make the prince happy and keep him safe. Gilbert said he'd give his life for him if it came to that, but Ivan never believed it would actually happen. He never thought any of it would happen.

Ivan fell back onto his bed, still crying but not letting a single sound out. It felt like a hole was appearing in his chest. Just thinking that he'd never see, hear, or touch Gilbert again killed him inside. There was still so much he wanted to know about him, and it was possible that he'd never get the chance.

After an hour of crying and thinking of things he'd never have, his mind went to a state of denial. He began to think that maybe Gilbert was alive, and just no one had told him yet. He tried to stay optimistic, tried to deny it until he believed it, but the bloody image of Gilbert kept flashing back to him. He started to cry again, but then there was a knock at the door. He perked up, but his hopes fell almost immediately when he realized that it probably wasn't Gilbert. He went to the door and opened it, and there stood a doctor. Ivan looked at the man's white apron, noticing small traces of blood on it.

"Can I help you?" Ivan asked, wiping at his sore eyes.

"I've come to tell you about Sir Gilbert, your knight."

"Gilbert!? What about him!? Is he all right!?" Ivan looked shocked and scared as he spoke.

"Well, he's breathing, but he's injured." The prince breathed out heavily, holding a hand over his heart beating slow and hard. "He's still asleep right now, but would you like to come see him?"

Ivan nodded quickly. "Yes!"

The doctor nodded and led the prince to a bottom floor room where there were tons of medical supplies stored. Gilbert was lying in a bed, nearly naked save for shorts that the doctor let him keep on, and covered up to his shoulders with a white blanket. Ivan paced over to him and gazed down at the albino's face.

"Is he okay?" Ivan asked, looking at the doctor.

"He'll be fine. There was poison on the blade he was stabbed with, but luckily I had an antidote and the wound wasn't too deep. He might feel a little sluggish when he wakes up. As for the wound itself, it'll leave a scar, but he'll be fully recovered in a week or so."

Ivan smiled a little. "When will he wake up?"

The doctor shrugged. "A few minutes, an hour, could be tomorrow." He noticed how frightened the prince looked. "Don't worry, my lord, he will wake up and he'll be fine." He bowed and left the room to leave the prince with his knight.

Ivan pulled a chair to the bedside, leaned toward Gilbert, and brushed the hair from his forehead. The man looked so peaceful in his sleep, almost dead, and the thought made Ivan's eyes tear up again. Gilbert was breathing but it was so shallow and weak that it frightened Ivan, even if the doctor said he'd be okay. Gilbert just looked so small as he lay there. His eyelashes kissed his cheeks and his lips were dry and beginning to crack, parted just a centimeter.

Gilbert's voice suddenly rang in his head.

" _Ivan! Ivan!_ " It was crystal clear as it screamed inside his mind. There was no honorific attached to his name, and it proved how desperate Gilbert was. Calling a prince by only his first name followed by pushing him to the ground, Gilbert could be put to death for such a thing.

Ivan saw one of Gilbert's hands peeking out from under his covers. It was wrapped in white bandages that were stained with a little bit of blood. He rested his own over top of it. Gilbert's skin was cold, and it only made Ivan cry more. It was stupid. Gilbert would be all right, but seeing him asleep and cold made it feel like he was saying a final goodbye. He rubbed his thumb along Gilbert's hand, feeling that section of skin warm up from the friction. He wanted to hug Gilbert tight and make him warm, wrap him in blankets and make him hot tea.

"I'll buy you a ton of blueberry bread when you wake up," he whispered to the sleeping albino. He felt his throat tighten like he was going to cry again. Leaning down, he lightly pressed his lips to Gilbert's hand. "I won't let anyone hurt you ever again. I'll protect you next time..."

After a few minutes of silence, he quickly removed his hand when someone knocked on the door. A guard entered shortly after. "Pardon me, my lord. King Nikolai would like to see you."

Ivan stared at the man. "Can it wait?"

The guard shook his head. "He wants to see you now, in his office."

Ivan growled under his breath. "Fine." He stood up and then left the room.

/

Ivan found his father in his office, writing a letter with a glass of wine beside him. Ivan had been sitting across from him for minutes, waiting for Nikolai to speak up, but he only continued writing the letter. Nikolai hadn't even come to see if he was all right, but summoned him to his office like a servant, it bothered him. The annoyance of waiting settled in and Ivan sat forward.

"Why did you want to see me?" he asked.

Nikolai glanced up with raised eyebrows, and then looked back down. He finished a sentence and then placed his pen beside his paper.

"Your knight, I heard he got himself injured today."

Ivan stiffened in his chair. "Yes. He threw himself in front of a knife to save me."

"He's _injured_. He cannot protect you if he's laying in bed. He should be sent back to Bellmore immediately."

Violet eyes widened. "I will not ship him away just because he's injured! He risked his life to save me, I won't just—"

"That's what he's _supposed_  to do! He's supposed to die for you if necessary!" the king yelled.

"Is this all you wanted to tell me?" Ivan growled.

"No. I need you to tell Gilbert to pack, or have a servant pack for him if he's incapable. I'm sending a letter to Rosenthal, letting him know that his knight is coming home—"

"He is _not_  going home. He's not even conscious yet and you're dismissing him! Gilbert is _my_  knight and he will stay right here." Ivan glared at his father. "He's only going to be down for a few days, it won't take long for him to heal."

Nikolai gave a long, disapproving stare, one that Ivan did not break, but finally gave in. "You will remain on castle grounds until he has fully recovered. You will also not go into town until these men trying to kill you have been dealt with." Ivan remained silent, locking his gaze with his father's. "Do you understand me, Ivan?" he asked with force.

"Fine," Ivan finally answered.

"Good."

"In that case—" Ivan grabbed the letter off of Nikolai's desk, to his surprise. "You won't have to send this then." He glanced down at the paper and skimmed over it. "What is this...? 'Failed in his mission to protect my son,'?" Ivan read from the letter and then looked at his father with a fire in his eyes. " _Failed?_ " He went back to reading the letter, uttering the words softly under his breath. "'... is being sent back to Bellmore because of his failure to meet the standards you promised.'" Ivan glared at the king. "You're trying to get him stripped of his title."

"Well he did fail—"

"His mission is to keep me alive and I'm alive," Ivan interrupted him. "Gilbert is serving under me, he's here under my orders, and you will not do a single thing to him."

"Fine! If you want him here so bad then keep him! Go frolic through the flowers with your dainty knight! Maybe once he gets killed you'll start taking this seriously!"

Ivan ripped the letter into several small pieces. "Thank you, _father_ , that sounds much nicer than this," he fumed and turned to leave.

"Ivan," Nikolai called to him just before he reached the door, making him turn around. "Do you really trust this boy that much?"

"With my life," Ivan stated. He then noticed how his father's expression changed to one of slight surprise, like he'd just realized something. "He's the only one around here who can protect me. That's why he's here," Ivan said.

Nikolai leaned back in his chair, holding his chin as he thought. "Yes..."

"Is that all? May I go now?"

The king glanced to his son. "Hm? Oh, yes, you may go..."

/

Ivan spent the next three hours sitting by Gilbert's bedside, hoping that any minute he'd wake up. The sun had set, the castle was quiet, and there were a few candles burning on the nightstand. Over the hours Ivan had noticed that Gilbert's breathing had become more normal. It relieved him.

Once, the doctor came in to visit. He told Ivan that he'd need to change the bandage for Gilbert, but Ivan told him that he'd do it himself. The doctor seemed hesitant to accept, but with Gilbert's life no longer in danger, a doctor wasn't exactly needed anymore, just for some minor things. Ivan wanted to do all of it himself now. He had to repay Gilbert in someway. Saving him from an archer was one thing, but taking a knife in the belly was another thing entirely.

Ivan could almost forget that Gilbert was injured with how peaceful he was sleeping. Like tonight was just another night he spent watching Gilbert sleep before he himself went to bed. He chuckled to himself, thinking that at least this time he had a decent reason for watching the albino sleep.

Roughly another hour passed and Gilbert gave a soft groan. Ivan nearly jumped up with enough force to send the chair flying backward. He watched Gilbert's face, waiting for those pink eyes to slide open. Soon they did, though slowly and tiredly, and blinked a few times.

"Gilbert?" he spoke his name quietly.

Gilbert only shifted his eyes to see Ivan. "You're not dead too are you?" he mumbled out almost jokingly.

Ivan chuckled softly. "No, and you're not dead. You've just been asleep for a little while." He sat back in the chair.

"Feels like forever. My body feels so strange." Gilbert began to wiggle a little under his covers.

"You shouldn't move too much yet," Ivan told him, pulling the blanket up over his bare chest more. "Do you remember what happened?"

"I was... stabbed, right? Or something like that?" Gilbert spoke as he snuggled his head back into the pillow.

Ivan nodded. "You were stabbed with a poisoned knife, which is probably why you feel so weak and strange. Doctor said you probably would."

"Wow... well I guess there's a first time for everything." Gilbert chuckled softly.

"I'd rather your firsts be less fatal. You could have died."

Gilbert smiled toward him. "Well, that's why I'm here."

Ivan's face turned sad and he looked down at the floor. "... I don't want you to die for me... because if you're gone, I won't have anyone..." His eyes went back to Gilbert, who was staring wide-eyed at him. "Anyone to protect me, I mean."

Then Gilbert's expression dropped. He felt disappointed, like he expected Ivan to say or mean something different.

Oh how Ivan did though. Ivan wanted to tell Gilbert the truth. The truth about how much the White Knight truly meant to him, how much he cared for him, and how he was quickly falling in love with him. He couldn't though, not only because it wasn't very accepted, his father would make Gilbert leave, and if King Rosenthal found out, Gilbert could be killed. Then there was the fact that confessing his love might distract and make Gilbert uncomfortable, and right now Gilbert had to remain focused. The last thing he needed was Ivan telling him he loved him.

"Anyway... do you feel okay? Are you in pain?"

"Nah I'm fine. My side feels a little sore and I feel a little hazy, but aside from that I'm okay." He smiled, but then frowned slightly. "So what about you? How are you doing?" Gilbert asked, his voice low and soft.

"Me? I'm fine," Ivan answered.

Gilbert stared at him for a few seconds. "Don't lie to me."

Ivan opened his mouth, and then bit his bottom lip. He glanced down to his hands folded in his lap. "I'm scared..."

"I know," Gilbert mumbled out.

"People want me dead. Not just one person, several... what did I ever do to them?" Ivan looked back to Gilbert, tears making his violet eyes shine.

Gilbert looked saddened and worried. He grunted softly with a quiet sigh. "You... didn't do anything to them. You're just... well, you're a prince. Maybe they're jealous. Maybe they have a leader who wants to take over. Either way, it's not your fault."

"It was my fault you got hurt."

"I got hurt because I pushed you out of the way," Gilbert stated sternly. "Stop beating yourself up over it, I'm fine remember?"

"So you're not scared?"

"Not at all!" Gilbert beamed with a bright smile. "I'm a knight! I mean, I've never actually _been_  stabbed before but it wasn't that bad."

Ivan chuckled at Gilbert's words. He really admired Gilbert's bravery with the situation. Ivan wasn't even hurt and he was more frightened than Gilbert seemed, even after getting stabbed with a poisoned knife and killing another man before fainting. He thought that Gilbert was amazing.

The room became silent, Ivan pondering something that had been on his mind. "You saved me, even though I thought you hate me... why?"

Gilbert gave a crooked grin. "It's my duty to protect you, remember?"

"I see... so you _do_  hate me," Ivan spoke with a plaintive voice, "and you only saved me because you would have failed your mission."

Gilbert saw the hurt in the prince's eyes. "Hey. That's not... entirely true. Yeah I have a bone to pick with you, but... 'hate' is a pretty strong word..."

"So... you don't hate me?" Ivan asked. There was a pathetic tone of hope in his voice.

Gilbert growled a bit under his breath and turned away. "I let you kiss me every morning for a week, and by the river earlier, and took a knife in the stomach for you. No I don't hate you, idiot." Ivan's eyes widened. "You're just a little pushy, and don't know how to take 'no' for an answer, and you can be really stubborn and childish." He grinned a little.

Ivan smiled softly. "I will try to work on that." He stood up. "I'll let you rest more. I'll be back later."

"No," Gilbert quickly called to him. "No, I um... want you to stay."

The prince stared at him for a few seconds, wondering why Gilbert wanted him to stay. He sat back down, studying Gilbert's face. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you want me to stay?"

Gilbert turned his head to look away. "I don't want to be alone right now," he grumbled.

"Why?"

"You ask too many questions, you know that?" Gilbert groaned. "I just... I feel a bit weird."

Ivan tilted his head. "Weird?"

Gilbert gave a weak nod. "I guess I just... I'm just now realizing what happened."

Violet eyes widened. "So you're scared too?"

"I'm not scared. No one wants me dead, but being stabbed and then killing a man isn't something I'm really used to... back home I was more of a glorified sentry that just guarded doors and frisked civilians."

Ivan blinked widely at the albino, not saying a word.

When Gilbert noticed his silence he suddenly blushed with embarrassment. "I mean searching them for weapons or something! Not anything weird like touching them!"

Ivan sunk down a little, covering his face up to his nose with his scarf. "You think touching is weird?"

"When it's a total stranger, yes!" Gilbert shouted and then winced from some pain in his side.

"Don't yell, Gilbert. Just relax." 'This is good, I can get his mind off of it.' He smiled a little, and then blushed under his scarf. "Gilbert... have you ever been touched? I know you said you've never been seen naked, but..."

Gilbert turned red as well and he tried to hide it by looking away. "Not... like, sexually," he answered a bit shyly. "You're the only one who's ever seen me half naked, or touch me at all..."

"Really...? That makes me happy..." Ivan curled his lips into his mouth to keep from smiling even more.

"Why?" Gilbert looked at the other curiously.

"I like you a lot. It makes me a little jealous thinking if other people have touched you."

Gilbert felt his cheeks get warmer, but he was thoroughly confused by Ivan's words. 'Why is he jealous...?' he asked himself but was too nervous to ask aloud. Then, when he realized that he was nervous, he wondered why he was. Before when Ivan backtracked and made it sound like all Gilbert was here for was protecting him, he actually felt disappointed that Ivan didn't think more of him. He wondered if the kisses they've been sharing meant nothing to Ivan, but were just something he was doing for pleasure. The thought of Ivan using him in that way made him feel a little sick.

"Gilbert?" Ivan called out to him.

"Huh? Yeah, what?" Gilbert answered dazedly.

"You were quiet. Did I make you uncomfortable again...?"

Gilbert shook his head. "No... I was just thinking."

"May I ask about what?"

Gilbert took in a sharp breath. He didn't know how to explain how he felt; he wasn't sure he even _knew_  how he felt.

"I'm still trying to figure you out, I guess," Gilbert started. "You say you like me, but I can't figure out if you actually like _me_ , or if you just..."

Ivan noticed Gilbert pause. "Just what?"

"... if you just like my body."

"Oh Gilbert..." Ivan smiled in disbelief, chuckling softly. He pulled his chair closer. "I really do like you. If I was only interested in your body then I wouldn't care so much about you."

"So you do like my body?"

"Of course. Who wouldn't?" Ivan smiled at how embarrassed Gilbert looked. "You're handsome and beautiful, and sexy." The last word made Gilbert's cheeks burn hot. "But... you shouldn't be worried about that right now, worry about getting better. You need to recover quickly."

Gilbert looked back to him. "Why?"

"... My father was going to send a letter to your king, saying that you failed your mission, and... he was going to send you back."

Pink eyes widened. "And...? Am I leaving then?"

Ivan shook his head. "No, you're staying. I made sure of that. You'll stay right here by my side, whether my father likes it or not."

"You're okay with an injured knight protecting you?"

"The doctor said you'll recover in a few days. I'm not worried, especially since my loving father has forbidden me from leaving the castle until this whole mess is sorted out."

"That's probably best though, even if you hate it." Gilbert chuckled.

"Oh I won't hate it," Ivan said as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, next to Gilbert. "It means that we'll have a lot more time to be together. Alone." His cheeks turned bright pink.

Gilbert shifted uncomfortably, feeling a bit nervous with Ivan's words and how he suddenly got so close.

Ivan pouted. "Do you not like being alone with me?"

"Depends on what you do when we are..." Gilbert mumbled.

"Nothing that you don't want. I told you that I won't touch you unless you want me to."

Gilbert hesitated. "... Do you want to touch me?"

"I do," Ivan answered honestly, making Gilbert look a little surprised. "Of course I do, Gilbert. I want to, really badly, actually..." He flushed dark and turned away. "I wish you wanted me back..."

'I do,' Gilbert mouthed the words as he thought them, blushing at his own confession. He liked when Ivan kissed him, and he'd recently begun to think about other things.

The room fell silent again. Both of them shamefully letting their minds wander to each other's bodies, much to their embarrassment. However, their thoughts were interrupted by something else that made Gilbert even more embarrassed.

His stomach growled.

Ivan glanced to him, and Gilbert chuckled nervously and shifted his body.

"I guess I'm hungry," he stated the obvious.

"I guess you are." Ivan stood up. "I'll go get you something." He looked at Gilbert for a second, and then leaned down. He aimed for Gilbert's forehead but the albino tilted his head up as he did. Ivan froze, staring into Gilbert's eyes. In them he saw something that made his heart flutter and cheeks warm. Feeling suddenly embarrassed, Ivan could only kiss Gilbert's cheek before he hurried out of the room.

Gilbert groaned aloud once the door was shut. He wanted Ivan to kiss him, and badly too since all he could think about now was being kissed slowly and tenderly. The thoughts made him tingle, and the tingling spread throughout his body and made him warm. He felt ashamed for it, but not enough to stop thinking.

Ivan was gone for only a few minutes, but those minutes were torture for Gilbert. The room was too quiet and he felt cold. He had never craved the presence of another person as badly as he did in that moment. Luckily Ivan came back and he actually let out a sigh of relief, as if he'd been holding his breath while he was gone.

"I brought you some water too. Your lips look really dry." Ivan set a small tray on the nightstand.

Gilbert brought a hand up and touched a finger against his bottom lip, feeling how hard and cracked they were. He then tried to sit up, but his body felt sore. Ivan saw him struggling a little, gently held onto Gilbert's arms, and helped him until he was sitting leaning against the headboard. When he sat up, the blanket fell from his body and he shuddered audibly.

Ivan found another blanket and wrapped it around the albino's shoulders to keep him warm.

"Thanks..." Gilbert said, and then tried to grip onto the blanket. "Ow!"

Ivan leaned toward him looking worried. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" he asked frantically.

Gilbert looked at his bandaged hands. "My hands hurt when I clench them..."

Ivan narrowed his eyes sadly on Gilbert's injured hands. "You grabbed onto the knife... now your hands are cut up..."

"Yeah..." Gilbert sighed and then looked to Ivan. "Well I guess you'll have to help me eat since I can't hold anything without my hands burning."

Ivan chuckled. "I have no problem with that." He picked up the bowl of warm soup and then scooped some into the spoon. "Say 'ah,'" Ivan teased with a smile.

Gilbert only flattened his eyes in annoyance, though secretly he thought it was cute. He opened his mouth and let Ivan feed him. It felt awkward at first, but Gilbert blamed it on the atmosphere. They were alone in a dim, candle-lit room, Gilbert was wearing nearly nothing under the blanket, injured, and having Ivan spoon-feed him his food. Whenever Ivan would bring the spoon up to his lips, he'd look deep into Gilbert's eyes with a soft, loving gaze. Gilbert hated that he was blushing bright, but he hoped that in the dim lighting it couldn't really be seen.

Ivan saw it, though, and he thought it was adorable. He didn't like that Gilbert was hurt, but since he couldn't use his hands at the moment, it presented an opportunity for him to help Gilbert do things. Soon the bowl of soup was gone, and Ivan picked up a cloth. He dabbed it against Gilbert's lips, to Gilbert's surprise.

"What's wrong? You look confused," Ivan said, smiling as he put the cloth down.

Gilbert pursed his bottom lip slightly. "No. It's just a little strange, is all."

Ivan gave him a sweet look. "You're really cute, you know that?" Gilbert blushed and looked away from him. "I want to kiss you, Gilbert."

His words made the albino slowly turn back to him. "You ran out earlier."

Ivan looked shocked by the statement. "I was... nervous! You were being so cute that I got nervous!"

Gilbert smiled a little. "You're really cute, you know that?" his voice was light and a little playful.

The prince blushed bright and squeezed his eyes shut. "Stop teasing me! It's not fair! I can't—" He suddenly felt Gilbert's lips on his cheek, and he jerked back slightly.

"What? Am I not allowed to kiss you?" Gilbert asked.

"No, you are... I just—never expected you to want to..."

"Well I do..." Gilbert turned red as well.

Ivan's eyes went wide and his mouth gaped. He was completely in shock that Gilbert wanted to kiss him. He excitedly scooted closer. "Do it, kiss me," he demanded lightly, almost sounding a bit desperate for it.

Gilbert hesitated but slowly leaned forward, pressing his lips to Ivan's. The prince sighed softly and closed his eyes. Kissing Gilbert felt even better now that he knew Gilbert really wanted it too. He couldn't help but add some pressure and push against the other a little, but Gilbert broke away.

"Be careful, don't get carried away. I don't need you making my recovery time longer." He grinned a little.

Ivan chuckled and brushed his knuckles against Gilbert's cheek. "I'm sorry, I'll be careful I promise." Ivan gave him a quick kiss, making a quiet smacking sound. He did it a few more times until he heard Gilbert giggle against his lips. The sound made Ivan's eyes sparkle.

"You're laughing," he stated happily.

Gilbert covered his mouth using the back of his bandaged hand. "Be quiet..."

Ivan gently moved Gilbert's hand aside and gave him a deeper, more passionate kiss that nearly made Gilbert fall backward.

"I want you to giggle and laugh like that more often." Ivan kissed him again. "I love it." More quick kisses, which pulled some little grunts from the albino. "You're so cute," Ivan whispered against his lips and kissed him again.

Gilbert could only make a soft groaning sound, almost a whimper. The kisses left him speechless and wanting more, but he didn't know how to tell Ivan that he did. Perhaps that was for the best, though, since he was still injured and didn't want to provoke Ivan. The prince seemed to be teetering on the fence between control and lust, and Gilbert really didn't want to push him over the edge.

"If you weren't hurt, do you know what I'd be doing to you right now?" Ivan asked, his tone becoming a little huskier.

"Do I want to know?" Gilbert deadpanned.

Ivan hummed in his throat and leaned closer. "I'd have you on your back, without these blankets, and I'd be kissing you all over." He watched Gilbert's cheeks brighten and swallow roughly, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. "From your collarbone down to your naval, I'd kiss your cute little belly and blow raspberries on it!" He giggled happily.

"That sounds... nice..." he mumbled his last word so quietly that Ivan almost didn't hear, but he did and it made his heart soar.

"When you're all better, I'm going to be the first to touch you. I'm going to show you what you've been missing all these years."

"D-Don't do anything too... y'know..." Gilbert blushed dark in embarrassment and Ivan tilted his head curiously, "... sexual, or whatever..."

Ivan smiled cutely and then kissed Gilbert's temple. "Don't worry about that, I won't do anything you're uncomfortable with. I'm just so happy that you want me to touch you at all! It's like a dream come true!"

Gilbert looked away from Ivan. He was so embarrassed by his words that he couldn't stand to see him. He couldn't believe that he admitted to wanting to kiss Ivan, or that he wanted him to touch him, but he started to wonder why he didn't want to admit it if he _did_  want it. What was the point of lying and trying to hide it? Aside from the possibility of being found out, he had no reasons to hide his feelings anymore.

The prince slid a finger along Gilbert's jaw, bringing pink eyes back to him. "I'll take care of you for the next few days. Don't worry about protecting me or wearing your armor or carrying your sword. Let me protect you now." He ended his sentence with a soft kiss to Gilbert's lips, one that Gilbert was too stunned by his words to return.

Ivan pulled back and ruffled Gilbert's short white hair as he smiled. "Get some more rest, you still look tired." He stroked his fingertips down the side of Gilbert's face. "I'll be back in the morning with breakfast and I'll help change your bandages, and I'll do whatever else I can to make you feel comfortable."

"Okay... thanks." Gilbert smiled a little.

Ivan helped the other lay back down, tucked the blanket in around him, and then kissed his forehead. "Goodnight, Gilbert," he whispered against his skin.

"Goodnight," Gilbert mumbled back. Ivan held his gaze with a smile, then turned to blow out the candles lighting the room, and left him in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks for reading!**  
>  If you like this fic, please let me know with a comment! It's what keeps us writers going!
> 
> Follow me on [**twitter**](https://twitter.com/squeakster_) for personal/fanfic updates!


	8. Tender Loving Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Originally posted September 29, 2014**

When Gilbert woke up the next morning his body still felt a little stiff and sluggish. Without using his hands, he managed to lift himself into a sitting position and lean against the headboard of the bed. Sunlight was shining through the window to his left, which surprised him. He figured with how much he had slept, he'd wake up in the middle of the night.

He pushed the blanket down and looked at his torso wrapped in bandages. Aside from the soreness around the area, he couldn't even tell that he'd been stabbed. Luckily none of his injuries seemed to bleed during the night, and only the bandages on his hands still had some blood on them. His hands still felt a bit sore too. It annoyed him so much that he couldn't wear his armor or hold his sword, let alone use his hands for anything else. He felt useless, and he basically was.

Gilbert looked up from his hands when he heard the door open. Ivan came in with another tray, and was a little surprised to see Gilbert up.

"Oh, you're awake." The prince closed the door and went to the bed.

"Yeah. I woke up a few minutes ago."

Ivan scanned Gilbert's torso. He hated seeing it covered in bandages. He shook his head lightly to stop from thinking about what happened. "Well, I brought some food. Want me to feed you again?"

Gilbert huffed and leaned back against the headboard. "It's not a matter of want. I kind of have to have you do it."

Ivan poked his nose playfully. "Don't be so grouchy. Some people would kill to have a handsome prince feed them breakfast in bed."

"Yeah, okay...."

Ivan frowned. "What's wrong? Don't you feel any better today?"

"A little, I guess," Gilbert answered. "I'm sore, but I'm more just irritated."

"How come?"

Gilbert shook his head. "Never mind, it's not important."

Ivan sighed. "All right, well let's get you fed." He sat in the chair beside Gilbert's bed, setting the tray on the nightstand. The albino only pouted and looked grumpy. Ivan mockingly mimicked his pout and pinched one of his cheeks.

"Come on, smile!"

Gilbert whined and Ivan pulled on his cheek, trying to force one side of his mouth up into a half smile. Ivan pouted his bottom lip out more, and the sight of the prince looking like such an adorable child broke Gilbert down. It didn't take long for Gilbert to start smiling.

"There you go!" Ivan beamed upon seeing him smile. "Time to eat now." He picked up the bowl of soup and sat on the bed by Gilbert. He fed him once again, smiling happily as he did. He really loved how Gilbert seemed to get embarrassed every time he fed him.

"Oh! I have an idea!" Ivan exclaimed and nearly spilled the soup into Gilbert's lap. "How about I help change your bandages, then after I can give you a massage to help you relax more?"

Gilbert stared at the prince, blinking a few times quickly. "A massage?" Ivan nodded once. "... that does sound nice... but—"

"No! No 'but!'" Ivan whined. "Please? I want to," he begged, giving Gilbert a pair of huge purple puppy-dog eyes.

Gilbert groaned. "Oh okay fine, you can."

Ivan smiled brightly. "Thank you!"

"Yeah yeah. Can I have the rest of my food now?" Gilbert droned with flat eyes. Ivan's smile softened. He scooped up another spoonful of soup and fed it to Gilbert.

The bowl emptied after a few minutes. Ivan placed it aside and then stood up. It was time to change Gilbert's bandages, and Ivan wouldn't admit it but he was nervous. He'd never seen a stab wound before, the worst he'd ever had was falling down and scraping his knee as a child, but Gilbert had been punctured, and it could have killed him if Gilbert hadn't grabbed the blade, or if the poison was more deadly. There were so many things that could have caused Gilbert's death, but he was alive and mostly healthy, and Ivan was extremely grateful for that.

Ivan gathered the first shirt and pair of pants that he could find, and some fresh bandages from the cabinet, then returned to the albino. The prince pushed the blanket off of Gilbert, revealing his lithe body and momentarily stared. He couldn't even appreciate Gilbert's near-naked form when he knew what was under those white wrappings.

"Sit up," he told him as he prepared the bandages.

Gilbert did so, letting his legs hang off the side of the bed with his toes just barely touching the cold floor. Ivan turned back to him and then knelt to the floor beside pale knees. He removed the metal clips holding the cloth in place, then set them aside to start unwrapping. His hands moved slowly and carefully as to not hurt the albino, and partly because he was really dreading seeing the wound.

"It's all right, Master, it doesn't hurt," Gilbert reassured him. Ivan looked up at him and paused, then nodded and continued. He still went slow, it was something he couldn't help. Each time he had to reach around Gilbert's back he'd feel more anxious, knowing that he was getting closer and closer to seeing the gash. With Gilbert's word that it didn't hurt, his mind was a little more at ease, and he was able to enjoy being so close to Gilbert's body, even if just a little. The scent on Gilbert was one that Ivan hated – he smelled like medical supplies and it nearly covered up Gilbert's natural scent.

Gilbert wasn't as worried as Ivan and the removal of the bandaged didn't hurt much at all. He blushed lightly when the prince had to reach behind him. The Russian's breath would sometimes tickle the sensitive skin of his chest and it took all of his willpower to not twitch and giggle.

Finally, Ivan slowly pulled the last strip from Gilbert's body. The sound of the cloth peeling from dried blood and other bodily fluid made Ivan cringe. It was disgusting but he came this far, he couldn't back out now. He pulled the last of it away and tossed it onto the floor, and when he looked back his eyes widened in mild horror. The edges of the wound were a bright pink with some blood dried around it. It looked better than Ivan imagined but it still didn't look good. Seeing the dark and light red colors, the visible gash, and hardened healing skin still made his stomach turn.

"How does it look?" Gilbert asked when he noticed Ivan staring for more than a few seconds.

"Oh, um..." Ivan had a bit of difficulty moving his eyes away from the gash. It was something that no matter how gross it looked, it demanded that it be looked at. "It looks better than I thought it would."

"Well that's good." Gilbert chuckled. "It feels cool."

"Cool?" Ivan tilted his head curiously.

"Yeah, cool. Like cold. I've been wearing that bandage for a while, I bet it smells like my sweat and blood." He grinned with a soft laugh. "It feels nice not to have something wrapped around me. Are you sure I have to put more on?"

Ivan chuckled and gently patted Gilbert's bare knee. "I'm sorry. I don't want it getting infected. Just to be safe you have to wrap it until it's healed, or until a doctor says otherwise." Gilbert groaned and Ivan smiled at his irritation. He bent his head down and kissed Gilbert's kneecap, then looked up at him to see a red blush streaked across the pale face. "I know it's annoying, but it'll be over soon." He kissed his knee again.

"Stop that!" Gilbert pushed his hand on Ivan's head to shove him away, but due to his hands being cut, he kept it in a fist shape and accidentally punched Ivan square in the top of the head.

The prince stumbled and fell backward onto his rump. "Oww... what was that for? You didn't have to punch me..." he grumbled as he rubbed his head.

"Sorry! You're just—being weird kissing my leg!" The albino looked away from him blushing so bright that his ears were turning pink.

Ivan smiled a bit mischievously. "Oh... oh I get it." He got back on his knees, placing a hand on both of Gilbert's kneecaps. "You were thinking something dirty!"

"I was not!" Gilbert blushed darker. "It's just weird that you're kissing my leg like that!"

"But it made you feel something, right?" Ivan's voice got softer, his eyes almost pleading for something unspoken.

Gilbert froze in shock and confusion. "What...?"

"When I kissed you here..." he circled a finger on Gilbert's thigh, "it made you feel warm, or something, right?"

Gilbert's bottom lip pursed out as if he were pouting. "I... don't know what you mean."

Ivan hesitated before speaking. "Did it turn you on, at all?"

The albino turned his head away. Ivan's kiss made him blush but he wasn't sure if it actually aroused him. He knew if the prince continued and kissed further up his leg, then he would start feeling a little tingle.

Ivan suddenly patted Gilbert's leg. "Never mind. Forget I asked." He smiled happily, but Gilbert didn't realize that it was fake. Ivan grabbed the fresh bandages and carefully wrapped Gilbert's torso with them, then used the metal clips to lock it in place.

"There." Ivan stood up and held out his hands. "Give me your arms," he instructed. Gilbert lifted his limbs, Ivan gently grabbed his forearms, and carefully helped him up from the bed. Ivan once again got distracted by Gilbert's body. He shook his headmention a userrmention a userred for too long.

"Let's get you dressed, hm?" Gilbert gave a small nod and Ivan gathered the clothes. He helped Gilbert's feet into the pants and pulled them up, tying them around Gilbert's hips. He grabbed the long-sleeved shirt, put the hole over Gilbert's head, then slid his arms into the sleeves. When he was done, he gently ruffled Gilbert's messy hair and smiled.

Gilbert stared at him for a second. "Didn't you want to massage me?" he asked.

The question stumped Ivan and he suddenly felt embarrassed. "Yeah, I did..." He rubbed his neck.

"Well?" Gilbert cocked an eyebrow, and Ivan just gawked at him like a deer in headlights. Gilbert waved his hands around in front of his chest. "I can't take my shirt off, genius, remember?"

"Oh right!" Ivan blushed dark, now even more embarrassed. He helped the shirt off and Gilbert sat down.

"You're really flustered..." Gilbert commented.

"Sorry. I was just... distracted." Ivan stepped closer. "Turn around."

Gilbert gave him a short, questioning stare, then turned around, bringing his legs onto the bed and sitting cross-legged.

"I'm just going to massage your shoulders and upper back, okay?"

"All right."

Ivan gently pressed his hands against Gilbert's shoulder blades. He'd never massaged anyone before and was a little worried it wouldn't feel good. Slowly, he began to grip and rub at Gilbert's shoulders with a little more pressure. He rubbed his thumbs against the nape of Gilbert's neck, then heard the albino make a tiny noise. It wasn't a whimper, but not quite a moan either.

"Did I hurt you...?" Ivan asked.

Gilbert shook his head. "No, it feels good." He rolled his head to the side a little.

Ivan couldn't explain why he loved seeing Gilbert like this; the knight was just so content looking. He moved his hands over the shoulders and rubbed high up on the pale chest. Ivan knew what he was doing felt good, and he felt a bit of pride for being able to release the stress, tension, and soreness from Gilbert's body. He wanted to keep rubbing him, and wished that his wound was healed so he could lay on his belly. His mind filled with thoughts of rubbing Gilbert down, maybe even using some special oils from the apothecary, and seeing his skin glisten along the curve of his back down to the hem of his pants. He thought about what Gilbert would sound like. Would he make more of those cute moaning, groaning sounds? Ivan hoped so.

Gilbert had been a little nervous but now he couldn't remember why. It felt good to be touched and rubbed in such a soft manner, and when Ivan started to rub his chest, he wanted to lean back into him and just enjoy it. A massage was something he really needed, something to take his stress away, and that's just what Ivan was doing. The large hands on his back roamed from his shoulder blades to his chest, then would gently rub the sides of his neck.

The feeling was fantastic, it felt better than it probably should have, and Gilbert couldn't help but let out a soft moan. Ivan faltered, his hands halted immediately, and he stared at the back of Gilbert's head. He wasn't imagining things, was he? That noise Gilbert made, it sounded more like a sound of pleasure. He understood massages felt good, but to moan like that...

Gilbert noticed that Ivan stopped. "You okay? Why'd you stop?" he asked and turned his head a little, peeking out of the corner of his eye. He saw that Ivan's cheeks were pink and he seemed dazed. "Master Ivan...?"

Ivan shook his head quickly. "Ah! Sorry!" He went back to rubbing, though Gilbert could tell that he was distracted by something.

Gilbert racked his brain for a reason, then he realized something. He leaned forward to make Ivan stop, then turned to face him.

"Did I make you uncomfortable?"

"... with what...?" Ivan asked quietly.

"You know what!" Gilbert blushed. "The weird sounds I was making."

Ivan looked away. "They... weren't making me uncomfortable..."

"What then?"

There was a long pause. "You just sounded really cute..." Ivan finally mumbled out.

Pink eyes widened slightly. "You thought I sounded cute?" He blushed more and turned back around.

"Sorry! I—I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable!" Ivan gripped Gilbert's shoulders and pulled him back a little. Gilbert tilted his head back and stared up at Ivan with raised eyebrows.

"Gilbert...?"

"You didn't make me uncomfortable."

"I didn't?" Ivan seemed shocked.

"No, I uh... actually think it's cute that you think I'm cute..."

Ivan smiled a little. He didn't think Gilbert could get any cuter but he did. Leaning down he pressed his lips to Gilbert's cheek.

"Get better soon, okay?" He paused for only a moment. "I want to hug you but I don't want to hurt you."

Gilbert thought. "... you can hug me from behind?" he suggested.

Ivan leaned back, thinking about it. He then wrapped his arms around Gilbert's shoulders, resting his chin on one of them. Nuzzling into the side of Gilbert's head he smiled happily. Gilbert couldn't help but smile as well. He brought a hand up to the side of Ivan's head and slowly twirled a lock of ash-blond hair around a finger.

"Do you want me to massage you more?" Ivan asked.

"If you want..."

Ivan chuckled. "Of course I do. It means I get to touch you more." He placed his hands on Gilbert's back again. "Your skin is so pretty... for a knight, you're not as rough as I would have imagined."

Gilbert rolled his shoulders back as he relaxed once again. "I don't fight face-to-face a lot, and I said before, I... I mostly stand guard..." Gilbert let out a quiet moan.

Ivan leaned down, gliding his hands down Gilbert's arms as he did, and started to kiss the knight's jaw. Gilbert tilted his head to the side, letting Ivan have his neck, and the prince took full advantage of it. Ivan kissed slowly up and down Gilbert's jawline, then moved to his neck where he started to nibble at the soft skin. Gilbert gasped quietly, his cheeks warming up at the new feeling. Pink eyes squeezed shut as he felt the warmth in his face spread to his lower body. Ivan kept biting and sucking the skin until it turned a light pink and became tender and sensitive. He loved the scent buried under Gilbert's neck, it smelled like him, not like medical things, blood, or sweat. Ivan began to lazily lap at the area, as if soothing the spot he'd bitten. Gilbert didn't want it to stop, it felt good and was giving him all the right tingly feelings, but he didn't want Ivan to go too far. If he didn't stop it now, it wouldn't end until they were both completely done.

"Master wait—stop..." Gilbert shied away and held his neck where Ivan had been nibbling.

Ivan pulled him back and simply hugged him. "I know, it's okay." He kissed his cheek. "Don't worry, I can control myself." Ivan took Gilbert's hands, coaxing him to turn around. "How about we go for a walk in the garden? We'll walk slow and take our time." He smiled.

"Didn't the king order you to stay inside?"

"I can't go into town, but I can still wander around my own castle." Ivan chuckled. "Come on, I'll get you dressed up nice and warm and we can go."

"All right, sounds good." Gilbert began to stand up and Ivan helped him, then was led out of the room to find different clothes.

/

After dressing in heavy fur cloaks and Ivan giving Gilbert new black boots, they both walked side-by-side through the garden. Once again Gilbert admired the sunflowers, and Ivan told him he could pick one, and Gilbert answered with the same adorable line as last time, making Ivan blush and his heart soar.

After everything that happened, it was surprising that the atmosphere actually felt calm. The sky was a little dark, looking like it would rain again soon, but the air smelled fresh and the scent of various flowers in the garden filled their noses.

Occasionally a cool breeze would blow and ruffle their hair, and give Gilbert a little shiver. He noticed that it got colder here than it did at his home. He didn't like cold weather, and began to reminisce about being home with his brother.

Ivan noticed the change in Gilbert. The albino started to walk slower and he stared off into the distance. They'd been walking for a while, and were now in an isolated part of the garden, almost completely blocked in by large hedges and a huge tree. Ivan placed his hand on Gilbert's shoulder.

"Gilbe—" The albino jumped almost a mile high, letting out a tiny shriek of surprise. Ivan couldn't help but chuckle. "Sorry. Didn't mean to frighten you."

Gilbert breathed out with a hand over his heart. "No, I'm fine. What is it?" he asked.

"You seem a little distracted, are you all right?"

"Oh... yeah, I'm fine."

Ivan sighed and then grabbed Gilbert's arm, he gently pulled him to the nearby large tree and told him to sit. Gilbert did so, sitting beside Ivan and leaning against the tree.

"No one can hear or see us here. So please talk," Ivan practically begged.

Gilbert was still silent for a moment. He didn't want to bother the prince with his silly thoughts, but he knew that Ivan cared about him so he probably wouldn't think his thoughts were silly.

"I guess I was just thinking about home..."

Ivan tilted his head. "Are you homesick?"

Gilbert shrugged. "Maybe. I've never been away from home this long."

"It's been about two weeks, right?... maybe you're just missing home. That's normal." Ivan smiled. "So what were you thinking about?"

Gilbert looked at him. "My brother, and how a long time ago we'd always enjoy summer around this time. Here it gets cold earlier."

Ivan chuckled. "It does. I'd love to visit your home in the summer. I've heard such nice stories. Some say the lake near your town is crystal clear."

"I don't know about that, but it is beautiful." Gilbert grinned happily. "I used to take Ludwig down there all the time, but I wasn't allowed to swim that often, since I burn in the sun real easily."

Ivan playfully poked the other's cheek. "That's because you're so pale!"

Gilbert lightly swatted his hand away. "Don't mock me. I didn't ask to be pale."

The prince looked confused. "I'm not mocking you... I think you're beautiful. I love your skin." He smiled and leaned close to kiss Gilbert's cheek.

Gilbert flushed lightly and turned away. Whenever Ivan called him beautiful it always made his heart flutter, and a part of him hated that because he got so embarrassed. Ivan didn't let him get away though. The Russian gently held around his waist, holding his hipbone, and softly kissed Gilbert's jaw. He moved a section of the heavy cloak out of the way so he could nibble on the albino's neck again.

"M-Master, wait, stop," Gilbert mumbled, pushing on Ivan's chest with the back of his hands.

Ivan looked at Gilbert, their faces only an inch away. "Is something wrong?"

"I don't feel comfortable doing this outside..."

"You're worried someone will see us?" Gilbert nodded. Ivan smiled and stroked Gilbert's cheek. "Don't worry, this area is safe. No one comes this far back, and it can't be seen from the castle." He kissed his jaw. "But, if you really don't want to, I'll stop." He moved back and leaned against the tree. Gilbert gave him a tiny nervous smile, and the two fell into silence.

After a few minutes, Ivan caught Gilbert looking down at his own hands. His expression was one of irritation, and his silence was more proof that the albino was still annoyed.

"Gilbert, I know something is bothering you. Talk to me."

Gilbert breathed out through his nose, sounding frustrated. "My hands still hurt too bad for me to do anything. I can't even eat or get dressed without help, and I can't take a bath." He pouted. "I'm gonna start smelling soon. I don't like smelling bad."

Ivan chuckled "If you want, I could help you?"

Gilbert looked to him with a somewhat appalled expression. "No way. You're not helping me take a bath." He shot the idea down completely.

"Come on, Gilbert, you just said that you can't do it," Ivan remarked. "I know you have this thing about being naked, but it's me. Don't you trust me?"

Gilbert's expression turned guilty. "Yeah... but, still..."

"I'd just be helping you, that's all."

Gilbert could tell that Ivan was sincere, and he did trust him. He knew Ivan wouldn't do anything weird, but just the idea of fully being naked made him nervous.

Ivan smiled. "Cheer up. You'll get better soon and everything will be fine." Gilbert still tried to be upset, but Ivan kept smiling at him and he just couldn't. A tiny smile appeared on the albino's lips.

"See? Just keep smiling." Ivan placed his hand on the other's shoulder. "Let's go back inside. It looks like it's going to rain."

/

Ivan took Gilbert to his personal washroom. He could tell that Gilbert was nervous by the way he was tensely standing on the opposite side of the room, away from Ivan. He locked the door and went to Gilbert. Gently holding his wrists he kissed his lips.

"Don't worry, Gilbert. There's nothing to be afraid of."

"I'm not scared! I'm just a little nervous!" the albino shouted.

"Shh, I know. It's okay." Ivan smiled and led Gilbert to the side of the bath. "I'm going to undress you now, all right?"

Gilbert gave a weak nod and Ivan began. He started by removing the black knee-high boots, then pulled on the ties of the cloak to loosen it, and then pushed it off of Gilbert's shoulders. Next he removed the shirt, tossing it carelessly to the side. Ivan paused to look at Gilbert's bandages, but Gilbert cleared his throat softly to break his trance. The prince carefully removed the bandages, then stared at Gilbert's half-naked form. Even with the wound, he still thought Gilbert was gorgeous, unlike before when he was sickened by the look of the gash. Nothing could stop him from admiring the pale body. Ivan's cheeks were a light pink in embarrassment as he thought and gazed at Gilbert, but the smile on his lips made the knight feel a bit better about the situation. However, they were only halfway done. The hard part was still to come.

Ivan reached for the ties of Gilbert's pants, but stopped when he heard him inhale sharply. He took a step forward and kissed Gilbert's forehead, staying close to him as he started to work his hands again. Gilbert leaned his head into Ivan's chest, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt his pants becoming looser. There was a gust of cold air on Gilbert's legs and thighs as the pants finally fell to the floor. He still had a pair of shorts on, and Ivan slipped his thumbs under the hem of them. Gilbert then stepped back.

"Wait, um..." He looked up at Ivan with bright red cheeks, but a nervous gleam in his eyes. "You promise you won't do anything...?"

Ivan smiled, stepped forward, and gave Gilbert a sweet, loving kiss. "I promise."

Gilbert once again leaned into Ivan and the prince continued. Gilbert flinched when his shorts fell, leaving him completely naked with Ivan. The Russian gently held around him, rubbing his back softly to soothe him.

"May I look at you...?" Ivan asked quietly. Gilbert nodded weakly and Ivan pulled back. He let his hands slip down Gilbert's arms, holding his wrists, and then gazed at Gilbert's naked form. He was even more beautiful than he thought he'd be. Ivan was sure that he was looking at an angel, so pure and white and flawless.

"You're gorgeous, Gilbert," Ivan muttered out, smiling.

Gilbert turned red in embarrassment from the compliment, but he was still nervous. Having someone staring at his naked body made him feel as if he was on display.

"Come on, let's get you all nice and clean." He turned toward the tub and held Gilbert's arms. Gilbert shakily stepped closer to the bath, then lifted one leg over the side, using Ivan for support. His other leg followed, and Ivan helped him sit down into the water, keeping his still-bandaged hands resting on the sides. Gilbert hissed quietly when the water touched his wound, but it was a pain he quickly got used to. Ivan knelt on the floor beside him and lowered a cloth into the water to wet it, then began to slowly rub it against Gilbert's skin.

At first it made Gilbert uneasy since he'd never been bathed by someone before, and it was his first time being naked in front of anyone. However, after a few minutes, he leaned back and closed his eyes, starting to get more comfortable. It wasn't long before Gilbert was actually enjoying being bathed. The feeling of being rubbed and cleaned by another strangely felt good.

Ivan noticed how content Gilbert had begun to look. He smiled. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Oh yeah," Gilbert breathed out with a little grin on his lips, tilting his head back. "It's nice to be pampered for a change."

Ivan was pleased with his answer. "I'll pamper you all the time if you let me." He paused. "I'll bathe you, massage you, and... pleasure you whenever you want."

Gilbert turned red and opened his eyes to look up at Ivan. Seeing the bright pink blush on the prince's cheeks as well made him smile. It was adorable that Ivan was embarrassed by his own words. Gilbert felt an urge and it completely took him over. Carefully, he reached an injured hand up and hooked a finger in Ivan's scarf. With a soft tug he made the man stumble toward him, and then pressed his lips to the Russian's. Ivan's eyes widened in mild—but pleasant—surprise, not having expected Gilbert to be so bold.

Gripping the side of the tub with his hands, Ivan tilted his head to deepen the kiss and slipped his tongue inside. Gilbert grunted quietly as their tongues touched, but leaned to Ivan and gave into the kiss. Ivan took full advantage of the situation and explored the warm, wet cavern, rubbing the roof of Gilbert's mouth and stroking his tongue with his own to elicit short moans.

The fact that he was naked, and the heat of the kiss, made Gilbert feel a little aroused and that realization hit him. He slowly pulled away, flushed a dark red, and shifted his body to the farthest side of the tub. Ivan looked a little hurt that Gilbert had pulled away, but when he saw that he was retracting his legs to his chest and how flustered he looked, he realized why the albino had stopped.

Attempting to clear the awkward air, Ivan began to rub a cloth on Gilbert's back again, hoping that it'd sooth him and get him to relax. Gilbert glanced to Ivan, seeing the smile on the prince's lips. It made him feel more comfortable and he was able to ignore his previous feelings and enjoy the rest of his bath. Ivan finished rubbing his back, and cupped some water in his hands before pouring it over Gilbert's hair. He ran his fingers through the white locks to clean it as best as he could. Once Ivan was done he helped Gilbert from the bath, wrapped a towel around his shoulders, and gently rubbed them.

"I'm going to have to dry you. Is that okay?"

Gilbert nodded. "I trust you."

Ivan smiled sweetly and kissed Gilbert's cheek. He took a step back and slowly dried Gilbert's arms with the towel. Ivan loved to pamper Gilbert in such a way, even if he was the prince and should be getting baths from his personal "servant," he'd rather do it to Gilbert instead. As far as he could tell Gilbert really enjoyed it too. The way the albino leaned heavily into every touch—almost making it difficult to even dry the man—was extremely cute. It was obvious that it'd been far too long since Gilbert had gotten some pampering.

After he finished drying the soft pale belly, Ivan then glanced down lower. He couldn't help but blush when seeing Gilbert's cock nestled in a tuft of short white strands of hair. Moreso than that, though, he knew that it was time to dry his lower body. He wondered if Gilbert would even let him touch that special part of him which he'd been so shy to show. There was only one way to find out. With his hand covered with the towel, he moved lower and gently palmed Gilbert's cock. To his surprise, Gilbert only gave a quiet gasp. Ivan moved quickly, he didn't want Gilbert to think that he was trying anything. After drying that part, he used both of his hands to dry Gilbert's thighs and legs, rubbing them softly and wiping the little beads of water off the white skin.

Gilbert grew increasingly more embarrassed when Ivan had gotten down on his knees, but luckily the prince didn't spend too much time down there, and he didn't seem interested in arousing Gilbert at all and only focused on drying him. Gilbert was thankful for that; the washroom was not a place he wanted his first sexual encounter to be.

"There." Ivan stood up and smiled. "Oh, I forgot—" He circled around Gilbert and looked down at the pert white rump. "It's cute." He grinned. Ivan was never one to think a person's butt cute, but Gilbert's definitely was. Everything about the man was cute.

"Hey!" Gilbert reddened.

"Sorry sorry," Ivan apologized halfheartedly and began to lightly rub Gilbert's rear, solely for the purpose of drying it.

For some reason unknown to him, Gilbert felt more embarrassed about Ivan drying his behind than his front. The touch was extremely soft; like Ivan was paying attention and making sure he got every drop of water. It was sweet, but it was making Gilbert blush more. Not because he was getting aroused, he actually wasn't, but because it was just embarrassing. However, he quickly noticed a change in the way Ivan was moving his hands. He was... spreading the cheeks little by little. Suddenly, Gilbert felt his hole open just a little and he gasped.

"Stop spreading it!" he shouted, glaring over his shoulder but looking too embarrassed to be threatening.

Ivan just smiled. He stopped his teasing and simply kept drying. He knew what he was doing. He wanted to tease Gilbert a little bit and see how far he'd let him go, and he'd gotten further than he thought he'd get. Once he was fully done he lazily threw the towel over a chair in the room. He quickly used another towel to dry Gilbert's hair, then wrapped Gilbert in nothing but his fur cloak. Ivan loved how fur looked on Gilbert, and the fact that Gilbert had nothing under that fur was something Ivan liked very much.

"Let's go back to my room," Ivan said.

"For what...?"

Ivan chuckled and stroked Gilbert's hair. "Relax. You're too injured to do anything yet. We'll just hang out. Maybe I'll give you another massage." He giggled.

Gilbert pouted. "Fine... Can I wear actual clothes?"

Ivan took a glance up and down Gilbert's form. "No, I like you like this. You should dress in fur or nothing at all." His comment made Gilbert blush, which he loved even more. Ivan put his hand on Gilbert's back, then led him to the exit.

[A Week Later]

As promised, Ivan gave Gilbert massages every day when he helped change his bandages. These events were always followed up by a hot and heavy make-out session, but Ivan would always stop when Gilbert showed the smallest sign of uncertainty. He didn't want Gilbert to be even remotely unsure. He wanted Gilbert to want him with all his might so that there was no room for regret later. Gilbert's nervousness and shy nature were dwindling down as the week passed, and he was becoming much more bold whenever they kissed. Sometimes, Gilbert would be the one to deepen the kisses, slipping his tongue inside to taste Ivan instead.

Over the course of a week, Gilbert had become comfortable with Ivan. His wound had nearly completely healed, with just a scab still marking the area. It didn't hurt anymore, and he got a doctor's approval to not have to wear those annoying bandages anymore, which was his favorite part about the whole thing. Thanks to this, Ivan could get even closer to his albino interest, and Gilbert had no qualms about it either.

Every night, after the rest of the castle was fast asleep, they'd go for their usual walk to their secluded place where they'd talk and kiss for an hour or so. Tonight was no different. Except, Ivan wanted to move forward with Gilbert. Every time they'd kiss and get hot, Ivan would stop the moment he thought Gilbert was uncertain. It was getting hard—painful even—to stop when aroused and aching for the other.

Ivan led Gilbert to their tree. Instead of pinning the albino against the bark like he usually did, he sat himself down.

With a smile he softly commanded, "Sit." When Gilbert went to sit next to him, he shook his head and then patted his thigh. "Sit," he repeated. Gilbert finally understood what he meant. Ivan held out his hands to him and the albino took them. He sat down on Ivan's lap, straddling him. Ivan wrapped his arms around Gilbert's lower back and pulled him forward so that their bodies were nearly flush against each other. Ivan adored the light blush on Gilbert's cheeks. He was still a bit shy and that was perfectly fine. Ivan didn't want that shyness to go away completely.

Starting with sweet kisses, Ivan pressed his lips to the corner of Gilbert's mouth, giving him several short kisses that made the knight nearly giggle. Gilbert was always embarrassed about how he'd giggle—thought it wasn't very "knightly" of him—but Ivan loved every little sound he made. It didn't take long for Gilbert to reciprocate though. The albino returned each kiss to Ivan, which led to them kissing each other fully. Ivan slid his hands up Gilbert's back, rubbing through the thick fur and pulling him closer, while Gilbert's hands were on Ivan's neck and shoulders as they kissed. The cuts on Gilbert's hands had healed quicker than the stab wound, and he never realized just how much he loved touching Ivan until he was able to do it again.

Everything around them seemed smaller – quieter. Like they were the only ones around. All they could hear was the other's breathing, soft gasping when they parted for a millisecond, the sound of their lips smacking lightly, and the quiet rustling of leaves above them. The air grew a bit chillier and the wind began to pick up.

Ivan pulled back an inch to look at the night sky. "Feels like it's going to rain." He stopped to kiss Gilbert. "If it starts to then we'll—"

"Then we'll get wet." Gilbert gave him an eager kiss, holding the prince's jaw firmly in his hands.

Ivan couldn't refuse that, and a few minutes and some passionate, slow kisses later, a heavy rain started to fall. The drops fell through the leaves and branches and dripped onto their heads and shoulders. The cold breeze, thick air, and cold droplets of water on their skin seemed to fuel them both, making the atmosphere feel electrifying.

The prince slipped his tongue inside, clashing together with Gilbert's. The muscles swirled around each other, rubbing until Gilbert was grunting cutely in Ivan's lap. Ivan expected the little moans that followed soon after, but he didn't expect what Gilbert did next. The albino started to needily rock his hips against him, his once quiet moans now growing louder. Ivan continued the deep kiss, pulling Gilbert closer and grinding their bodies together. The prince soon felt Gilbert's semi-erection poking against him, and it took all his strength to stop.

"Should we go back inside...?" he asked with an implicative tone, letting his hands slip down to Gilbert's rump.

Gilbert blushed dark, realizing what the prince meant. "No, I—I'm fine." He buried his face into Ivan's neck.

Seeing Gilbert suddenly turn so shy and nervous sent a pang of guilt through Ivan's being. He hadn't done anything wrong, but Gilbert wasn't quite ready for more. The worst part of it was that Gilbert himself wanted to continue and go further, and Ivan knew it as well.

Ivan held Gilbert close as the rain poured down on them. Gilbert's hair was soaked and sticking flat to the shape of his skull, whereas Ivan's was curling up in various directions. Their fur cloaks were getting heavy with rain too, which would lead to a cold for both of them if they weren't careful.

"Gilbert, we really should go inside. I don't want you getting sick..."

"All right..." Gilbert moved back a little, still looking embarrassed.

"It's okay, Gilbert, don't worry about it." Ivan knew exactly what was wrong.

"But I want to do it!" Gilbert growled angrily. "I don't want to be nervous anymore!"

Ivan smiled with a chuckle, then stroked Gilbert's cheek. "If you want to get over a fear, you just have to face it," he stated. "You trust me, and I promise if you get too uncomfortable, I'll stop. I won't force you, but if you want to get over this, you need to endure it for a little bit."

Gilbert didn't want to admit that he was a little frightened. Intimacy wasn't like fighting a battle, and he still wasn't too skilled in romance, though thanks to Ivan he had a little bit of experience under his belt. He trusted Ivan with his body, and he wanted to know what it felt like to have him touch it.

"Let's go back inside..." Gilbert mumbled.

Ivan stood up immediately, picking Gilbert up with him with his legs around his waist.

"W-Wait! Put me down!" the smaller male shouted. "We can't walk inside like this!"

Ivan pouted but placed Gilbert on his feet. "I like holding you though..."

Gilbert crossed his arms, pretending to be irritated to hide his flustered state. "You can hold me when we're back inside," he grumbled.

Ivan smiled brightly and then kissed Gilbert's cheek. He placed his hand on Gilbert's back and then led him inside.

/

Gilbert realized that Ivan was leading him to his room, and it made him a little nervous. It was unusual for Ivan since he never brought Gilbert to his own room, aside from that one night. He felt a lump in his throat, and he became anxious for whatever was going to happen behind that closed door. He wanted it, of course, but the first time for anything is always a little scary.

Once inside the prince's room, Ivan locked the door and lit a few candles near the bed, which gave the room a cozy, romantic atmosphere. Ivan turned back to Gilbert and felt that guilt again. The way Gilbert was standing, his facial expression, everything about him screamed that he was uncertain. He just couldn't bring himself to do anything to Gilbert tonight. If the albino regretted it even just a little bit, Ivan would never forgive himself.

Ivan smiled as he walked to the other. "Let's change out of these wet rags, okay?" He took Gilbert's hand.

"Yes, Master Ivan," Gilbert droned as if he'd been brainwashed. Ivan looked at him with eyes wide in slight horror, then tilted Gilbert's chin up with a single finger.

"Just call me Ivan when we're alone like this." Gilbert looked a little surprised. "Calling me 'Master' in a situation like this... makes me feel like I own you. I don't like it."

"Really? It's okay for me to?" Ivan nodded.

"Go on, say it."

Gilbert hesitated, still unsure if it was really all right. "... Ivan."

The prince's face lit up with a bright smile. "Yes! That's better, I like it!" He pulled Gilbert to him and kissed him. "I love hearing you say my name." Gilbert blushed a tiny bit. "And this time I promise you won't get stabbed after saying it." He winked.

Gilbert's eyes flattened in annoyance. "It's been just over a week. Are we already gonna make jokes about how I nearly died because you stopped to have a snack?" He crossed his arms.

Now there was the Gilbert Ivan knew and loved! Defiant and mouthy even to a prince! Ivan chuckled and ran his hand through Gilbert's wet hair.

"Let's get you dried off, okay?" He asked a question but didn't actually want an answer. He ignored Gilbert's previous comment about his stabbing, which seemed to irritate the albino even further since he was ignored. Ivan didn't mind, though, if it made Gilbert anything besides nervous. Ivan got a long red robe from his closet.

"Here, you can wear this to bed." He held it up to display it proudly to Gilbert.

"Isn't that a woman's sleeping gown?" A pale brow rose. Ivan looked at the clothing, then nodded at Gilbert. "I don't want to wear that! It's got ruffles and lace on the sleeves!" Ivan paced to him with no expression on his face, which startled Gilbert.

"This was my mother's," Ivan stated. "When she died, we were going to get rid of all of her stuff, but I kept a box of her favorite clothing. She was very pale like you, and red was her favorite color. I want you to wear it."

Gilbert felt a bit guilty for previously shooting down the offer to wear it, but if it was important to Ivan, then he would.

"All right." Gilbert took a step closer and reached for the gown, but Ivan pulled it away.

"I want to dress you."

"What am I, a doll?"

"The most beautiful one I've ever seen." The prince grinned mischievously and poked Gilbert's nose. Gilbert pretended to be irritated again but just couldn't when Ivan acted so cute.

Ivan removed Gilbert's rain-filled cloak and simply tossed it to the floor. Gilbert was comfortable with Ivan taking his clothes off, even though the only time he saw him naked was a few times during the week to help him bathe. He had never been naked in a purely romantic or sexual sense, but he felt that it was getting closer.

Gilbert's skin was a little damp from the clothes, but it would dry quickly. Once he was bare, Ivan stood back, tilted his head, and just admired the perfect body. Gilbert stayed still, feeling a little awkward for having Ivan just stare at him.

"Hold out your arms," Ivan suddenly spoke. Gilbert did so and Ivan slid the gown's sleeves over the thin arms, then helped the neck hole over Gilbert's head. The red gown fell over Gilbert's body down to his ankles.

Ivan smiled at him for a moment and then went to change himself. He removed all of his clothing and Gilbert watched him. For the first time Gilbert really let himself admire Ivan's body, even if he could only see his backside. It embarrassed him, but he really liked how strong and big Ivan looked. The prince only dressed in a pair of pants, and then went to his bed. He lay down and then patted the area next to him.

"Come sleep with me tonight."

Gilbert didn't move from his spot. "You promise you won't try anything?"

"I won't. Don't you trust me?" Ivan looked sad.

Gilbert trod to the bed and stood beside it. "I do... but I can't help it. I know what you want."

Ivan sat up against the headboard. "Tell me. What do I want?"

Gilbert looked stumped for a moment. "You want to have sex with me, right?"

Ivan's expression got even sadder. "I do, but that's not all I want. I want you. That's it. Whatever comes with having you I'll take, but I just want you by my side."

The knight took a shaky breath, feeling ashamed for thinking that Ivan only wanted his body. He climbed up onto the lush bed, kneeling on his hands and knees beside Ivan, and gave the prince a firm kiss. Ivan smiled into the kiss, then held the back of Gilbert's head, feeling the damp strands of white tangle around his fingers.

When they parted Ivan brushed his knuckles along Gilbert's cheek. "Lay with me. I want you to sleep with me every night from now on."

"What if someone finds out?" Gilbert asked as he lay down.

"Then I'll tell them to keep their mouth shut." Ivan smiled almost eerily as he rested down beside Gilbert. He wrapped his arms around the smaller man's waist and pulled him closer, nuzzling his nose into his hair to breathe in his scent, not minding that it was still a little wet. Ivan was pleasantly surprised when Gilbert snuggled into him and even wrapped an arm around him.

"You're like a cuddly little bunny!" Ivan beamed and squeezed Gilbert tight.

"A bunny?" Gilbert wheezed in Ivan's grip.

Ivan nodded and looked down at the albino. "You remind me of a bunny because of how you're cuddling me. You're pure white like a snowshoe hare too! Also..." he shifted his eyes away mischievously, grinning, "when you were on my lap earlier, you almost looked like a bouncing bunny in heat!'

Gilbert flushed dark red and hid his face. "Shut up! It's not my fault!" he shouted from under the blanket. Ivan slowly pulled the blanket down to reveal Gilbert's blushing face.

"I know. It's my fault." He gently kissed Gilbert's forehead. "I drive you crazy, don't I?"

"No! You just happen to be someone I like a lot who—" he stopped himself and turned over on his side, facing away from Ivan.

Ivan leaned closer. "Gilbert...? What's wrong? Why did you stop talking?"

"It's embarrassing..."

Ivan rubbed his shoulder. "It's okay, you can tell me."

Gilbert didn't want to say it, but felt bad for not telling Ivan. "It's just... I've never actually been close like this with someone. I've thought people were attractive before, but I've never been able to get close to them..." he said. "I guess all the years of wanting it are finally surfacing, so I've been feeling... really excited lately..."

Ivan smiled softly and wrapped his arms around Gilbert tight, pulling the smaller male against his front.

"You're adorable, you know that?" Ivan whispered near Gilbert's ear. "Don't feel ashamed for being embarrassed or aroused or anything. Let it all out."

Gilbert bit his lip, blushing more. He didn't say anything else, any words he wanted to say caught in his throat and he just curled up and let Ivan cuddle him. However, he began to feel something press against his rump. He had to think for a second to figure out what it was, and when he did he turned as red as a rose.

"Ivan..." Gilbert spoke his name with shaky nervousness.

"I know," Ivan answered and hugged Gilbert tighter. "Just ignore it. It'll go away."

That's what Ivan said, but it didn't happen. Minutes passed and Ivan only got harder, and feeling it against his rear was starting to make Gilbert feel aroused as well. He couldn't take it anymore and quickly sat up, looking flustered.

"Okay you have to get rid of that," Gilbert demanded. He was embarrassed, but he also felt a little guilty for always making them stop whenever things would get hot.

Ivan moved the covers off. "All right, I'll go take care of it." He started to scoot off the bed, when suddenly Gilbert stopped him by grabbing his arm.

"No wait!" Gilbert's cheeks burned brighter. "I... I'll do it."

Ivan's eyes widened, but he didn't refuse. The prince lay back and got comfortable. He undid his pants as Gilbert sat nearby, waiting nervously. Ivan realized that Gilbert was doing what he said – facing his fear. Ivan only hoped that Gilbert really did want to do it. He pushed his pants down to his knees, revealing himself to Gilbert for the first time.

The look on Gilbert's face was almost hysterical. He looked appalled but too curious to look away. Ivan was... well-endowed to say the least. His girth was what really made Gilbert stare in shock. The man wasn't even fully erect and Gilbert could practically feel his jaw aching just from looking at it.

"Surprised?" Ivan asked, trying not to sound too cocky, for lack of a better word.

"Yeah huh!" Gilbert turned his wide pink eyes to Ivan's face. "What the fuck is this? A log!?"

Ivan laughed and grinned. "Never seen one this big before?"

"Well I've only ever seen mine and I'm definitely not that big."

"No you're not."

Gilbert glared. "Well yours looks like an angry monster surrounded by that dark hair. Like a bear."

Ivan chuckled. "Bears don't eat rabbits," he spoke suggestively.

Gilbert hated that he blushed more. He didn't reply and looked down at the thing he was supposedly going to take care of.

"You don't have to do anything if you don't want to, Gilbert."

Pink eyes shifted back to him. "No, I want to... just—don't rush me. I've never done this before, so..."

"I understand. Take your time." Ivan leaned back to get comfortable.

Gilbert nervously leaned down so he was eye-level with the erection, and wrapped his hand around the base. Ivan breathed in at the cold touch, but it didn't seem to bother Gilbert. He twisted his hand a little, then, with his free hand, poked at the tip where a bead of pre-cum was leaking out. Ivan could laugh at the cat-like curiosity Gilbert was showing, but any laugh he might have made was replaced with a soft gasp when Gilbert gave an experimental lick to the tip. Tasting Ivan on his tongue, Gilbert licked his lips to wet them. The taste wasn't terrible, but it would definitely take getting used to. He knew the head was sensitive, so he began to poke his tongue against the area just under the head. Gilbert then slowly took the head into his mouth. Ivan tensed a little but it only seemed to give Gilbert some confidence that he needed, knowing that at that moment Ivan was completely at his mercy. He paid special attention to the underside, rubbing his tongue firmly against it as his hand twisted around the base.

The prince tilted his head back with a moan. Gilbert's mouth was hot and sweet around him and he wished that Gilbert would push himself further and take more of the Russian in. He didn't want to force Gilbert, though, so he just sat back and enjoyed as Gilbert licked and sucked lightly on the head of his cock.

Gilbert thought he was getting the hang of it since Ivan was grunting and moaning quietly above him. It was nice to hear, and it let him know that he was doing a decent job. He still felt a little nervous, and things were starting to get a little sloppy. His saliva was building up and almost dripping down the side of Ivan's skin. Seeing Ivan fully hard and feeling him throbbing in his hand turned Gilbert on, and he had to squeeze his legs together in an attempt to hide it.

"Gilbert," Ivan's husky voice filled his ears, "take off your gown." Gilbert hadn't stopped at the mention of his name but when he heard the command, he halted immediately and removed his mouth.

"What...?" Ivan saw the uncertainty in Gilbert's eyes.

"I want to pleasure you too." Gilbert sat motionless between Ivan's legs, still feeling nervous. "Forget taking the gown off. Just... turn around."

"What?" Gilbert's eyes went wide with fear.

"We're going to suck each other. Together."

Gilbert's face was burning hot, and he wasn't sure what made him start to move. He lifted his leg over Ivan's body so he was sitting backward on him. Ivan gently gripped his hips and lifted him a little, then pushed the gown up his legs so it bunched around his waist. Gilbert was incredibly embarrassed to have his naked rump right in Ivan's face, but he tried to ignore that fact as best he could.

Ivan grinned. "It looks kind of like a lychee, just longer or something."

"Shut up!" Gilbert punched Ivan's leg, though not hard enough to hurt. The prince didn't stop his teasing. He rubbed his hands over the perfect round white lumps of flesh.

"What a wonderful view I have..." He heard Gilbert groan in irritation and embarrassment. Ivan tapped the other organs hanging there. "And these look like snowballs." He chuckled when Gilbert visibly twitched.

"Yeah well, your dick looks like a—AH!" Gilbert gasped out and collapsed his upper body down when Ivan took a "snowball" into his mouth and started to suck. Gilbert lifted his body up and peeked between his legs. Ivan saw him and stopped, then winked at him with a grin, and slowly licked his cock as he watched. The sight embarrassed Gilbert to the core but the feeling made him shudder with delight. However, there was a matter that still required his attention, though it was hard to concentrate with Ivan lazily licking his erection. It was the first time Gilbert had ever been touched in such a way, and part of him wanted to be selfish and just let Ivan pleasure him. Choosing not to be, he looked back to the erection standing proudly in front of him, and slowly took it into his mouth again.

Ivan's senses sparked when he felt Gilbert taking more of him inside, but he wanted to hear Gilbert more than anything else. Suddenly Ivan sat up, forcing Gilbert to remove his mouth, and then bluntly flipped the albino over onto his back. Without asking, Ivan pulled the rest of the gown off, which left Gilbert gasping and looking worried of Ivan's intentions. In the process of moving his body, Ivan had kicked off his pants, leaving them both fully naked with each other. He knew that Gilbert was scared now, and he wanted to relieve him of that stress. He moved up the pale body and took a pink nipple into his mouth, pulling a gasp from Gilbert, and licked at it until it hardened. The feeling was strange but Gilbert grew to like it very much, and after Ivan gave it a soft bite, he started to nibble and suck on the skin beside it, leaving the area red. He smiled at his work, but noticed that Gilbert was still looking nervous. He leaned down to kiss Gilbert's belly.

"Try not to scream my name, okay? If anyone hears you, we're both in trouble."

Gilbert watched with frightened eyes, still unsure of what Ivan was doing. The prince kissed down the pale stomach until he reached the tuft of white hair. He nuzzled his nose into it, feeling his cock twitch with lust just from the scent alone, and then moved lower. Ivan returned to Gilbert's erection and took all of him into his mouth. The albino jolted up in surprise and had to cover his mouth to keep from shrieking out. The pale body fell back down and writhed against the sheets as a series of his pleasured moans and grunts filled the room. Ivan sucked tightly and bobbed his head quickly; rubbing his tongue everywhere he could reach. Ivan decided to change pace and started to leave a trail of hot, wet kisses up and down his length. Each one was like a shock of pleasure that made Gilbert flinch and gasp. After enough of the kisses, Ivan took Gilbert in until the tip touched the back of his throat. He moaned around the tip, making little vibrations surge through Gilbert's cock. The sensations coursing through him made Gilbert dig his head back into the blankets and arch his hips up, wanting to shove himself deeper into Ivan's mouth. Ivan thought it was cute but pushed Gilbert's hips back down to the bed to assert his control. Gilbert's eyes were dazedly glued to the ceiling, looking like he'd gotten the wind knocked out of him or he'd seen something shocking. He couldn't look down, it was embarrassing enough just to hear the sounds that Ivan's warm mouth was making, but what little he did see only made his face burn so hot that he felt faint. Ivan didn't let up at all and showed no signs of getting tired either, and Gilbert had to bite his lip until he broke the skin to keep from moaning Ivan's name. He never imagined that being sucked off would feel like this. The fantasies he would have of the knights he grew up with didn't do the real thing justice at all. Thin pale fingers dug deep into the duvet at his sides as he felt a pressure building up in his groin. The heat throughout his body made him feel dizzy as sweat began layering on his torso and legs, his belly heaving up and down with his ragged breath. The pleasure was on the verge of being painful and he started to whimper over and over as he got closer to the edge. He felt his skin prickling and his eyes were watering from the slight pain, but then there was a huge relief and he cried out softly as he felt the pressure die down. Every bit of tension drained from his body and he went limp on the bed, panting heavily. His eyes were wide and fixed straight above him, his mouth was agape with a little bit of saliva trickling from one corner of his mouth, and his cheeks were flushed a bright pink like his nipples.

Ivan had swallowed every drop of Gilbert, and lapped the tip to "clean" him. He let Gilbert rest for a few minutes, seeing that Gilbert was in shock and fully enjoying the afterglow. Ivan couldn't help but wonder how Gilbert would react to sex if this was how he reacted to oral.

"Did you like that?" Ivan asked as he crawled over Gilbert's body.

Gilbert blinked his eyes. His eyelids drooped, showing his exhaustion. "That was... amazing... I never—" he gasped softly to catch his breath, "never imagined it'd feel like that..."

Ivan chuckled and stroked Gilbert's cheek. "You can't even catch your breath. It's so cute." He sat beside the still-panting albino.

Gilbert lifted his hand and weakly punched Ivan. He couldn't really retort, and he couldn't help but smile crookedly up at the prince. After a moment Gilbert looked down a little and saw that Ivan was still fully erect. It hadn't even occurred to him before that Ivan completely ignored his own pleasure to take full care of him. That fact made Gilbert want to return the favor more than ever.

Shakily Gilbert knelt on his knees and moved over top of Ivan. It surprised Ivan and he put a hand on the albino's shoulder.

"You don't have to, Gilbert..." The albino then looked up at him.

"I know... but I want to," Gilbert answered and lowered his head. Ivan didn't reply. If Gilbert wanted to, he couldn't tell him no.

The knight seemed determined yet was moving slow. His tongue licked over the tip, rubbing against the slit with some pressure. Slowly he took Ivan's erection into his mouth. He couldn't take it all so he used one hand to rub the base as he bobbed his head. Ivan moaned lowly. He'd waited so long to feel Gilbert's mouth around him, but he couldn't last with how slow Gilbert was going. It felt so heavenly, but the buildup of orgasm was quickly creeping up on him. He gave a soft grunt and came into Gilbert's mouth. He didn't have time to enjoy the afterglow when he heard Gilbert gag. The albino was completely taken by surprise when the warm liquid filled his mouth. He didn't have time to really think about it and his natural reaction was to start coughing, which is exactly what he did. Ivan felt his cum splatter onto his belly and thighs. He placed a hand on Gilbert's head, making the albino look up at him, who had shame etched onto his face.

"You did good," Ivan said and used a section of the duvet to wipe his cum from Gilbert's face, which a great deal of was dripping from both corners of his mouth. Ivan thought he looked amusing, but he knew that if he laughed, Gilbert would feel even worse.

Gilbert narrowed his eyes a bit. "But I didn't swallow..."

"That's all right. It was your first time, and..." He looked down at himself. "I uh, I came a lot..." His cheeks turned pink. "Sorry..."

Gilbert gave a little smile. "Don't worry about it. Though you did nearly choke me."

Ivan returned the smile. "I'm sorry." He rubbed Gilbert's skin with the duvet more.

"The blanket's ruined now..."

"I have others. Once I get us cleaned up, I'll get a new blanket and then we can sleep. You look tired." Gilbert was silent for a few seconds as Ivan finished cleaning his face. When the prince moved to clean himself, Gilbert spoke up.

"Am I really allowed to sleep with you?"

Ivan looked at him, completely confused. "Of course you are. I'm not going to pleasure you and then kick you out. I want to hold you afterward and fall asleep with you in my arms!" Gilbert blushed lightly. "Now, get up. I have to change the blanket." Gilbert got off the bed and sat in a nearby chair. Ivan removed the dirtied blanket and threw it aside like he did with their clothing. He gathered a large fur blanket that looked much like the cloaks they wore, and then splayed it onto the bed. Gilbert instantly went to the bed and lay on his stomach, smiling cutely at Ivan.

Ivan sighed with a grin. "What are you doing? You can't act so sexy like this, I'll want to eat you right up!" Gilbert rolled onto his back.

"Eat me," he invited. Ivan crawled onto the bed, lay beside him, and ghosted his fingertips on Gilbert's belly.

"I would, but you should really sleep. It's late and your eyes are telling me how tired you are." He leaned in to kiss Gilbert's lips, and then pulled the blanket around the albino. "There's plenty of time for me to eat you, my little snowbunny."

Gilbert pouted and blushed at the nickname, but showed a little appreciation for it by snuggling into Ivan's body. Their legs tangled together loosely and their arms wrapped around each other's body. Gilbert loved the skin-to-skin contact. As good as the pleasure felt, he didn't think anything could compare to the feeling of having someone to hold afterward. He wasn't nervous about his body anymore, and he was fully okay with being naked with Ivan, he trusted him more than anyone now. There was a part of him that didn't want to close his eyes, because that meant the night would end and he'd have to wake up and just be Ivan's protector again. Until the following night.

A thought entered his mind. What would happen when the threat to Ivan's life was dealt with? Would he have to go home? Gilbert didn't believe that he was in love, but he definitely felt something for the prince and the thought of leaving made him upset. However, he was too lost in Ivan's warmth to care. As far as he knew, there were plenty of people who still wanted Ivan dead, and that meant that Gilbert got to stay right where he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks for reading!**  
>  If you like this fic, please let me know with a comment! It's what keeps us writers going!
> 
> Follow me on [**twitter**](https://twitter.com/squeakster_) for personal/fanfic updates!


	9. My Valiant Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Originally posted November 13, 2014**

Pink eyes slid open to meet purple. Ivan being so close startled Gilbert and he shifted back a little. The prince was smiling at him, staring for a few seconds before he leaned in and kissed Gilbert. The kiss was deep and passionate. Ivan pushed his tongue inside and tasted him, rubbing their tongues together roughly to cause Gilbert to moan. Once Ivan felt like he'd knocked the breath out of him, he pulled back. He licked at Gilbert's bottom lip and then grinned at how red his cheeks were.

Gilbert shifted. He felt a little shy after the kiss, but a chill ran through his body and he realized that he was nude. The realization didn't worry him as much once the sleep fogging his mind cleared and he remembered the night before. As he shifted he began to notice that Ivan's passionate morning kiss had caused his lower regions to stir.

Ivan noticed the look Gilbert got on his face in that moment and he couldn't help but grin. He crawled over Gilbert, pushed him onto his back, and then rested his body down on top of the other. The touching of bare skin made Gilbert shiver, even though their bodies were both warm. That warmth gained a new level when Ivan began to rock his hips in a slow motion, causing their cocks to rub together. Ivan loved how Gilbert was already fighting back his little moans. The man was still so tired but so horny too. Ivan loved driving him crazy in such a way.

"I want to stay like this forever, Gilbie..." Ivan whispered into Gilbert's neck, who offered no reply except in the form of a needy whimper. Ivan rested his full weight on Gilbert, almost crushing the breath out of him. How the heat transferred effortlessly due to the lack of clothing was a feeling that Ivan adored to no end.

"Ah..." Ivan grinned, "I felt something." He rocked his hips with more pressure. Gilbert's breathing hitch as their growing erections rubbed between their bodies. "Should I take care of that for you?"

He didn't wait for an answer and started kissing down Gilbert's chest. He stopped to give some attention to the healed wound by kissing it with care, but he heard Gilbert groan so he decided to move on. Ivan disappeared under the blanket and ghosted his lips down to Gilbert's groin. He nuzzled his nose into the patch of white hair, feeling Gilbert's sensitive skin twitch under his touch and his hips shift. He adored how honest Gilbert's body was. Even without speaking, Gilbert was asking him for more.

Ivan felt less mean that morning and decided to not keep Gilbert waiting. With one swift movement he took Gilbert's entire cock into his mouth, then began bobbing his head as his tongue rubbed against the underside. Gilbert arched his back with gasps and sounds of pleasure escaping his mouth. After a short time, pale fingers gripped into the blanket where Ivan's head was.

"Ivan..." Gilbert moaned, "Ivan please, please..." his voice got quiet and desperate. Ivan knew the tone of his voice and he moved even quicker. Doing so caused Gilbert to say Ivan's name over and over with even more desperation. His body trembled for a few seconds and then stiffened. He reached his orgasm with a shudder, and then went limp on the bed as he panted heavily. Ivan swallowed every drop and sucked until Gilbert was dry, then moved back up to see Gilbert's flushed pink face.

"That was quick," he teased.

"Shut up..." Gilbert groaned.

"You got louder too. You don't seem embarrassed to cry out my name."

"Well NOW I am!" Gilbert's cheeks turned dark red. "I can't help it when you're doing those things!"

Ivan shushed him with a soft kiss. "It's okay. I like that you're so comfortable with me that you don't realize what you're doing." He smiled.

Gilbert looked away, still feeling embarrassed about how vocal he was. Ivan rested his body down on the albino again, but lifted his hips just a little and began to pump his cock. Gilbert finally looked back and watched Ivan's expression as he pleasured himself. Unable to resist, Gilbert moved his hand down as well and held around Ivan's erection, making the prince stop. Ivan smiled, removed his own hand, and kissed Gilbert's cheek, then felt the hand on him begin to move.

Ivan wasn't as loud as Gilbert, but he still made a lot of noise. His sounds came out in low groans and moans that vibrated deeply in the back of his throat. He sounded almost like a wild animal, and Gilbert wouldn't admit that he loved it. After some minutes of hot and heavy breathing, Ivan came with a deep moan, covering Gilbert's stomach with his cum.

The prince rolled to the side and looked at Gilbert. "We should start every morning like this." He kissed Gilbert's forehead.

"Except now I have to take a bath because you're all over my stomach." Gilbert flattened his eyes, pretending to be annoyed.

Ivan chuckled. "Not just your stomach. There's still some in your hair from last night."

Gilbert's cheeks turned pink and he touched his hair, feeling around. He grinned crookedly when he felt something dried on his hair.

"That's all right," Ivan spoke as he got up from the bed, "We'll just take a nice bath together to wash ourselves!"

Gilbert sat up, wrapping the blanket around himself. "Can we just take a bath, and not do anything else in there?"

Ivan looked at him for a moment and then smiled. He went to him and held the smaller hands in his. "Of course. I'll get the bath ready, and I'll call you in a few minutes." Ivan kissed Gilbert's forehead again and then left to his private washroom.

Gilbert lay back down on the bed as he waited, and started to think how surreal the situation was. He almost couldn't believe that he'd gotten so close to the prince, and remembered how on the first night he thought it'd be good to just be Ivan's friend. He had no idea that he'd grow so close to him, especially to the point of being sexual with him. Thinking about it made Gilbert smile. It was a little funny to him how he once thought Ivan was creepy and didn't trust him, and now he had been almost as vulnerable as he could be with him. The only thing next he could think of was sex, and as much as he was excited and wanted it, it was a little frightening. Not just for the pain, but if someone had even the slightest suspicion of their sexual interactions, Gilbert would be punished.

Soon Ivan peeked into his room. "Gilbert, the bath is ready." Gilbert got up and walked to the washroom, completely naked, and joined Ivan.

Ivan helped Gilbert into the tub first, and then sat against the opposite side He held out his arms, inviting Gilbert to come to him. Gilbert crawled toward him, turned around between his legs, and leaned back against his front. The albino closed his eyes, sighing lightly.

"What are you thinking about?" Ivan asked softly, rubbing up and down Gilbert's arms.

The smaller male smiled a little. "You," he answered. The simple answer made Ivan's heart soar and his cheeks turn pink.

"You're so cute..." He kissed into the back of the white hair. "What are you thinking about of me?"

Gilbert hesitated. "How different you are from what people say, and how I actually thought you were before I came here."

"Oh..."

"You're so much nicer, and sweeter." Gilbert nuzzled back against Ivan's chest.

Ivan wrapped his arms around Gilbert's slim waist. "And you're just as confident and cocky as the rumors say," he teased.

"Hey! I was being all sweet and mushy and you just had to go and ruin it!" Gilbert pouted.

Ivan squeezed the smaller man in his arms and kissed the pale neck. "I'm sorry." He continued to leave ghosting kisses along Gilbert's skin. Gilbert found it very hard to stay mad—even pretend mad—at Ivan when he kissed him so sweetly. He gave a soft moan and Ivan pulled away from him. Gilbert was about to question why, but then he remembered that he asked Ivan not to do anything with him in the bath. He knew when he started to moan, it was hard for Ivan to resist making him make more of those beautiful sounds. Instead, Ivan settled for rubbing Gilbert's skin. Starting with Gilbert's arms, then moving down to the pale stomach where he fully cleaned off the cum from earlier. He started to touch his fingertips on Gilbert's thighs, but pulled away when he felt him squirm. Ivan gave a kiss behind Gilbert's ear, then cupped some water in his hands. Without warning he poured the water onto Gilbert's head and began rubbing his fingers through the white locks. Gilbert loved the feeling, as he leaned back and moaned softly in appreciation. Ivan poured a few more palm-fulls of water on Gilbert's head, cleaning his hair until he didn't feel anything in it anymore.

"There, all clean." Ivan nuzzled his nose into Gilbert's cheek.

Gilbert then turned around and sat facing Ivan. "Now we're going to clean you." He smiled and cupped some water in his hand like Ivan did and rubbed through his hair as well. As he did, Ivan leaned closer until their lips touched. Gilbert's fingers gripped slightly in Ivan's hair as the prince brought him closer. After a minute of the sweet kiss, Ivan pulled back and took Gilbert's hands into his. He looked at them, seeing the lines of scars spanning the width of his palms. Gilbert saw the look on Ivan's face and tilted his head to give him a kiss.

"Don't worry about it. I'm all healed," he assured him.

"You're sure? You're not just saying that?"

"Yes I'm sure, I'm fine."

Ivan sighed. "I'm glad... my father is not happy about this whole thing."

"He wanted to send me home, right?"

Ivan nodded. "He had a letter written out to your king and everything. He was ready to not only get rid of you, but make sure you were stripped of your status as a knight too. He's really not happy with you."

"Wow... I guess he'd be really upset if he saw us now."

Ivan chuckled a little. "Yeah, you probably wouldn't be here too much longer after that."

Gilbert smiled. "Then we'll just have to be careful." He playfully kissed Ivan's lips.

"You're so cute! But you can't be teasing me like this!" Ivan wiggled. "Besides, we have to get ready, and it's already getting late."

"What are we getting ready for?"

Ivan leaned back, looking hesitant. "Well... my father has been asking about you a lot, if you've recovered yet. Now that you are, he'll definitely want to know and probably talk to you..."

Gilbert's expression dropped. "Great..."

"Don't worry. He might be rude, but he can't do anything to you since it was his idea to bring you here. You're the only one capable of protecting me."

"I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job..."

Ivan cupped both of Gilbert's cheeks. "You're doing fine. I'm alive and healthy, so you're doing your job."

Gilbert smiled a little. "Thanks. I'll try to do better though. Try to keep from getting stabbed too much."

"I'd appreciate that." Ivan kissed him. "Come on, let's get dressed." Ivan stood up with Gilbert and stepped out of the tub with him. He used a towel to pat Gilbert dry, and then did so for himself. He tumble-dried Gilbert's hair, loving how it stuck up messily afterward. Gilbert pouted and took the towel from him and did the same to Ivan's hair, though he had to stand on his tip-toes to reach.

Ivan couldn't help but chuckle, then stole a little kiss from the albino. He wanted to start each day like that. Waking up to Gilbert, being close and romantic with him. He realized that it's what he wanted for the rest of his life.

As Ivan gazed into Gilbert's beautiful eyes, he suddenly heard a knocking coming from the other room. He wrapped a towel around his waist, then put a finger to his lips to tell Gilbert to remain quiet. Ivan peeked out of the washroom to see a guard standing by the door.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"Sorry for interrupting you, my lord, but King Nikolai would like to meet you for breakfast," the guard said.

"All right, tell him I'll be ready in a half hour."

The guard nodded. "He also requested Sir Gilbert to join you. Shall I go inform him?"

Ivan quickly shook his head. "No, that's all right. I'll tell him myself."

"Very well." The guard bowed and left.

Ivan turned around to see a naked Gilbert sitting on the edge of the tub, with one leg crossed over the other and appearing like a seductive little devil.

"So, we're having breakfast with daddy this morning?" Gilbert spoke almost teasingly with a little grin on his lips.

"Be good, please?" Ivan begged. "It was irritating enough getting him to let you stay. He already doesn't like you. Don't make things worse."

Gilbert stood up. "Yeah okay. Anything I should avoid saying?"

"Might not want to mention last night, or any of our physical contact... just, don't speak unless spoken to, okay?" Gilbert nodded. "Good, now let's go get dressed."

/

After both getting outfitted and ready for meeting the king, Ivan and Gilbert made their way to the dining hall where Nikolai was already waiting. Ivan entered first and sat down, then beckoned with his hand for Gilbert to sit beside him.

"Good morning, father," the prince greeted the king, who didn't wait for his company to arrive to pour himself a glass of wine.

"Good morning," he replied, then sipped his drink. He placed his cup down and cleared his throat. "Good morning to you too, Sir Gilbert." He kept his gaze on him.

Gilbert bowed his head in respect but chose not to speak. Nikolai sat forward and put on a fake smile.

"Shall we eat?"

With approval from his son and the knight—not that he needed it—the king started to fill his plate with food. Ivan and Gilbert mimicked him soon after. The room was quiet until about a quarter of the king's food was gone.

"Sir Gilbert," he started, gaining Gilbert's attention like a trained dog at the snap of one's fingers. "How are you feeling lately? Any better?"

"Yes, your Majesty. I've fully healed and I'm ready to pick my sword up again," Gilbert answered.

"Good." The king took another drink. "I hope you'll continue to protect my son." Gilbert nodded his head, silently vowing to do so.

Once everyone's plates were empty, Ivan and Gilbert stood up to excuse themselves. However, in an attempt to butter the king up a little, Gilbert turned to him with an overly kind smile.

"Thank you for inviting me to breakfast, your Majesty." His statement caught both of the others off guard, but the king looked more surprised.

"You're very welcome..." the king spoke hesitantly. Ivan and Gilbert were heading for the door when he suddenly stood up. "Sir Gilbert," he called out, making Gilbert turn toward him. "I'd like to speak with you for a moment. Alone."

Gilbert glanced to Ivan, who nodded.

"I'll be waiting outside," the prince said, then left the room.

After the door was closed, Gilbert turned back to the king. The older man sat back down in his chair. His expression changed completely once Ivan was gone, and he seemed almost disgusted as he looked at Gilbert.

"Sit down," the king instructed. Gilbert did so immediately. "I don't like you, knight. I don't trust you, and I don't like how much time my son spends with you. I only allow you to still be here because Ivan seems to be happier since you've arrived."

Gilbert remained quiet as the king spoke. He felt a little nervous but kept a straight and serious face.

"If Ivan is close to you, I have no doubt that he's shared personal things with you." Nikolai looked into his near-empty glass. "I haven't been the best father, so I want Ivan to at least have the company he enjoys, even if I don't approve."

"Thank you, your Majesty. I appreciate that..."

"Don't thank me," the king's voice was low. "Just keep my son safe."

"I will, I promise."

"You'd better. If you mess up again, I'll have you permanently removed from your Order of Knights. I've been lenient with you for Ivan's sake, but if you put him in danger again, I'll make sure you never work as a guard again for the rest of your life." Gilbert nodded stiffly, feeling his throat dry. "Good. You may go now."

Gilbert got up, bowed his head, and then quickly left the room. Just down the hall was Ivan, looking out a window as he waited for him. The prince turned when he heard Gilbert's footsteps and then greeted him with a smile.

"I hope my father wasn't too mean?" Ivan asked.

"Nah, he just wants to make sure you're safe." Gilbert smiled back at him.

"Of course." Ivan didn't fully believe him. "Come with me, I have a surprise for you." Gilbert looked curious as Ivan suddenly began to walk away from him. The prince had a mischievous look on his face, one that made Gilbert think he was up to no good.

Ivan led Gilbert down several different halls and up some stairs. He opened the door to Gilbert's personal room, then continued inside until he was standing face-to-face with a covered mannequin near an open window, which shone light onto it like a spotlight.

"After you risked your life to save me, I had the armorers make you some new armor."

Gilbert's pink eyes widened. "You didn't..."

Ivan smiled at him. "I did." He pulled the cloth off of the mannequin, revealing a new set of armor. It was dark brown and leather, which was Gilbert's preference. The collar was lined with Gray Wolf fur, like most of the clothes Ivan's people wore. The pants were leather as well, stitched together perfectly and clearly done by professionals, with thicker leather covering the shins and thighs for protection. A pair of sleek black knee-high boots sat beside the armor.

"Since your old armor had a hole in it and was bloodstained, I figured a new set was a good reward for protecting me." Ivan pulled Gilbert closer. "I hope it'll fit you."

Gilbert was in awe. He never expected to get a reward for doing what he was expected to do, but he couldn't deny that he was excited about getting new armor, especially armor that looked so nice.

"Why don't you try it on?" Ivan suggested. "I'll help you put it on, if you'd like?"

The albino nodded in approval and Ivan began to remove the armor from the mannequin. He stood back and let Gilbert put the pants on. They were tight but easy to move in, which was another thing Gilbert loved, and the material inside didn't hurt his skin either. Ivan then helped Gilbert into the torso piece, putting it over his casual top, and adjusting some straps to help it fit better.

As Gilbert was lacing up his new favorite pair of boots, Ivan went to the small table against the wall. He came back to Gilbert with a long skinny box.

"I'm sure you'll be happy to see this too," the prince said, then opened the box. Inside was Gilbert's sword.

The look on the knight's face was ecstatic. He didn't think he'd see the sword again since the last time he did, he felt the grip in his hand as he lost consciousness. He carefully picked up the sword and held it in his hands like he was holding a delicate flower.

"I had a new white tassel made since the other one was stained with your blood," Ivan told him.

"It's perfect," Gilbert smiled as he gazed at his sword for a few seconds. He then began to attach it to his belt. As he did, Ivan moved in close and suddenly pinned something to his chest. When Gilbert looked down at what it was, his eyes widened and he smiled even brighter.

"I made sure we kept the pin you had. I didn't want you losing it."

"Thank you. I'm glad you got it back to me." He smiled a little. "I'm grateful for all of this."

Ivan leaned in, cupped Gilbert's jaw and brought him into a sweet, gentle kiss. He loved how the albino's eyes slid shut instantly, and how Gilbert moved a little closer to his body. Ivan let the kiss go to the next level, tilting his head and slipping his tongue into the other's mouth. Gilbert still wasn't used to the feeling of Ivan's tongue on his own, so he gave a little jolt when he felt it. After some slow rubbing Gilbert finally moaned once for Ivan and the Russian moved back. That was all he wanted, a little moan. Gilbert looked disappointed about the kiss ending.

"Don't look so grouchy. We'll do more later tonight, I promise." He grinned, narrowing his eyes in a sexy way that told Gilbert that he was in for something good. "I'll do more to drive you wild, so don't give me that look."

Gilbert huffed, crossed his arms defiantly, and looked away, but he couldn't hide the pink blush on his cheeks. "Whatever..."

Ivan giggled. "Come on, we have one last thing before we're done." He grabbed Gilbert's hand and pulled him over to the wardrobe. He opened the large vertical doors and pulled out a fur cloak made completely of Gray Wolf fur. He swung it over Gilbert's shoulders and tied the front together at his neck, then smoothed it out before stepping back and admiring Gilbert like a work of art – which Ivan truly thought he was.

"There. You're all set now," Ivan scanned him up and down. "You look like a true knight of Wayland."

Gilbert glanced at a mirror. "I do look pretty awesome, don't I?" He grinned and turned his body in different ways to look at himself.

"Pretty AND awesome," Ivan complimented, then adorned his own cloak. "Shall we go for another ride today?" Gilbert smiled as he nodded, then followed his prince out of the room.

/

Outside the air was chilly. The seasons were starting to change more and more, but Gilbert loved this time of year. The leaves were turning colors and falling to the ground, the air was cold and smelled like nuts and leaves, and the sun was usually hidden behind some gray clouds. He really enjoyed it, and it was perfect weather to ride horses in.

Ivan began to saddle his horse along with Gilbert. He would glance to the albino every few seconds just to watch him. He loved how dedicated Gilbert was in everything he did; always looking so concentrated and focused. Ivan thought it was very attractive that Gilbert seemed to put all of himself into everything he did, and he was certainly doing that with protecting him. Ivan thought back to the first time they rode their horses together, how it was the first time Ivan was attacked. Gilbert had told Ivan to run, protecting him like the noble knight he was. Gilbert seemed fearless, even as he was getting stabbed in the belly with a poisoned blade, and still found the courage to do his job and kill the man who wanted Ivan dead. Ivan had to wonder if there was anything that his brave knight feared.

The curiosity was killing him. "Gilbert..." he started quietly, "is there anything that, y'know, frightens you?"

Gilbert raised an eyebrow. "Frightens me?"

"Yeah. Like something that you're scared of."

Gilbert turned away to hide the beginning of a blush showing on his cheeks. "I'd rather not say my fears in public." He was embarrassed of the first thing he thought of.

"So you have some?" Ivan sounded a bit excited, but didn't notice Gilbert blushing.

"Doesn't everyone? Anyone who says they're not scared of anything is lying. At least that's what I think anyway." Gilbert pulled on a strap of Ivory's saddle.

"I agree... I was just curious since you seem so brave when you protect me."

Gilbert chuckled and mounted his horse. "I was terrified when I got stabbed." Ivan's eyes widened at him. "I was terrified before that even, but I made a vow to obey orders from my king, and those orders are to protect you. I'd be breaking my vow if I let you die." He smiled calmly. "It's just something I had to do, whether I was scared or not."

Ivan blushed softly. "I think that's brave... I don't like confrontation much. I could never do what you do."

"Well that's why you're a childish little prince and I'm a strong and brave knight!" Gilbert grinned wide and proud.

Ivan got onto his horse as well. He patted the side of the dark horse's neck, smiling as he did.

"He's a beautiful creature," Gilbert spoke up, smiling as well.

The prince blinked at him a few times, his smile disappeared, and he hesitated. "His name is Riven."

Gilbert's eyes widened. "Riven? That's a good name." He kept his sweet expression, but he remembered how Ivan never called the horse by his name ever since his mother died, and even refused to tell Gilbert the name. He wondered why Ivan chose to tell him now.

"My mother loved this horse," Ivan spoke sadly. "She treated him like he was one of her children."

"Really?" Gilbert inquired.

"Oh yeah. She'd feed him, bathe him, and ride him everyday. Even when she just went for walks, he was right by her side. I remember I'd often wake up to the sound of horseshoes outside my window from her morning walks with him."

"Your mother sounds like a real caring person."

Ivan smiled. "She was. She'd always cook her own meals. Even though we have cooks to do it for us, she would always shoo them out and cook these giant meals for me and my sisters. We'd always have leftovers, but mom would give them to the servants. She loved to knit too. The scarf I wear is actually the first thing my sister knit when our mother was teaching her."

The prince went on for a while, speaking very highly of his mother and how wonderful she was. How she'd read him bedtime stories and tuck him in at night, when he was sick she'd stay by his side day and night to make sure he got better, and a few other stories that had Ivan smiling nostalgically. Gilbert adored it. He loved hearing Ivan tell of these memories, and it was nice to get to know Ivan a little more.

Soon the prince realized that he'd been rambling for several minutes and stopped. "Oh, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to rant so much..." He blushed a little in embarrassment.

Gilbert shook his head, smiling. "Don't apologize. It's nice to hear you talk so fondly of your mother. Actually, I'd love to visit her grave and pay my respects to her."

Ivan's face lit up with a smile. He was touched by Gilbert's sentiment. "Oh I'd love that, Gilbert! After dinner tonight I'll take you to see her grave. It's on castle grounds so I won't be disobeying my father's orders."

"Sounds good." Gilbert nodded. "Now how about we take Ivory and Riven for a run?" Ivan nodded in agreement and trotted out of the stables with Gilbert close behind. Ivan felt unusually happy. He knew that he and Gilbert were close, and lately most of their closeness seemed to stem from lust, but he felt as though they were becoming more than that, like actual lovers who were friends.

/

After a long ride, along with just walking, talking, and tending to their horses, Ivan and Gilbert headed back inside for a much needed meal. The cooks brought out a wonderful and filling meal that the two nearly ate every piece of.

However, the sun would be setting soon, and Gilbert reminded Ivan that he wanted to visit his mother's grave before it got too dark.

Ivan led Gilbert out of the castle and down a stone path that Gilbert had never been on. The path was fairly long, and on the way it started to rain lightly. The rain didn't bother either of them and they continued on. The path went to a small garden behind the castle where there were flowers and a small tree growing. At the base of the tree, surrounded by flowers, was a hand-carved gravestone with words across the front.

"Here we are," Ivan said. Gilbert didn't say a single word. He knelt down to the wet grass and smiled at the tombstone, then silently said his own words of respect for the dead. Ivan watched him, highly appreciating Gilbert's time and thought in such a way. After a minute or so, Ivan took a step closer.

"Gilbert... do you think she's watching over me?" the prince asked. There was a certain tone of sadness in his voice that Gilbert picked up on immediately.

The albino thought about it for a moment before sighing lightly. "I don't know. I'm not fully convinced there is a heaven, or a hell for that matter." He turned and smiled up at Ivan. "But, I am sure that she'd be proud of the son she raised."

The words made Ivan smile, but he still had that sad look on his face.

"Of course," Gilbert started again, "she'd probably kick my ass for nearly letting you die." He chuckled.

Ivan laughed, enjoying the pure smile on Gilbert's face. "My mother would have loved you. Though she would probably scold you for being too skinny and make you eat more, and she would've thought you were pretty."

"Oh great," Gilbert groaned jokingly, "more people to think I'm pretty."

"Well you are." Ivan smiled. "But... she also would have liked you because you make me happy."

Ivan's statement caught Gilbert by surprise and he blushed bright, looking at the other curiously. He couldn't help but think that it sounded as if Ivan was confessing something to him.

"She always liked those who made her children happy..."

Gilbert smiled ever-so-slightly. "Thank you, I'm glad..." was all he said, then looked back to the gravestone. Ivan watched Gilbert, adoring how perfect the man was. Even in the rain of the chilly evening, the scene was picturesque, and Ivan didn't believe that there was another person he'd rather be with.

However, unbeknownst to them, on the second floor of the castle, standing by a window with white curtains parted to the sides, was King Nikolai, watching his son and the knight visit his wife's grave.

/

After finishing up at the grave, Ivan took Gilbert back to his room. They removed their rain-soaked cloaks, and Ivan quickly began changing for bed. Gilbert was caught off guard for a moment, but didn't stop himself from gazing at Ivan's body as the man undressed. Ivan noticed the sexy look in Gilbert's eyes, and he absolutely loved it.

"I turned an innocent white rabbit into a naughty fox, didn't I?" Ivan asked with a smirk as he pulled on a pair of loose white pants.

Gilbert glared, but still kept staring. "It doesn't take much when you look like that."

Ivan blushed. He was good at teasing, but when the other teased back, it flustered him a bit. "Oh?"

"Oh yeah," Gilbert nearly purred and sauntered over to the bed, sitting on the edge and crossing one leg over the other in a fashion that Ivan could only deem sexy. "You're much more attractive than the boys I grew up with. And you're a prince, which makes you more desirable."

"Really? You seem to have known many boys. Are you sure I'm the first to ever touch you?" Ivan grinned.

"Of course," Gilbert spoke with a slight offense in his voice. "I wanted them but they never wanted me back. I was a freak. And male."

Ivan's expression softened and he lay on the bed, reclining back. "You're not a freak." He started rubbing at Gilbert's shoulder. "It doesn't matter now, you're here and I want you more than you could ever want any of those silly boys. They missed out on having you." He smiled so sweetly, but there was a touch of suggestiveness in his words that made Gilbert blush. "Now take off your armor and get in bed. I promised you I'd make you feel good again." He grinned happily.

Gilbert did as told and started stripping his weapons and armor off. Once he was done, left in his casual shirt and pants, he hopped up onto the bed next to Ivan. He kissed the larger man as if he'd been doing it for years. However, when the prince thought Gilbert was going to rest beside him, the albino moved his legs to straddle him, sitting atop his lower belly. Gilbert smiled down at the Russian, who looked pleasantly surprised by his actions.

"What are you doing?" Ivan asked.

"Sitting on you," Gilbert answered in a sarcastic tone. "I want to do something too..."

Ivan smiled sweetly and gently gripped Gilbert's hips. "You're very thoughtful." He loved that Gilbert wanted to please him as well. It showed that Gilbert was getting more and more comfortable with not only Ivan's body, but his own as well.

Gilbert stared down at Ivan as he began to slowly shift his hips in a circle, watching the prince's face turn a light pink like his own. After a few seconds, he scooted his body down so that he would rub against Ivan's cock, and that only added more pleasure. Ivan inhaled slowly, gripping tighter onto the skin of Gilbert's hips when he felt the pressure and heat rubbing against himself. Mimicking the action of riding Ivan thrilled Gilbert. He let that thrill show and he started to rock faster, tilting his head back as his eyes slid shut. For a moment it felt as if Gilbert didn't have control over his own body, like his lust was driving him. However, with Ivan's hands on his waist, rubbing and squeezing his flesh ever-so-softly, he felt that Ivan was commanding that lust. He didn't mind it, though, and actually loved the feeling of letting himself go.

As Gilbert was really getting into it and beginning to feel the heat fill his body, Ivan coughed, making him rock roughly for a second. Gilbert opened his eyes, looking at him questioningly.

"Sorry," Ivan apologized with a crooked grin. "Please, continue." He urged the smaller male to keep moving. Gilbert did so, smiling as he picked up his pace again. Everything looked and felt wonderful for a minute until Ivan coughed yet again.

Gilbert stopped and raised a pale eyebrow. "Are you all right?"

Ivan nodded. "Yes, I'm fine. My throat is just... just—" He sneezed loud, then covered his mouth and nose with a hand in embarrassment. "Sorry..."

Gilbert rolled his eyes, got off of Ivan, and sat beside him. "Come here," he said and reached his hand over, pushed Ivan's bangs aside, and felt his forehead. "You feel kind of warm. Maybe you're getting sick?"

"No! I'm fine, really—!" He began coughing again, then held his throat as if that would dull the small pain he felt there.

"You're sick," Gilbert stated. "Probably from us staying out in the rain so much."

"Then how come you're not sick?"

"Because my immune system is made of steel," he grinned. "Anyway, you just stay in bed until you get better."

Ivan pouted. "Fine... but you have to make it up to me once I'm all better!" he whined.

Gilbert nodded just to agree. "Yeah yeah, I promise. I'll do something crazy for you, all right? But right now, I'm going to get the cooks to bring you something warm, and I'm gonna run into town and get you some medicine." Ivan nodded, still pouting from not being able to continue when he was fully enjoying what Gilbert was doing. Gilbert just smiled disbelievingly, slightly amused by how upset and childish Ivan looked. He tucked the prince in with the heavy blanket, then leaned down to kiss his forehead.

"I'll be back in maybe a half hour, all right?" He smiled. "Just try to get some rest." Ivan gave him a nod, then watched the knight dress in his armor again and leave.

/

Luckily some of the cooks were still up, so Gilbert had no problem finding someone. When he entered the kitchen, one of the chefs turned to him and bowed.

"Good evening, Sir Gilbert. Can I help you?"

"Yeah," Gilbert said. "Master Ivan is sick. I want you to make him something warm that won't upset his stomach."

"Yes sir."

"One more thing. That doctor that was here to help me a while ago, where is he?"

"Once you no longer needed his assistance, he returned to his shop in town."

"Can you tell me where it is? I'm going to get the prince some medicine."

"I see," the cook hummed as he began preparing a small meal for Ivan. "He's just off the main road, down a smaller road from where the blacksmith is. It shouldn't be hard to find. He has a big sign outside that says, 'Doctor.'"

"Thank you." Gilbert bowed his head slightly, then left the kitchen.

/

It was still raining outside, albeit lightly but the cold air nipped at Gilbert's nose. On rainy days, it seemed like no one was outside, and every house with a chimney was pouring out smoke from fires warming the families inside. Finding the doctor was easy enough. Just passed the blacksmith shop, the little building was huddled against a wall separating two districts in Wayland. Ignoring how odd it was for a doctor's shop to be so hidden away, Gilbert went inside, hearing a tiny bell ring above his head. The doctor suddenly jumped up from behind the counter, startling Gilbert enough for him to yelp quietly, and had a wide smile across his face.

"Oh! It's the knight who got stabbed!" he greeted.

Gilbert raised an eyebrow. "Is that my nickname now?"

The doctor chuckled. "Oh no, that's just how I know you since I fixed you up. In town you're known as the hero who saved our beloved prince!"

The knight looked mildly surprised but pleased. "Really? A hero?"

"Yep!" the man nodded. "Everyone's talking about how you dove in front of Prince Ivan and took a knife in the belly for him. I believe I heard some girls swooning over you even."

Gilbert grinned. "Well, I am good-looking—"

"Though some men were saying that you're too skinny and look like a girl."

Gilbert twitched. "Well... not everyone can love me."

The doctor laughed. "What can I do for you this evening? Did you get stabbed again?"

"Uh... no." Gilbert looked confused. "I don't think I'd be here if I did."

"Oh, so an infection then? Or is this a personal matter involving your manhood?"

Gilbert flushed, looking appalled and even more confused. "What!? No! There's nothing wrong with my—!" He forced himself to stop. "Y'know what. I just—I need some medicine. Prince Ivan is sick. Can you give me something that will help him?"

The doctor thought for a second. "Yes. Wait here." He disappeared into a backroom for a few minutes, leaving Gilbert still hung up on the whole "manhood" thing and wondering just what the doctor thought could be wrong. After a while, he had to force himself to stop thinking about it. Soon the man came back with a little bottle.

"Give him a spoonful of this every morning that he still feels sick." Gilbert took the little bottle and looked at it. The liquid had a pale greenish coloring to it. Gilbert was thankful he didn't have to drink it. Unless Ivan got him sick too, which was highly possible.

"All right, thanks."

"No problem. And don't forget to come back if you need anything," the doctor smiled. "I have an herb that will help give you an erection." He winked.

Gilbert shoved the medicine bottle in a small bag he brought with him. "I have white hair but I'm not _that_ old!"

The doctor pouted. "You don't want to try it?"

"No!"

"... not even an aphrodisiac?"

"No! I'm fine, I don't need a plant to make me feel sexy!"

The other shrugged. "Suit yourself. Tell Prince Ivan I said hello."

Gilbert nodded but paced out of the shop. He sighed heavily once he got out. The doctor seemed much more... eccentric than before, and he certainly didn't know much about personal boundaries or subtlety. After taking a moment to breathe from the awkward situation, he started down the road again.

The wind began to pick up as he walked. He heard leaves crunch under his black boots, and the chilly air sent a shiver up his spine. Something within the last minute had given him a feeling of apprehension, and it made him ghost his hand over the hilt of his sword. The street was dark, even the light from inside the houses and shops were put out. Only the moon suspended just above the castle lit his way. Small clouds rolled over the white surface, which made Gilbert even more uneasy. He wasn't a superstitious guy, but the whole situation did feel a bit eerie.

There was a noise that pushed him to pull his sword a quarter-way out of its sheathe. It sounded like faint footsteps, multiple of them, mixed in with the wind blowing the leaves across the road. He stopped in his tracks to listen better, but all sound seemed to cease as well. With reluctance he craned his neck around, feeling his heart pounding slow in his chest.

There were two people—maybe more—dressed in black, stalking after him like a wolf stalks its prey.

It happened so quick. Too quick for him to react. By time he caught the slightest glimpse of the ones following him, a sudden pain shot through his right calf and it immediately collapsed him. He cried out and then grit his teeth in pain. Kneeling to the wet ground, he used his good leg to support himself. He felt blood start to trickle out from where his leg had been impaled by what he assumed was an arrow. When he tried to stand, something hit the back of his head hard, and knocked him out cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks for reading!**  
>  If you like this fic, please let me know with a comment! It's what keeps us writers going!
> 
> Follow me on [**twitter**](https://twitter.com/squeakster_) for personal/fanfic updates!


	10. You Give Your Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Originally posted January 1, 2015**

Sun was shining through Ivan's window. It was bright and flickered through the curtains until it woke him up. After a bit of sleep cleared from his mind, he instantly remembered that he was sick and groaned lightly as he rolled over. Then something else entered his mind that startled him.

'Gilbert.'

One name was all. He sat up quickly, ignoring the slight dizziness he felt when he did. It was morning, but he didn't remember seeing Gilbert at all. He remembered one of the cooks coming in and giving him some soup, and telling him that Gilbert had gone out for medicine and would be back shortly. Ivan fell asleep shortly after eating, but Gilbert would have woken him up to give him the medicine when he returned, and even if he didn't, Gilbert would have stayed in the room with him all night until he did wake up. There was no reason why he wouldn't be there.

Ivan got up from bed, feeling sluggish and even dizzier. He wrapped himself in a warm robe and left his room. The halls were quiet too, but the eeriness of it was probably just because he knew Gilbert wasn't there. He went downstairs and found a guard on his way to his post. He called out to him and got his attention.

The guard bowed to him. "Good morning, Lord Ivan," he said. "Is there something wrong?"

"Maybe... I'm looking for Gilbert, my knight. Do you know where he is?"

The other shook his head. "I'm afraid I don't. I saw him leave the castle last night while I was on duty, but as far as I know, he hasn't come back."

Ivan grew increasingly more worried but didn't let it show on his face. "I want you to form a search party for him. Just get a few other guards and look for him."

"Yes sir." The guard started to turn away to begin his task, but Ivan suddenly grabbed the man's arm, pulling his attention back.

"Do not come back unless you find him," he spoke seriously.

The guard nodded slowly, swallowing rough. Ivan released him and he walked off.

Ivan bit his lip. The fact that Gilbert never came back had him thinking the worst things. He began to cough into his hand and felt his head become extremely light. He knew he couldn't do much since he was sick and his father still had him on lock-down. He didn't even think about his father until that point. If Nikolai found out that Gilbert had gone missing, there wasn't a doubt in Ivan's mind that Gilbert would be sent home. As the prince wobbled back to his room, he could only hope that Gilbert was at least unharmed.

/

Gilbert opened his eyes, immediately feeling pain in his leg and in the back of his neck. Whatever pierced his leg was still impaling it. He was lying on a surface of cold stone with his wrists chained to the wall behind him. Carefully he moved his legs, but regretted it when the puncture in his left leg sent a blazing spark of pain throughout his entire body. A small hiss escaped his lips and his eyes began to water. Lifting his head, he saw that he was in a medium sized room with dim candles burning around him. The air smelled musty and almost of mold, and it was cold enough to dot his body with goosebumps. His movement caused the chains attached to his wrists to rattle.

"GOOOOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE!" a voice echoed loudly through the room. Gilbert's ears rang and he winced. As if from nowhere, a man strolled out into Gilbert's line-of-sight, grinning widely.

"You look a little under the weather, Gilbie. What's wrong? Got an arrow in the knee?" His grin widened.

Gilbert grit his teeth at the man, but then a realization hit him. "Wait... You're the guy I shot a few weeks ago..."

"That's right! I'm all better now, but you... I still owe you another arrow in the leg."

"How did you get out of the castle dungeons!?" Gilbert yelled at him. "We had you locked in there! You couldn't have—" The man kicked him in the stomach, shutting him up and causing him to go into a violent cough.

"I have friends. They got me out when the king's sorry excuse for guards weren't looking," the man said. "I'll give you one thing, you really are the only competent guard in this kingdom. Which is why we need you gone."

Gilbert panted heavily against the ground, still trying to fully catch his breath.

"One of my friends here had a brilliant idea. Made the rest of us look stupid, to be honest," he deadpanned, looking annoyed. "See, we didn't know that you were Prince Ivan's little whore too." Gilbert's eyes widened and he looked up at the man. "Yeah, one of us saw you the other night in the garden during a scout mission. Saw you two sucking each other's faces off and everything. We realized that you're not only the thing standing between us and Ivan, but you're also his biggest weakness. We all heard about how he begged his guards to make sure you were all right after you killed one of our men. The prince loves you, doesn't he? He'll do anything for you? Will he come to your rescue if we tell him we have you?"

Gilbert remained quiet, taking in everything the man was saying. He was full of anger and, less importantly, some embarrassment.

"You should hope so, because if he doesn't come for you, we won't have any need for you anymore, now will we? And I for one would _love_  to play target practice with your pretty body." The man knelt down to Gilbert's side. "So we're going to play some games with you for a bit, let Prince Ivan notice that his whore is gone, and then we'll see what happens from there." He grinned and poked at the wooden arrow shaft through Gilbert's leg. The knight tried his hardest to keep from making any sound, but when the man pushed the arrow deeper into his leg, he couldn't keep a small whimper of pain from escaping him, writhing slightly as he did.

The other male stood up and watched the albino's panting face twisted with pain. He loved seeing that look of pain. He then left Gilbert there on the ground, going to tell his friends that their guest had woken up.

/

/

Some hours passed and Ivan hadn't heard anything back. He hoped that Gilbert would just come through the door with some explanation and it would all be over, but he knew it wouldn't be that easy. It was all just false hope. He'd just gotten Gilbert back from nearly dying. He JUST got back on guard duty. Ivan hated that lately one bad thing after another seemed to keep happening. It wasn't fair. All he wanted was to be with Gilbert and tell him that he loved him, but the universe seemed to have other plans for them.

A guard came into his room. "Lord Ivan, I have some news. It's about Sir Gilbert."

Ivan's eyes widened. "What is it? Did you find him!?"

The guard shook his head, looking full of dread. "No...but I received a letter for you." He stepped in, standing next to Ivan's bed. "I was in town looking for Sir Gilbert, when a man in black came to me. He gave me a piece of paper but he left before I could ask him anything." He pulled the rolled-up slip of paper from his pouch. "I read it, not knowing what it was, and...it's a sort of ransom note, my lord." He gave him the letter.

Ivan quickly took it and read it. His facial expression grew more and more appalled as he moved down the tan page. He read the words on the paper; they told of the beating and abuse Gilbert had undergone within the last few hours. It went into detail about how he screamed when he was punched and kicked, how he cried out in pain as another arrow was shot into his leg, and how pretty his blood looked. The letter told of things these mysterious people had done to him, but also of how even after all of it, Gilbert still didn't look broken. Near the end of the letter was a proposition. Ivan was to come to the location listed—alone—and they would trade Gilbert for him. If he came with company, they'd kill Gilbert instantly, and if he didn't come within a week, they'd find a better use for him.

Once Ivan finished reading the letter he clenched his fist, crumpling the note in his hand. 'What am I going to do...?' he asked himself as he grit his teeth almost painfully.

"Lord Ivan...?" the guard spoke, wondering what he was thinking.

Ivan looked up at him. "I want you to send a letter to Ludwig Beilschmidt in Bellmore. I don't care what it takes, get him here as soon as possible."

"But, my lord, why are you calling him here?"

"Gilbert trained his brother, so I have confidence that he can help me get Gilbert back alive, but I want to discuss it with him in person. I have a few days before I have to show up there. They won't kill Gilbert, but I hope he can endure whatever they do to him until I can get to him."

The guard looked uneasy. "But the king ordered you to stay on castle grounds, and you don't have a guard now—"

"And you're not following direct orders. Send the letter and tell Ludwig that something happened to his brother and that I need him immediately. If you don't, I'll find someone who will or I'll do it myself."

"Yes, my lord." The guard reluctantly agreed, bowed, and then left Ivan to himself.

Ivan lay back against his bed. He un-crumpled the paper and read it a few more times. He didn't want to ignore that Gilbert was being tortured because of him, so he forced himself to read the horrible words over and over. He knew that Gilbert was strong, but his attitude would likely annoy his captors. Ivan hoped that Gilbert would keep his tongue in check. Even when captured by people who have, on several occasions, tried to kill Ivan, Gilbert wouldn't let them know that they'd gotten to him. That's just who he was. Ivan really hoped that Gilbert continued to stay strong until he could get to him.

All Ivan had to do now was figure out how to do it without his father knowing, or getting Gilbert or himself killed.

He absolutely hated having to wait. It would take at least half a day for the letter to get to Bellmore, and roughly a day and a half for Ludwig to arrive.

The only thing he could do now was wait.

/

/

After two days, Gilbert felt a small burn of pain throughout his entire body almost constantly. In the last 48 hours, he'd been whipped, punched, and kicked in practically every part of his body. At first he could take it. He knew these guys were petty criminals and he'd eventually destroy them, but after so many hours of their mocking and their beatings, Gilbert was running dangerously close to breaking.

The enemy had made him stand, chaining his wrists tight to the wall in such a way that he couldn't sit, but just hang from the wall like a lifeless doll. They had removed his shirt for his whipping, and his back, chest, and belly were covered in many red welts that were blistering and some even bleeding. It hurt, but he told himself that it was just pain, and that eventually that pain would dull and fade out. He wanted to believe himself, but after the days passed, he found it hard to believe such a thing.

Ivan's father didn't like him. In a way, the king was getting what he wanted. Gilbert told himself that Ivan would come for him because he loves him, but when he thought about it, he realized that Ivan never told him that he did. Gilbert just assumed it because of his own desperation and the way the others were talking.

Their repetitive use of the word "whore" brought Gilbert down. He never had sex with Ivan, but under the circumstances he was in, he began to wonder if Ivan was using him. It was such a terrible thing to think, but from the very beginning Ivan had shown a physical interest in him. On the verge of breaking, Gilbert couldn't help but believe what he was told. He was just a worthless whore.

The sound of a creaking metal door caused Gilbert's ears to hurt. He heard footsteps of a few people enter, but he didn't lift his head to see.

A man came over to him, gripped his chin, and made him look up. "It's been almost three days and no one's come for you. Does Prince Ivan not care about you as much as you thought?"

"Of course he doesn't," snickered another. "He's his whore. You don't care about whores. They're only good for one thing."

The man let go of Gilbert's chin. "That's very true. All of his injuries will heal over time, so we'll be able to sell him later. He's a pretty guy, so some old man will pay good for him."

"But what about Prince Ivan? Boss isn't gonna be happy unless we get him."

Through some dirty white bangs, Gilbert could see the man in front of him grinning down at him.

"Gilbie," he said sweetly and leaned down to his eye level, "since you're so close to the prince, how 'bout we make a deal? You trick him into comin' here with you, make him think you're gonna fuck him like never before or something, and we'll let you go free. We won't hurt you or sell you, as long as you bring Ivan to us."

Gilbert shakily tilted his head up, glaring at the other with a burning flame in his eyes. He mustered up what strength he had left, and spit in the man's face.

"Go fuck yourself," Gilbert growled through his pain.

His moment of strength didn't last long and he was immediately slapped across the face. "You're going to regret that, you little bitch." He turned to another. "Go get Crane, I know he's been dying to see our friend."

Gilbert was left alone, hearing the laughter of the others as they left. He wondered who this "Crane" person was, but he didn't have to wonder for long. Soon the door thrust open, slamming into the stone wall behind it, which startled Gilbert out of his semi-conscious state. The door shut just as loudly, but that wasn't the worst of Gilbert's problems, suddenly a man grabbed the back of his head by his hair and forced him to look up. The man had an extremely creepy look on his face, and his skin looked as though it'd been misshapen and burned.

"Hello," he greeted, sounding much sweeter than expected. "I heard you're being a bad boy... tsk tsk, that's not very nice. We should teach you your place, no?" He dropped Gilbert's head and knelt to the floor, opening a bag he brought in with him. Bottles clanked together inside the satchel as he looked through it. Crane stood back up and grinned manically at Gilbert.

"Your eyes are so pretty. Such a shame. I hate pretty things." He opened the lid of the bottle and pulled it out. The lid had a skinny tube that he filled with the bright red liquid. Turning his attention back to Gilbert, he forced the albino's head backward. Gilbert struggled against him weakly, but Crane simply overpowered him. It wasn't hard to do. Gilbert hadn't eaten or drank anything since the night he had dinner with Ivan two or three nights ago. His body was famished, dehydrated, and emotionally and physically drained.

Gilbert felt fear rising in him as Crane suspended the liquid dropper over his left eye. The man held his eyelids apart and Gilbert could only stare at the point of the dropper. He wiggled, trying in vain to get away, but found that he could barely move in his weakened state. In that moment, he'd never been so scared in his life, because he knew whatever was coming next would hurt more than anything he'd experienced thus far.

A tiny drop of the red liquid squeezed out of the dropper, Crane grinning widely as he pinched the rubber end.

The instant the drop touched Gilbert's eye, he screamed. His frail body convulsed violently, pain wracking through every nerve. His eyes started watering, which only seemed to make the excruciating burning in his left eye worse.

"We're not done yet!" Crane giggled and forced Gilbert's left eye open again.

Gilbert began begging him to stop, stumbling over his words but repeatedly saying, "No" and "Please stop." His vision was starting to darken, and the pain was affecting his other eye as well. The white of Gilbert's left eye was beginning to darken to red, and Crane dripped another, larger drop into it.

Gilbert completely shattered. The pain was so intense that Gilbert screamed so loud to the point of his voice shrieking. He yanked on his chains, trying desperately to get away; he threw his head around as if to shake the pain from his head, but nothing worked. The pale body was shaking in pain, thin eyebrows were knit so close that they almost touched, and his mouth hung open as he screamed and begged for mercy. His entire body was lit with pain, more than he'd ever felt before. If he had a choice, he'd rather take a third arrow to the leg than endure what he was feeling then.

Luckily for him, the pain was too much to bear, and with a third drop, he completely blacked out.

/

Hanging limp against the wall, Gilbert felt numb and cold. It had been hours since he passed out, but he'd been slouched on the wall for a half hour. He had no strength to lift himself, and he had no desire to. Any hope or confidence he once had was gone. The metal shackles around his wrists cut into him, creating little rivers of blood trickling down his pale skin. Everything hurt the moment he woke up, like a burning ache throughout his entire body, starting with his left eye where he felt nothing but pain and the wetness of tears.

He'd been crying, but only from his right eye, and silently. His voice was hoarse and nearly gone from his shrieking, and he had no strength to even make a sound. The only thing that dripped from his left eye were small droplets of blood. He couldn't see out of the eye at all. Everything was black, and his right eye was seeing fuzzy. Everything felt dizzy. The socket was swollen and purple, as were his eyelids. It still burned, and his entire body ached. Still, it didn't matter. He was at the point where he was giving up. He just wanted the pain to end.

"Y'know, you'll probably go completely blind in that eye." Crane was sitting at a table across from Gilbert, eating some bread by picking it apart with his thin, bony fingers. "My poison is treatable, but only if treated properly and within a certain amount of time, but I don't think you're going anywhere," he giggled.

There was a knock at the door. "Come in!" Crane called to them, and two others came back in.

"So did you have fun?" one asked.

"Oh yeah! Gilbert's screams are beautiful." He grinned like a happy child.

"I'll bet Ivan thinks so too." He went to Gilbert and grabbed him by the hair. Gilbert was too weak to resist, letting himself be pushed and pulled around like a rag-doll. "The famous White Knight who saved the prince. Now look at you. You're blind and swollen. You can't even lift your head. Pathetic."

"A knight prided on being pure and strong, living side-by-side with the church. But this one fucked a prince. Can he even call himself a White Knight anymore?" another joked.

"Hey hey, I have a good one. Instead of calling him a White Knight, we can call him the Royal Sheathe."

"I don't get it," said Crane with a tilt of his head.

The one groaned. "He's Ivan's fucktoy. Think of Ivan's dick as a sword. Gilbert's his sheathe. So he's a Royal Sheathe!"

"I wonder if it's just royalty he'll take."

"Probably not."

"Hey," the man called to Gilbert, pulling his hair to make his head tilt back. "Do you know what we're gonna do to your precious prince?" he asked. "Once we get him, we're gonna have some fun just like we did with you, but we need him dead, so once we're done with him, we're gonna lock him in a box and drop him off the cliff to the north of here."

Another giggled. "Water will slowly rise in his wooden prison until he drowns!"

Crane suddenly stood up, waving his arm around. "Oh, oh! Why not shove Gilbert in there too!? That way they can watch each other die?"

"Huh, that's not a bad idea." The man grinned at Gilbert. "If anything, we should let the two lovers be together in their final moments."

"It's the least we could do."

Gilbert remembered their laughter fading out into nothing. He wasn't sure if they finally left him alone or if he fell unconscious again. Never in his life did he think he'd be in a situation like he was in. He wanted to scream but his throat hurt, and the smallest movement he made would send surges of pain throughout his entire body. The only thing he could do was weep quietly, with tears of pain, regret, and failure falling from his right eye, and tears of watery blood slowly dripping from his left and down his cheek, leaving a red stain on his skin.

/

/

The morning of the third day had come.

Ivan was naturally feeling a bit better from his illness since a servant had been helping him lately, but it still didn't heal his heart. He'd nearly lost Gilbert once to these nameless enemies, and this time it felt like he'd truly lost him. When he would lay down for bed, he'd leave a spot open to his side where Gilbert would be. Half of the time he couldn't get to sleep with all the horrible thoughts in his mind. He hoped they didn't hurt Gilbert, as the worst of thoughts of Gilbert being used in terrible ways made him cry.

Once his crying stopped in the middle of the night, he started to plan how to actually get Gilbert back. He realized that rescuing Gilbert would probably end in his own death, and he asked himself if he was truly willing to give his life for Gilbert.

'Yes, I love him...' was his answer. He loved Gilbert, and the more he told himself that—the more he _realized_  that—the more certain he was about saving Gilbert.

He had an idea, but he didn't trust anyone else to help him do it except for Ludwig. All he had to do was wait for him to arrive.

Another matter called for his attention, though. Last night, a guard had visited him and told him that his father wanted to have breakfast with him if he felt better. Soon he wouldn't have the choice, so he decided to get dressed and join his father in the dining room.

As usual, the king sat in silence, drinking his wine with no regard for how early it was, or how rude it was to start the meal without the invited guest. Ivan wasn't hungry. Well, he was. He was starving, actually, but the thought of eating somehow made him feel sick to his stomach. He was waiting for his father to open his mouth, but he knew he wouldn't be ready for anything the king would say. All he knew was that whatever it was, it'd be about Gilbert.

The king set his wine glass down with a soft _thud_. "There has been some talk lately," he spoke and then looked to his son. "Apparently your Knight has gone missing...?"

Ivan could almost feel himself sweating. "No... he's just been with me all the time. He's been taking care of me while—"

"Do _not_  lie to me!" the king bellowed with anger. "I know about the search party you formed for him!"

The prince stiffened in his chair, remaining quiet, but his father didn't let up on him.

"I gave him a chance. I told him that if he messed up again, I'd punish him."

"But he didn't mess up! He's being held captive!" Ivan yelled.

"That's even worse! How is he supposed to protect you if he gets himself captured!? The boy is incompetent! He nearly died because he foolishly threw himself in front of a blade, and now he gets captured by the ones who want you dead, or for all we know he could be working with the enemy to get you killed!"

Ivan felt his entire body burn with anger at the suggestion. There was no way that Gilbert would betray him like that.

"Ivan, I don't know why you're so attached to that Knight, I don't really care, but he is not fit to protect you, or anyone for that matter," said the king. "If he's alive, I have no choice but to remove him from his duty here. I will not have someone who gets captured so easily protecting my only son and heir. He will go back to Bellmore as soon as he can." He sipped his wine.

Ivan bit the inside of his lip. In a way, he couldn't blame his father for taking such actions. Gilbert technically wasn't doing the best job, and after the beating he received described in the letter, he probably couldn't protect him anymore anyway. Ivan hated that his father was right.

"Now, eat your breakfast, then go rest some more. You still look a little pale."

Ivan watched his father begin eating. It was strange to hear a sincere tone in his voice, even more rare to hear concern. It didn't matter though. His father couldn't stop him from doing what he was going to do.

/

It was late at night, rain was once again falling, and instead of being in his room sleeping, Ivan was sitting on a couch built into a window. It overlooked the front of the castle where he could see the entrance and the rest of the city. Candles in fancy lanterns lit the path to the castle, but suddenly a dark figure on a horse came trotting up to the gate. Ivan squinted but it was too dark and far away to see.

The person was let into the castle grounds, and then Ivan suddenly knew who it was. By the white cloak on his back, he knew it was a White Knight. It had to be Ludwig.

Rushing down the stairs, Ivan pulled on his cloak and ran outside in the rain. There were no other guards outside so meeting with the other wouldn't be a problem.

The man on the horse trotted up to him and came to a stop.

"My lord," the man greeted. "I am Sir Ludwig Beilschmidt. I was invited by the Prince."

Ivan smiled slightly. Ludwig sounded a bit like his brother, which was a pleasant surprise, but it made him ache a bit. He pulled down his hood to fully reveal his face.

"I am Prince Ivan. Welcome, Sir Ludwig. Please follow me into the castle. I'll have someone take care of your horse." He turned and began walking, then paused to wait for the knight to get off his horse.

The blond followed the prince, curious as to why his arrival felt so secret. Even the castle halls were empty as Ivan led him to a dark room. Naturally Ludwig felt a bit uneasy around this man. With all the rumors surrounding him and his family, he kept one hand on the handle of his blade the entire time. The prince began lighting a few candles and then locked the heavy door of the room.

"Thank you for coming, Sir Ludwig..." Ivan started.

Ludwig turned around to face him, and then saw the look of sorrow on his face.

"I'm sure you were told that something happened to your brother."

Ludwig nodded. "I was. Where is he?"

Ivan took a paper from his pocket. "His location is at the bottom, but I want you to read the entire letter. It explains what Gilbert has gone through.".

Ludwig took the paper, looking confused, and then read it silently. His eyes widened and his face seemed to pale just a little bit. He forced himself to remain calm. "How did this happen?" Ludwig asked, looking at the prince.

"He went out a few nights ago to get medicine for me. They must have attacked him then."

"They?"

"We don't even know who it is. There's a symbol of a bird's talon at the bottom of the letter, so I've just been referring to them as 'Talon' in my mind." Ivan sat in the chair.

Ludwig watched him. "They want you to come alone to their hideout, so why am I here?"

Ivan leaned back in his chair, slouching down. "I'll go in first like they ask, and have Gilbert leave. You'll be waiting for him somewhere away from their hideout."

The blond turned his head in confusion. "These people want you dead. You can't seriously expect me to just let you walk in there alone."

Ivan ignored his comment. "Once you have Gilbert, I want you to get him medical help, take him to the doctor here in town." Ludwig stared at the prince in shock.

"Prince Ivan, I can't let—"

The Russian cut him off again. "If his injuries are minor, I want you to take him back to Bellmore immediately. Get him out of this city as quickly as you can."

Ludwig didn't understand why the prince was doing what he was. "Fine...but isn't Gilbert still charge with protecting you?"

"Yes, but you will tell him and your king that I relieved him of his duty. I'll tell my father that I share his feelings about Gilbert and decided to send him home," Ivan said. "Whatever you do, don't let Gilbert come back here."

"Have you met Gilbert?" Ludwig asked with a serious tone. "I don't think anything can stop him from doing what he wants."

Ivan smiled sadly. "Yes I know. He's stubborn, but that's what makes him, him."

Ludwig stared at the prince, noticing that he seemed to be lost in thought. Judging from how the prince was acting, he knew there had to be some sort of connection between him and Gilbert. Ludwig figured as much, since Gilbert was assigned to be his personal guard. It wasn't surprising that they'd gotten a bit close. However, the fond way that Ivan spoke of Gilbert wasn't one of normal friendship, and it took Ludwig by surprise.

The blond sighed. "All right. When are we going to carry out this insane plan of yours?"

Ivan looked up at the other. "Tomorrow night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks for reading!**  
>  If you like this fic, please let me know with a comment! It's what keeps us writers going!
> 
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	11. The Last Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Originally posted January 18, 2015**

Ivan set Ludwig up in a room so he could rest after his journey. He had to keep Ludwig a secret from his father, which wouldn't be hard since Nikolai was usually busy drinking or ignoring his son. Still, he had to make sure that Ludwig was rested and kept a secret for now.

He was surprised with Ludwig. He didn't look much like Gilbert at all. Of course the color of their skin, hair, and eyes would be different, but their very being was so dissimilar. He was much bigger than Gilbert and clearly worked out more, and seemed to have a serious look always on his face. Ivan found it hard to believe that he was the younger brother. There was something that was the same, though, and that was their dedication. Ludwig was protective of Ivan, even when he had no obligation to be. He was here just for his brother, but he knew that the mission to protect Ivan was important to Gilbert. However, he cared more about his brother, and royalty was giving him direct orders to join him in this fight, so he had no choice.

Ivan knew it, and he was just grateful that he had someone he could trust to get Gilbert to safety. He didn't trust any of his own guards to handle Gilbert, but he knew that Ludwig would take care of him.

/

It was the next day, Ludwig had rested, and Ivan was in the kitchen preparing a meal for his new guest. It was getting closer to the time to put his plan into movement, but at that moment all he thought about was how Gilbert must have had an impact on Ludwig's personality. It was clear to him. Ludwig was a product of Gilbert raising him on his own. Ivan would applaud Gilbert for raising his brother so well, though he only hoped he would get the opportunity.

The prince took a deep breath before entering Ludwig's room. The blond was sitting at the small table, and immediately looked up when Ivan entered.

"Good evening, Sir Ludwig. I brought you something to eat." Ivan placed the tray in front of him.

The blond stared at the prince for a moment. Then spoke. "It's almost time, isn't it?" he asked.

Ivan nodded. "In an hour or two, we'll be leaving..."

"You sound nervous. This was your idea, remember?"

"I know, I know... I'm just...worried."

"About?"

"...Gilbert," Ivan mumbled his name. "I'm worried of what they did to him. What if he can't walk? It's been days and he hasn't eaten at all."

Ludwig sighed and gestured for Ivan to sit across from him. It surprised Ivan a little, but he sat.

"Have you just met Gilbert? It's only been a few weeks but you have to know by now the type of person he is. Even if his legs get cut off, he'd crawl on his hands if that's what it took. He's stubborn like that."

Ivan looked down at the surface of the table. Ludwig was right, but Ivan still didn't want a legless Gilbert. "Yeah, I know. Even when he had a sword through him, he still told me to run."

Ludwig perked up. "He had a sword through him?" he asked with a raised brow.

Ivan nodded. "It was a few days ago, I think. I can't even remember anymore. We were out walking, and I, like an idiot, got distracted. Gilbert saved me from getting stabbed by taking it himself. It nearly killed him."

"Was he all right?"

"He's fine. He has a scar but he recovered quickly, thanks to one of our doctors, and probably Gilbert's inability to die. He bounced right back after that... Although..."

"Although?" Ludwig inquired.

"Well...he was a bit shaken about killing the guy, but even then he still recovered quickly."

Ludwig began poking his food with the fork. "He's like that. He's probably still shaken by it, but doesn't want you to worry about him."

Ivan watched Ludwig. "Well...you would know better than me..."

Ludwig nodded silently and continued eating. After a few minutes he looked back to Ivan. "Are you sure about this plan of yours?"

The prince shrugged. "No plan is a good plan right now. It's crazy, but I can't go in there with a bunch of guards. They'll kill Gilbert immediately. Remember, Sir Ludwig, the only goal here is to get Gilbert out alive."

Ludwig's eyes widened just a fraction of an inch. Something in Ivan's tone made him curious. Here was this prince who was willing to walk into enemy territory alone, likely to his death, just to save a knight whose duty was to die if it meant to protect him. Ludwig was confused by it, but he figured that Gilbert had indeed made a friend out of the prince.

"Prince Ivan, forgive me if I'm out of line in asking this, but, my brother... What exactly is your relationship with him?"

It was Ivan who looked a little shocked now. Thinking for a few moments, he finally spoke. "Gilbert...is special to me. He is the first one in a long time to become my friend, and he didn't care about keeping it strictly professional, he treated me like one of his own friends. He has been there for me a lot, for so many things, and he even opened up to me as well."

"He did?" Ludwig asked. "What did he tell you? Anything...personal?"

"Oh yes," Ivan nodded, but didn't pick up on what Ludwig was asking. "He's told me many things. Of his childhood, growing up with you... He told me about the blueberry bread, and how you'd whine until he made it." Ivan smiled warmly.

Ludwig—although a bit flustered from Gilbert telling such an embarrassing story about him—relaxed in his chair, thankful that Gilbert didn't speak of anything else to Ivan. He wasn't sure how different kingdoms treated men who like other men, but in his own, Gilbert would be punished for it.

"Your brother is very brave, you know. For such a tiny man he can hold his own."

"He didn't earn the nickname 'Ghost' for nothing."

Ivan, however, frowned. "He doesn't like that nickname," he spoke rather coldly.

Ludwig felt a chill creeping up his spine under the glare the prince was giving him. "He doesn't...?"

"No. He told me." Ivan looked down at the plate of food that Ludwig was barely touching. Seeing the food reminded him of Gilbert, of the many meals they'd had. Gilbert would have eaten the bread first, then the fruit, and then the meat. Afterward he'd drink his wine or vodka, whichever one they had that night. Then after dinner, Ivan would take his knight back to his room, and adore him like no one could ever adore him.

Ivan realized that he'd been staring at the plate, daydreaming of being intimate with Gilbert, and snapped out of it with a little jolt when Ludwig spoke.

"How many times has my brother protected you?" the blond asked. He didn't notice the daze that Ivan was in.

"O-Oh," Ivan started with a stutter, catching Ludwig's full attention, cheeks a faint pink. "A few times. The first time we were riding our horses behind the castle, and a man shot an arrow at me. Gilbert told me to run as he chased him down. Apparently he put two arrows in the man." He smiled. "Then a few days later in town, he was so cautious and made sure to keep me safe, all the way up until he got stabbed... Then...the other night, he went out by himself to get me medicine, and he never came back..."

Ludwig sighed. It was typical of his brother to be so reckless like that. For a moment, Ludwig allowed himself to be vulnerable with the prince and tell a story of when he and Gilbert were younger.

"He did the same thing for me," he stated. "I was young, maybe seven or eight years old, and I was sick. Gilbert was too worried and he ran out in the middle of the night without any shoes to get medicine, but he ended up getting mugged by a few guys." Ludwig looked at Ivan. "He decided to go out the moment he saw you were sick. He always does things without thinking. If he would have waited, no one would have taken him in broad daylight."

Ivan forced a smile. "Yeah...but he only did it to protect us. I can't get angry over that."

Ludwig took a drink. He wasn't angry at his brother; he just wished he'd think his actions through a bit more.

"Prince Ivan. We need to talk about tonight."

"What about it?"

"I'll ask again. You're sure of your plan? We go in, trade you for Gilbert, and then I leave with him?"

Ivan nodded. "Yes. I know what you're thinking, and forget it. Just leave with Gilbert. Get him a doctor if he's really in need, or else just take him home."

Ludwig didn't like the idea, especially since he was almost certain that Gilbert would be angry about it. But Ivan was a prince, so he couldn't just defy him. Not under his sight, at least.

"Fine," the blond agreed reluctantly. "Prince Ivan, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like some time to myself before we start."

Ivan stood up and nodded. "Very well. Meet me outside by the stables in an hour. I'll get our carriage ready."

Once Ivan left, Ludwig stayed put for about 10 minutes, and then peeked out of the room. He glanced down the hall and saw a man in armor who he presumed was a guard. Walking toward him, the man heard his footsteps and turned, but before he could speak, Ludwig got the first word.

"You are a guard here, right?" The man nodded in response. "I'm Ludwig Beilschmidt, Sir Gilbert Beilschmidt's brother. Your prince brought me here for a mission but his plan is insane and I only hope his guards will listen to a level head when their prince's life is in danger." He paused to give the man a moment to think. "Can I trust you to follow orders, and keep quiet about it?"

"Been doin' it my entire life, Sir Ludwig." The guard nodded. "What do you need?"

Ludwig stared at the man for a moment; he wasn't expecting him to agree so easily. He then spoke once again...

/

Ivan had been outside in the night for roughly an hour, brushing down his horse and preparing the carriage. The carriage was small and meant to hold only one or two people, and it was going to carry Gilbert back home. He wanted to provide some comfort for Gilbert on his journey back to Bellmore. The man was probably already in pain as it was, so he needed a soft ride. He reached for the straps to hook his horse to the carriage, when he began to hear some soft neighing behind him.

Turning around was a mistake because it instantly made his eyes tear up. Standing behind him in the moonlight was Ivory, Gilbert's beloved horse. She was fidgeting around, dancing nervously. Like she knew something bad had happened to her rider. Ivan went over to her, reached out his hand, and began to pet her snout.

"I'll get him back to you." He walked Ivory over to the carriage, and then shooed his own horse away. "You're going to go rescue him. He'll be so happy to see you, I know it."

It took a few seconds for him to connect Ivory to the carriage, but when he did, he stood back and just looked at her. The horse was staring at him as he cried, and the look only made him cry more. It was like Gilbert was looking at him through Ivory's eyes. She was pure white, just like he, and had eyes that were both fierce and soft. Ivan felt useless, even next to a horse. Ivory would gallop through the night, returning her rider to safety like a loyal companion, and all he could do was cry like a baby.

He wasn't stupid. He knew he'd most likely be dead by morning, but getting Gilbert and making sure he was alive was all he cared about. There was nothing else important to him. Nothing else mattered, not even his own life. Gilbert was everything he loved and wanted, and if he couldn't have him alive, he'd rather be dead, and if he couldn't have him in life, he'd still rather be dead.

Gilbert was a Knight, a Knight of an Order close to a church. Their relationship was sin in their eyes and likely wouldn't be tolerated anywhere they go. Ivan was a Prince, a probably soon-to-be married prince. After this entire ordeal, Nikolai would certainly want Ivan to produce a child to keep his bloodline going. Ivan always dreaded the day where he'd have to fake making love to some woman just to put a baby in her. To him, _that_  was wrong.

After giving himself a few minutes to think about Gilbert, and also collect himself so he wasn't crying anymore, Ivan went back to packing the carriage. He brought bandages and salve, just in case Gilbert was still bleeding. He brought bread and water because he had to assume that Gilbert was going unfed. He loaded the final canteen of water into the carriage when he heard footsteps behind him. He turned and saw Ludwig.

"Are we ready?" Ludwig asked.

Ivan nodded. "I have food and water in here for both you and Gilbert. Some bandages as well..."

Ludwig walked around the carriage, and then noticed the horse. "Ivory..."

"Yeah... I was going to use my own horse, but Ivory seemed to sense that Gilbert needed her."

Ludwig glanced to Ivan after he heard a small crack in his voice. There were many questions that he wanted to ask – what was Ivan's relationship with Gilbert? Why did he seem so protective over him? What has Gilbert told him about himself? Ludwig knew he likely wouldn't get an answer to any of these. At least not from Ivan.

The prince climbed up into the seat at the front of the carriage. Ludwig followed suit but Ivan stopped him with his hand.

"No. Get in the back. I can't risk them seeing you."

Ludwig sat on the seat anyway. "What exactly is your plan then?"

Ivan felt nervous. "I'm hoping for the best, but my plan is to go in alone and tell them I have one guard with me who is only going to take Gilbert home. Hopefully they'll allow you to at least come in and get Gilbert. I don't think he'll be able to walk on his own."

Ludwig nodded silently, and then climbed into the carriage behind him. He thought it was suicide going in like this, and it was Ivan's choice, and Ludwig had his own plan.

♣

On the way to the location written at the bottom of the letter, Ivan gazed up at the full moon overhead. He thought about how it was the same moon he and Gilbert kissed under and watched glide across the night sky for many nights. It was completely different this time. The night was frigid and damp. The wind whistled and howled, blowing leaves across the cobblestone roads until the stone met with dirt. Even the moon itself had a haunting quality that made the hairs on Ivan's neck stand on end. In a way, he knew this was his last night, and as much as he was certain about saving Gilbert, he was terrified of death and never being able to hold him again.

In the back of the carriage, Ludwig rested against the wooden floor, lying down so there was less of a chance for him to be seen. He didn't know where they were or where they were going, but he knew that his brother was at the end of the road. The contents of the letter that Ivan had him read crept back into his mind, and it made him burn with a need to harm those who hurt his brother. Soon enough he'd repay them. He thought about his secret plan he'd put into action quickly and behind Prince Ivan's back, and hoped things would go smoothly. It wasn't his first choice to not tell Ivan, but he knew if he did, he'd likely call the entire thing off.

Soon the carriage came to a stop. Ivan pulled the reins to get Ivory to halt and he looked around. They were deep in the thick forest outside Wayland. Through the pine trees there was a building mostly hidden by the foliage. A small dirt path led to the entrance, and as Ivan neared it, a man wearing that familiar black cloak began to jog from the building out to him.

"Halt!" the man yelled, but then recognized the prince's face. "Ah, Prince Ivan. We thought you'd never come." A small grin crept onto his face, flashing white under his hood.

"I wish to speak with your leader," Ivan stated sternly.

Ludwig listened from inside the carriage, holding his breath.

The man outside let out a laugh. "What for?"

"You have hurt Sir Gilbert. You also promised his release for my capture."

"Yes...?"

"If Gilbert cannot walk, he will need someone to take him home."

"Get to the point," the man growled a little.

"I request that one guard enter your building to retrieve Gilbert."

"No way! The deal was you come alone or we kill your knight!"

"I swear this guard will not try anything!" Ivan shouted. A few more people came out of the building behind the other man. One being the main tormenter of Gilbert, along with Crane and one other.

"What's going on?" the leader said.

"Prince Ivan is here. He wants us to allow a guard to come in and get his whore." Ludwig's eyes widened slightly at the comment, but he kept his ears open.

"Hm," the leader stepped close to Ivan. "Your guard is in the back of that carriage, correct?" Ivan nodded once, nervously. The man glanced to the carriage and then back to Ivan. "Very well. He may enter and get the knight. But if he tries anything at all, all three of you will be killed."

"I understand."

"But first, you need to be restrained." He glanced to the side at his partners, and they began walking toward Ivan. One grabbed his arm and pulled him off the carriage's seat and tied his hands behind his back. The other also put a gag in his mouth and tied it behind his head. Ivan complied without a fight. With a nod from their leader, they led Ivan into their building.

"Come out, guard," the leader called toward the carriage. Ludwig slowly came out of the back and kept his hand on his sword. "No need for that. We are men of our word. No harm will come to you so long as you keep your sword holstered. Are we clear?" He gestured with his hand toward the building, inviting Ludwig inside.

Ludwig stepped cautiously and carefully toward him. Before he passed the man, he let something drop from his pocket that started to smoke a few seconds after. The man followed him, keeping a hand on the blond's shoulder and ushering him toward the building, not noticing what fell from his pocket.

Inside, Ivan was already seated and tied to a chair in the center of the main room. He had some blood dripping from his nose due to some of the men punching him. Ludwig glanced around, noticing that Gilbert wasn't in sight. He turned to the man.

"Where's Gilbert?" he asked, demanding an answer.

"One second. All right, bring him out!" the man shouted seemingly at no one.

Ludwig put some distance between himself and the man beside him. Keeping his hand on his sword out of instinct, he waited while staying alert for anything.

A door across the room opened, and out walked a man in black. Hanging from his arm was the limp body of Gilbert. Ludwig couldn't help but be a bit unsettled by the state his brother was in. From where he was standing, the albino looked dead. Gilbert was wearing nothing but a pair of black trousers that were torn in various places on the legs, with blood staining the material. As the man carried Gilbert closer, Ludwig got a better view of Gilbert's beaten body. Many cuts, welts, and bruises of varying sizes littered his body. Blood was dried on his skin and wounds were starting to heal with small scabs, and the red rings around his wrists were bright from his restraints. He was dirty and wet from the water of his cell, overall looking like he just got out of hell. Seeing Gilbert in such a way made it difficult for Ludwig to remain calm, but he knew that if he acted out even just a little before he got Gilbert away, he'd regret it. However, then Ludwig saw the worst of the damage. Gilbert's face.

Now in front of him, the man moved Gilbert's body so that his head limply fell to the side to reveal his eye. Gilbert's left eye was completely swollen shut, surrounded by purple and black skin stained with blood. His other eye was open just slightly but had no life to it, like he was staring into nothing. His lips were cracked and peeling, with spots of blood on them from being so dry.

Ludwig stepped to his brother and carefully took the thin arm over his shoulder to carry him. He could hear Gilbert's weak breathing, which was good; at least he was alive. It was a huge relief, but he couldn't relax yet. Gilbert was injured badly, and his life was still in danger. Ludwig glanced to Ivan, and there was a look of complete devastation on his features.

That couldn't be Gilbert, Ivan thought. He was just so...broken. Ivan felt a knot in his chest and stomach – a mix of pain and guilt. Gilbert's pain, all of his wounds, his now shattered spirit, that light in his eyes that was now snuffed out. It was all his fault. He felt tears threatening to fill his eyes, but he forced them back. The prince's eyes met with Ludwig's and they shared a gaze that both knew the meaning of. Ludwig had to leave.

Slowly, Ludwig backed up. He didn't trust these people enough to turn his back on them until he was outside. Once he got close to the entrance, the men behind him began to whisper and surround Ivan, chuckling and making small threats. They didn't care about Ludwig or Gilbert. They had their prize – the prince of the Braginsky family.

Just before Ludwig exited, he heard Gilbert whisper a broken, "No..."

/

Ivan felt nothing after a while. Their punches paled in comparison to the pain he felt from seeing Gilbert, and from the fact that he'd never see him again. He had no will to protect himself. Why should he when his life would end before morning? Why put up a battle he knew he'd lose? He didn't care what they called him, how hard they hit him, or where they hit him. However, one said something that sparked a fire in him.

"Your whore's screams were so pretty."

The man called Gilbert that once before, but this time the words made Ivan burn with anger and it was enough to make him lash out. Unable to control himself, he abruptly stood up and slammed his forehead into the face of the one who spoke those degrading words. The man let out a yell as he heard a bone in his nose snap, and he fell to the ground writhing in pain. Ivan didn't stop. He used his body weight and size to knock another over, even using the chair that was strapped to him as a weapon. He didn't care what they said about him; they could taunt him all they wanted, but he would not accept the words they spoke of the man he loved.

His retaliation didn't last long when suddenly, one of the men slammed a metal pipe against the back of Ivan's neck. His body crumbled under him and he hit the cold stone floor.

/

Ludwig heard the protest from his brother, but it didn't stop him from taking Gilbert away. He had to get Gilbert to a doctor and cleaned up, so he decided that he'd stop in town before leaving for Bellmore. Carefully, Ludwig loaded Gilbert into the back of the carriage, and then wrapped him in the fur that Ivan brought. He thought it'd be a good idea to at least get somewhat far away from the building before doing anything else. Ludwig climbed into the front and sat on the seat, and got Ivory to turn and trot away. After a second, a figure appeared in front of Ludwig. The shadow stared at him but Ludwig simply nodded. Soon, a group of 5 or 6 guards sneaked passed the carriage, carrying weapons and shields, and headed for the building behind them. The shadow stood next to the carriage and nodded toward the blond before following the others. Ludwig looked back at them, mentally wishing them luck.

Gilbert was uncertain of where he was. The clunking and wobbling of the carriage made him dizzy and his body ached with each bump in the road that the wheels went over. He let out a ragged cough, and a few seconds later the carriage stopped. Ludwig climbed back to him, and for the first time Gilbert realized that it was his brother.

"Lud—" he tried to speak but coughed again, causing his throat to burn. He was surprised and confused to see him.

"Don't talk," the blond instructed him and dug through a box until he found a canteen of water. He unscrewed the cap and held it to Gilbert's lips. "Drink."

Slowly Gilbert let the water into his mouth and swallowed it. It hurt but he forced it down, knowing that it was for the better.

"I'm going to take you to a doctor, so just hold on for a little bit more."

Gilbert looked at his younger brother through his drooping right eye. "Where...where's Ivan?"

Ludwig dreaded that Gilbert asked. "He's back at the building you were in." Fear settled into Gilbert, but Ludwig couldn't lie to him. "He traded his freedom for yours."

"What!?" Gilbert tried to sit up but his body burned and he stumbled to the side. Ludwig gently forced him to stay put. "H-How could you let him do that!?"

"I didn't have a choice," Ludwig stated. "If I stopped him, we wouldn't have gotten you back. Besides, that man is just as stubborn as you."

Gilbert felt like he was going to cry. "No... No, I have to go back! Take me back to him!" he cried out as he tried to sit up again.

"Gilbert, calm down—" Gilbert's hands gripped his arm.

"No! I don't have a lot of time! They're going to kill him!" There was a fire and desperation in Gilbert's cracked voice that Ludwig had never heard before.

Lowering his voice, Ludwig asked, "Why do you want to go back so badly?"

"Because I love him!" Gilbert choked out. His eye filled with tears that quickly overflowed and dripped down his cheek.

Ludwig knew he couldn't deny Gilbert what he wanted. Somehow, he knew all he needed to in those few words. His brother was in love with someone – someone who he clearly cared enough about to go through all this pain and still want to go back for. Without saying another word, Ludwig nodded and climbed back into the front, and set Ivory on a course back to where Ivan was.

/

As they approached, they heard the final sounds of swords clanking from inside. Ludwig didn't move, and a few seconds later a few men ran out of the building. Some were injured and helping each other, but then two came out holding Ivan, who was unconscious. The guards had gotten Ivan back safely, and Ludwig was relieved about that; he was worried he would have to fight. It was good that these guards had the honor of saving their prince.

One guard approached the carriage. "Sir Ludwig, what are you doing here?"

"Gilbert wanted to come back," he stated simply. "I'll take Prince Ivan back to Wayland for you, your horses are too far away."

The guard nodded and told the others to help Ivan into the carriage. Resting the prince next to Gilbert, they covered him up with the fur and then left.

Once they were gone, Gilbert looked at Ivan and then whispered his name. When he didn't get a response, he started to cry again. He couldn't help it, it was pure instinct. As the carriage started moving again, Gilbert scooted closer, forcing his sore body to move. He had to make sure Ivan was alive. Pressing two fingers under Ivan's jaw and feeling that weak pulse was the best feeling ever. A huge wave of relief washed over him and he breathed out a heavy sigh.

'He's alive...' he told himself as if he had to reassure himself. He kept his fingers on Ivan's pulse, and for some reason unknown to him, he continued to cry. He wasn't sad, he was extremely happy, actually. Both he and Ivan were alive and on their way back to Wayland, but something about seeing Ivan next to him, alive after coming to save him, just made the tears pour from his eye.

He was exhausted. His eyelid was getting heavy and he felt weak from everything that had happened. Choosing not to fight it and leaving himself in the trusted hands of his brother and the other guards, he let himself fall asleep next to Ivan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks for reading!**  
>  If you like this fic, please let me know with a comment! It's what keeps us writers going!  
> Follow me on [**twitter**](https://twitter.com/squeakster_) for personal/fanfic updates!


	12. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Originally posted February 6, 2015**

When Gilbert next woke up, he felt extremely sluggish. Most of the pain in his body had faded to a dull ache, as if he'd done some exercising the previous day. He was uncomfortable, though. There were bandages wrapped snugly around his arms, legs, chest, and one around his head to cover his left eye. It made him feel bulky and weighed down, like he couldn't move freely, which he hated. He was also warm; too warm to be comfortable at all. It felt like his body was burning from inside.

Slowly blinking his good eye open, the mid-morning light filled his sight. It burned and made him squint until he adjusted.

'Where am I...?' was his first thought, not recognizing the place, and then next all that filled his mind was Ivan. He couldn't remember much aside from seeing Ivan beside him in the carriage, and he didn't even remember being taken out of the carriage or going into a building either. He shifted his still-sore body, but when he felt an ache wrack through him, he opted for just tilting his head to the side. Across the room at a desk he saw a familiar blond writing on a piece of parchment.

"Ludwig?" he called out to him, his voice breaking at the end of the spoken name. His throat was too dry.

Ludwig was surprised to hear the voice but turned around to see Gilbert looking at him. He stood up and pulled a chair next to the bed and sat beside him.

"You're awake," he said.

"Seems that way..." Gilbert's words should have been sarcastic and joking, but they weren't, and that worried Ludwig some.

"How do you feel?"

Hesitating, Gilbert breathed out softly. "I'm...not sure..." He really wasn't. It was a strange feeling to describe. "The pain isn't that bad, but...I feel...kinda scared..."

"That's only natural. You'll be fine."

"What about Ivan?" Gilbert asked. "Is he okay?"

Ludwig nodded. "A doctor is with him and treating his injuries." Gilbert sighed but still looked upset. "His wounds weren't as bad as yours. Luckily his guards got to him before they did anything too terrible."

Gilbert knew that Ludwig was telling the truth, his brother would never lie to him, but until he saw Ivan with his own eye, he wouldn't completely feel at ease. Ivan's pulse was so weak the last time he saw him, and he had no idea of what _they_  did to him. As the sleepiness left him, he began to think more, and realized that there were many things he didn't know.

"Hey, Ludwig...?" he spoke quietly. The blond next to him leaned closer to show that he was listening. "How long has it been? Since we were on the carriage, I mean."

"About two days," Ludwig replied, and then noticed a surprised look on his brother's face. "Both you and Ivan were hurt, though you more than him."

"Is he awake?"

Ludwig nodded. "He woke up yesterday, but I hear that his father has forbidden him from leaving his room until he's completely fine."

"You're sure he's okay?" The worry in Gilbert's voice reminded Ludwig of a tiny, important detail – Gilbert loved Ivan.

"He's fine," Ludwig reassured him. "From what I hear he's surrounded by doctors and servants, being treated for every little scratch."

"Careful. Spite doesn't look good on you," Gilbert commented.

"You were beaten for days, but they only had one doctor see you."

"Yeah, and? I'm a knight, Ludwig, not a prince," Gilbert said and sighed. "My life doesn't matter to them, you know that. I'm disposable, remember? I came here knowing I could die. That was my job. Keep Ivan safe or die. I accepted that." He then chuckled. "I'm probably pissing people off by not dying."

Ludwig stayed silent, knowing that anything he said would only upset Gilbert, and he still had some bad news to tell him.

"Where am I, anyway?" Gilbert broke the tense silence.

"You're back at the Braginsky castle, in one of their spare rooms."

"I see... Does King Nikolai know about any of this?"

"He greeted us when we returned," Ludwig said. "He didn't look happy, but he allowed us to bring you in and get you treatment."

"Surprising. That man hates me. Now, I _know_  that he's angry that I'm not dead. He's been trying to get rid of me for a while."

Ludwig had words on his tongue, but he couldn't say them. Gilbert was in a better mood than he expected, but it almost seemed...forced. Like his seemingly carefree attitude was a mask hiding something awful. Ludwig still had those things to tell him. Gilbert was strong, and he was pretty good at hiding his distress and pain when others were concerned, but this... Ludwig knew it would break Gilbert, and he feared what would become of his older brother.

"Gilbert, I have to—"

The door of the room opened, surprising both men. In walked in a familiar face to Gilbert – the doctor who treated his stab wound. Also the man who embarrassed him thoroughly and made him think there might be something wrong with his cock. He was carrying two bags in his hands. One was his medical bag, faded leather and old looking, while the other was fancy with gold accents.

"Oh, he's awake. Good." The doctor had a smile as he stepped over to the bed. "How do you feel, Sir Gilbert?"

"Little sluggish, but I'm all right."

"Any pain?"

"A little. Most of it has faded though."

The doctor nodded, pleased. "Good. I'll change your bandages, and then we'll get you dressed."

"For what?" Gilbert asked.

The doctor's eyes widened and then looked to Ludwig. "You haven't told him?"

Ludwig shook his head.

"What? Tell me what?" Gilbert asked urgently.

"The king wants to see you. And Prince Ivan. Everyone, actually. He's throwing a bit of a feast for everyone involved in his son's rescue." He pulled back the blanket from Gilbert's body, revealing the albino's bandaged form. His entire body was practically wrapped in white bandages, while wearing only some torn and dirty white shorts.

"Can I even walk?" Gilbert asked. "I got shot with two arrows in my legs, so."

This knowledge was new to Ludwig. "What?" He looked worried.

"Calm down, Ludwig. That face doesn't suit you." Gilbert forced himself into a sitting position, grunting a little as he did.

"You can walk, though you might have some trouble." The doctor helped Gilbert's legs off of the bed, and then apologized when the albino hissed in pain. "I have crutches for you to use." He began to unravel the bandages from Gilbert's torso, but was suddenly stopped by Ludwig.

"I want to do it. He's my brother."

Both Gilbert and the doctor were surprised, but the doctor stepped back and bowed. "Very well. Have him dressed in the clothes in this bag," he patted the fancy bag, "and in the dining hall when you're done."

"All right."

The doctor went to the door. "Oh, and there's a jar with a green label on it in my bag. Rub some of that around his left eye." He left.

Ludwig felt a strange feeling in the room, and he realized why when he turned back to face Gilbert. The albino was gently pressing his fingers against the bandage covering his left eye. He knew why, too. The downfall had already begun.

Ludwig ignored the feeling and continued where the doctor left off, and started to unravel the bandages from Gilbert's chest. About halfway through, Gilbert shifted one pink eye up to him.

"Ludwig...?" he began softly. "My eye... Am I blind...?"

Ludwig bit the inside of his lip. "... According to the doctor...yes."

Gilbert took in a shaky breath. The words made him feel like he'd been stabbed with a knife – and he had the experience to compare the two. He was blind in his left eye, and it took him a few moments to really process that fact. Ludwig continued to remove the bandages until his marked torso was bare.

"L-Ludwig, that means I... I—"

"I know," Ludwig answered quickly. "We'll worry about it later, all right? You'll be fine, I promise—"

"Don't make promises like that!" Gilbert yelled and pushed Ludwig's hands off of him. "I'm blind in one eye! You know what's going to happen so don't try to act like everything will be perfectly fine!"

Ludwig stayed quiet.

"Has our king heard about me yet?" Ludwig's continued silence was proof enough. "Has he said anything...?"

Ludwig gave a weak nod. "He sent a letter... Once you recover and we return to Bellmore, you'll be removed from the White Knights..."

Instantly, tears poured out of Gilbert's eye. It shocked Ludwig, as he'd never remembered seeing his brother cry, or at least not that much. Gilbert choked back sobs that he wanted to let wail and echo, but he couldn't let his younger brother see him in such a way. His entire life revolved around being a White knight. He was the Ghost of Bellmore. He was the best stealth knight of the order. He was looked up to by many other knights, and now he wasn't even going to be one of them once he returned home. They'd take his cloak, his titles, and kick him out of the building where they all lived. Gilbert used to have an image of what it'd be like when he'd return home. He'd be welcomed back by his fellow knights, rewarded and praised for protecting Prince Ivan, but instead, he would be mocked and stripped of everything he'd been for more than a decade.

'What am I going to do...?' he repeated the question over and over as his brother helped him with the bandages. His crying didn't seem to bother Ludwig, who kept a straight face and didn't say a word.

/

"I cannot believe you disobeyed me."

Ivan had grown used to hearing the words. They were the only words his father seemed to know how to say at the moment. Ivan was awake, his minor cuts tended too, and a doctor affirmed that there was no permanent damage done to his skull or neck from the pipe that knocked him out. It was only after King Nikolai was sure that his son was okay that he started to lecture him.

"You disobeyed me. Just to save that failure of a knight." The king shook his head in disappointment. "He's a disgrace. I should have gotten rid of him when I had the chance. Why do you care so much about him? He's just a knight. He was supposed to die for you if he had to, so why?"

Ivan had enough. He looked up at his father, purple eyes smoldering with hate. "Why...? He was the only one who cared about me. Around him I wasn't a prince. I was just me."

Nikolai looked confused. "But you are a prince. You should be grateful that you were born into royalty."

"No, I'm not." Ivan paused. "I do not want to live here. I do not want to be royalty. That is why...as soon as I'm healed, and Gilbert is returned home, I'm leaving this city."

"You cannot be serious."

"I am," Ivan stated, keeping his hateful stare on Nikolai. "This city has nothing for me. I am done with it."

Infuriated, Nikolai stood up. He stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him without saying another word to his son. The loud noise made Ivan's head ring, but it didn't matter. He was set on leaving. He was sick of being a prince. If he had to, he'd build his own home in the middle of the forest, or travel to a faraway land where he'd be just another face in the crowd. He just didn't want to be a prince anymore, for his entire life had revolved around that. From a young age, he was taught what was proper and what was not, who he was allowed to talk with, who he had to marry, who he couldn't love. All it rewarded him with was several attempts to take his life, and nearly killing the man he loved.

Roughly a half hour after Nikolai left, the door opened again. Ivan was half expecting it to be his father coming back to yell at him some more. Instead, it was the strange doctor that had saved Gilbert's life, possibly twice.

"Can I help you, doctor?" Ivan asked.

"Sir Gilbert has woken up." Ivan's eyes widened. "You told me to tell you when he woke up, so."

"Yes, take me to him."

"But, your father...?"

"I do not care what he says," Ivan stated sternly. "Take me to my knight."

"Very well."

The doctor helped Ivan from his bed, and then led him down some halls. Ivan tried to believe that he would keep it together when he saw Gilbert, but in truth, he wasn't sure if he could. The last image he had of him was so horrid and that's all he could see. Seeing him again might just make him crack. He felt so guilty, even though he knew it wasn't his fault that he'd gotten sick, and Gilbert surely wouldn't blame him for everything. Still, there was a voice in the back of his head that told him that Gilbert had come too close to death too many times when around him. Ivan was starting to believe that it would be best for Gilbert to get away from him as soon as he could, but the selfish part of him wanted to keep him for just a little while longer.

/

There was a knock at the door that made both Gilbert and Ludwig glance over. Ludwig had just finished re-wrapping a bandage around Gilbert's head to cover his eye, and was now just making sure it was snug. The doctor came in and neither of them said a word, but when Ivan walked into the room after him, Gilbert tensed up. He felt a mix of relief, terror, fear, and sadness upon seeing Ivan again.

Ludwig heard the way Gilbert's breath caught in his throat and saw how his eye widened. Gilbert really was in love with this man, and that fact worried Ludwig. Ivan was a prince; a prince who had tons of horrible rumors and a dark history around his family. Gilbert only knew him for about a month, so how much could he really, _truly_  know about him? Gilbert was a knight, both were men, and both were forbidden from each other. Their situations would make it impossible to be together, and it would only lead Gilbert to heartache.

The doctor left Ivan with the other two, and the prince took a step in. He was relieved to see Gilbert awake and with less blood on him, but it still hurt to see him wrapped up in all those bandages.

"Sir Ludwig, if you wouldn't mind, I would like to speak with Gilbert alone for a while," Ivan requested.

Ludwig looked back to Gilbert, wondering if it was a good idea to leave his brother alone with the prince, when suddenly Gilbert put his hand on his arm.

"Please, Ludwig," was all Gilbert said. His bloodshot eye begging him to leave he and Ivan alone. Obeying his brother's wishes, Ludwig nodded, but he leaned down to Gilbert.

"Don't you ever say that you're disposable again," he whispered seriously to him, but was clearly hiding some pain. "Do you understand me?" Gilbert gave a single nod in understanding, though was a little surprised by his brother's sudden words. Ludwig walked passed Ivan, glancing at him before leaving the room.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Ivan rushed to Gilbert and kissed his forehead. He wrapped his arms around the smaller body, holding him as gently as he could.

'He's alive. He's breathing. He's here,' Ivan thought to himself, as if seeing Gilbert talk wasn't enough proof until he actually touched him. Without meaning to, but doing nothing to stop it, Ivan began to cry as he nuzzled his nose into Gilbert's white hair, breathing in that familiar scent.

"Thank you," Ivan mumbled through soft sobs. "Thank you for being alive. The last time I saw you I thought you were going to die. Thank you for not doing that, Gilbert. Thank you so much."

Hearing Ivan so relieved—feeling his hands shaking and fingers gripping his arms—made Gilbert cry as well. He was emotionally so broken down and he had many tears to shed, and seeing Ivan crumble made him do so as well.

Ivan held him tighter but made sure that he wasn't hurting him; he never wanted to let him go. He wasn't sure why Gilbert was crying too, but he didn't care. As long as he was alive, that's all that mattered. Ivan stopped crying first, and kept Gilbert close until he too stopped. Pulling back to look at Gilbert's face, he saw the wetness of smeared tears on the pale cheek. He gently rubbed at the tears with his thumb.

He had to take a moment to really take it all in; to appreciate that Gilbert was right in front of him. Ivan gazed at him, thankful that the man was there. He traced the structure of Gilbert's cheekbone, feeling his tears on his thumb, and looked deep into his one eye. There was something different about this Gilbert, though. No matter how long he stared, Gilbert's expression didn't change from looking exhausted and defeated. It unsettled Ivan. The pink in Gilbert's eye was no longer bright, like his spirit had been broken.

It didn't matter, Ivan figured. As long as Gilbert was alive, he'd bounce back eventually. Or so he hoped.

"How do you feel?" Ivan finally asked. "Are you all right?"

Gilbert gave a weak nod. "Physically, yeah, I'm fine." His voice was cracking and wavering. Ivan knew he was on the verge of crying again, like talking was just too much for him. The prince sat beside him, gently holding one of Gilbert's hands in his own.

"What's wrong? Tell me," Ivan requested.

The words made Gilbert's eye wet. He couldn't help it. Just thinking about it made him want to cry. Gilbert leaned his forehead into Ivan's shoulder.

"I don't wanna talk about it," Gilbert mumbled, voice cracking.

Ivan understood. He didn't want to push or force Gilbert to talk if he didn't want to, so instead he just hugged the man close and kissed into his hair. He was dying to know why Gilbert was upset, what happened to him, and if he was truly all right. He was told nothing about Gilbert's injuries, other than that he'd recover in a week or so. That wasn't new, so Ivan didn't worry, but there was definitely something wrong that made Ivan feel almost nauseous.

It felt like forever before Gilbert moved back from Ivan. Much to Ivan's surprise and confusion, Gilbert flashed him a smile. It looked genuine, but it wasn't.

"Your father will be even more pissed if we're late to his feast," Gilbert said. "Help me get dressed. Clothes are in that bag," he pointed to it.

The carefree tone of his voice gave Ivan chills. Why was he acting like that? Ivan didn't refuse or ask questions. He pulled the clothing from the bag, noting that it was well made casual clothing, something that he himself would wear, and knelt to the floor to help Gilbert's bandaged legs into the black pants. Next, he retrieved a red, silky tunic that had gold accents around the cuffs of the sleeves, with gold lining where it buttoned up the front. He was careful and slow, as he didn't want to accidentally hurt Gilbert by touching his wounds. In the bottom of the bag there were tiny black flat shoes for Gilbert. He helped slip them onto his feet, and then offered the albino his hands.

Gilbert had that emotionless expression again, but he took Ivan's hands regardless. It was eating him up inside to keep secrets from Ivan, but he didn't want to worry him anymore than he probably was. It was counter-productive; Ivan was made even more worried by Gilbert's silence about the subject.

Helping Gilbert to his feet, Ivan took a moment to look him over. Gilbert almost looked like a prince himself. Well dressed and elegant. Beautiful, even if he was bandaged up. As Ivan walked him to the door, Gilbert grabbed the crutch that the doctor left in the room earlier, and put it under his arm to help.

"I could help you walk?" Ivan offered him his hand again.

Gilbert shook his head. "I have to learn to not lean on you so much." The words hurt Ivan, and he knew it'd hurt more if he knew the context behind them. Soon Gilbert would leave his castle and city, returned to his own life. However, Gilbert didn't know what his life would be once he was back in Bellmore. Either way, Ivan wouldn't be there for him to lean on.

Ivan simply nodded, pretending like he was fine with it. He then leaned down to Gilbert, his face only and inch away. The knight didn't move, flinch, or even blush like he usually did when Ivan got that close. The prince kissed his lips, knowing that once they were out of the room, he wouldn't have that chance again for a while. He'd wanted to kiss Gilbert ever since he got in the room, but he wasn't sure if Gilbert would allow it. He did, but there was a problem that made Ivan's stomach feel like it was twisting into a knot.

Gilbert didn't return the kiss.

/

Once leaving the room, the two saw Ludwig sitting in the hall. The blond immediately stood up and went to them. Gilbert gave him that same smile that he gave to Ivan, but everyone knew he was faking it.

"Shall we go?" Ivan asked. Ludwig nodded in response, and then looked to Gilbert. The albino didn't say a word, and just stared down the hall at nothing. It worried both Ivan and Ludwig, but knew it was best to not speak or ask questions of it.

The walk to the dining hall was almost painful. It would have been easier if it was completely silent, but the butt of Gilbert's crutch would click against the ground every second or so, causing a small echo to ring through the hall. Hearing the albino grunt only made it worse. Both Ludwig and Ivan knew that he was in pain, but also knew that Gilbert was too stubborn to accept their help.

When the three got close to the dining hall they could hear the chatter of those inside already. Ivan opened the door to allow Gilbert in, and let Ludwig in as well before himself. Inside, the six or so guards who aided Ludwig were already eating and flushed red with drink. Leave it to King Nikolai to start a feast before all the guests have arrived. It was typical.

"Ah, my son and more guests approach!" Nikolai beamed in a strangely happy way as he stood up from his chair at the end of the table. Ivan guessed that he'd been drinking and that was what caused his friendly demeanor.

"Come! Sit and drink to your heart's content!"

Hesitating for a moment, Ivan then accepted. He looked at the two beside him, gave a little smile, and then led them to some empty chairs. They all sat in a line. Ludwig was, of course, next to Gilbert, while Ivan sat on the other side of Ludwig. It was for the best, however. Ivan knew that if he sat beside Gilbert, they'd talk and he might reveal something about their relationship.

Surprisingly, it didn't take long for Gilbert to get in a happier mood, though it was probably from all the vodka he was gulping down his throat. It worried Ivan; he'd never seen Gilbert drink so heavily before. He couldn't bring himself to say anything about it, though, no matter how many times he heard the albino call for a refill. Gilbert was finally laughing and smiling, and even though it was only because of the alcohol, Ivan couldn't bear destroying his moment of happiness.

It was almost eerily uneventful. Everyone's laughter and the sound of clanking mugs and glasses filled every corner of the room. Gilbert seemed to forget all about his worries, and even Ludwig cracked a smile after putting some vodka in him. Something about it felt so wrong, and that feeling stayed in Ivan's gut the entire time. He noticed a look his father was giving him. It was like a glare; as if he was silently expressing his disapproval with him about what they spoke of earlier. He chose to ignore it.

He snapped from his thoughts when a familiar voice yelled out, "Hey! I asked for more drink, idiot!"

The voice didn't bother anyone else, but Ludwig and Ivan turned their heads for they recognized the owner of the voice – Gilbert.

Ludwig knew from experience that Gilbert wasn't a violent or mean drunk; he was more the type to spew about life, cry, or confess his love to strangers, so the outburst came as a bit of a shock to him. A servant girl apologized several times before hurrying to bring Gilbert more drink as he requested, but there was a look of disdain etched onto the albino's face.

Gilbert was infuriated. The vodka had made him feel good for a while, but the reality was beginning to seep deeper than the alcohol. He began to realize how things were, that this was essentially his "going away" party. The party that proved to him that he was never fit to protect Ivan. He needed his little brother and six other guards to do it. It made him burn with resentment, not only for himself but for everyone else too. Even if he wasn't fit to protect Ivan, he was supposed to die trying. They couldn't even give him the honor of dying for his mission. Instead, he would return home to everything he loved, and have it all stripped away from him. Part of him couldn't believe that he was thinking that he'd rather die than live, but what was waiting for him back home in Bellmore? A disappointed king? Smug knights who would claim that they were right about him? A job working as a servant or stable boy? Or perhaps he'd be picked up by a brothel because of his looks? They'd approached him a few times as he was growing up, but he was a White Knight now. He was feared as the Ghost of Bellmore because of his silent and deadly arrows, and he refused to believe that he'd be reduced to a dirt-covered stable worker, or making a living from selling his body to strangers.

Next to him, Gilbert didn't realize that his brother and lover were beginning to chat.

"I wish I could do more for him..." Ivan mumbled.

Ludwig glanced to him. He didn't want to talk to him, but Ivan looked just as devastated as Gilbert, which he just didn't understand.

"Just be happy that everyone's alive. Gilbert will be fine." The blond took a drink.

"I know... But I feel like maybe I haven't treated Gilbert as well as I could have. He risked his life to save me, twice, all because it was his job, and I—"

"You're wrong," Ludwig interrupted him. Ivan looked at him in surprise. He glanced to Gilbert next to him—who was busy belting out some song with a group of fellow drunken knights. At least he looked happier—and then scooted closer to the prince.

"It was Gilbert's job to keep you safe, but that's not the only reason. When I was taking him back to the city, he demanded I take him back to you. When I asked why he was so determined to, he blurted out that he loved you."

Ivan's eyes widened in shock. 'Gilbert...loves me...?'

"I don't know what happened between you two in the month that he's been here, but I've never seen that look in his eyes before." Ludwig sighed. "Whatever happens, take care of him, and do not lie to him, even if it's to make him feel better. He's already been hurt enough because of you, don't add to it."

Ivan saw the slight glare in Ludwig's eyes. The man was demanding that he take care of his brother. He was confused about what brought up the strange conversation, but his mind was still stuck on the fact that Gilbert loved him, and that he came back for him because he loved him. On one end, he was ecstatic. Gilbert loved him. Loved /him!/ He'd wanted to tell Gilbert how he felt for so long, and he was excited that he might finally have the chance to confess his love. However, on the other end, he was worried that if both confessed their love, it would just make it harder for Gilbert to leave. The albino was already upset as it was, and Ivan still didn't know why since Gilbert refused to tell him. The last thing he wanted was to make Gilbert even more upset.

In the end, Ivan simply nodded. Silently promising to take care of Gilbert.

The rest of the party looked much like the first part. King Nikolai spent some time drunkenly thanking each guard for safely returning his son. He even thanked Gilbert, which made him light up with a beautiful glow of pride that almost looked like it was going to make him cry. Soon the room began to empty, guards went back to their quarters for the night, and Nikolai turned in for bed as well.

As they were leaving, Ivan called out for a guard.

"You. Escort Sir Ludwig to his room. See that he's comfortable."

Ludwig looked at him strangely.

"It's been a long day, and this could be your last night here before you head home. The least I could do is make sure you're comfortable."

Ludwig reluctantly accepted, glancing to his brother. "Fine. I'll see you both in the morning."

"'Night, little bro!" Gilbert laughed, and then accidentally tripped over his crutch and fell against Ivan. Luckily the prince was sturdy enough for both of them and held onto him.

"Come on, let's get you back to your room before you injure yourself."

/

Gilbert was a bit of a pain to walk back to his room. He was a bit drunk, and it was hard enough for him to walk with a crutch, but on top of that he was wobbling from side-to-side and stumbling. Ivan held his arm to keep him from falling all the way back to the room.

Something changed between the time they left the feast and when they arrived in Gilbert's room. Gilbert was no longer stumbling as much, and he didn't even look drunk. His expression faded to one that seemed emotionless. It was that same look from before. Like a light had gone out.

Ivan had placed him on the bed and started to help remove his slip-on shoes and fancy clothes. It was better to sleep in something less expensive. Ivan retrieved a matching shirt and trousers for him. Gilbert sat in silence, but his mind was racing a mile a minute. His anger had boiled to the top when he was at the feast, though he tried not to let it show too much. He lashed out at that innocent girl because of it, and after that he tried to keep himself calm. The frustration was bubbling inside of him, but after being away from everyone and alone with Ivan, he felt that anger quickly turning into sadness and fear again.

Gilbert's lip began to tremble as Ivan finished dressing him. The prince had that smile on his face. The smile that Gilbert loved. It was one that used to make him blush and feel anticipation, but all it did now was make his eye sting with tears.

"All right," Ivan hummed softly as he pulled the blanket over Gilbert's body. "You're all ready for bed."

Gilbert stared at him, wondering how he could sound and look so cheerful. Ivan had to be struggling inside, right? It couldn't just be Gilbert who was suffering.

"I'll be back in the morning." Ivan leaned down, kissed Gilbert's forehead, but when he pulled back, he felt Gilbert's hand grip onto the tail end of his scarf.

"Please stay with me," Gilbert begged. He was beyond the point of pretending to be okay. He wanted to cry, and he wanted Ivan to stay with him. "Just until I fall asleep is fine, but please just stay—"

"You don't have to beg me, Gilbert," Ivan interrupted and kept his smile sweet. "I'll stay." He got a chair from across the room and sat next to the bed. It was silent for a while. Gilbert was trying his best to keep from bursting out into tears, and to just relax.

"Gilbert?" Ivan spoke softly, gaining the albino's attention. Gilbert turned his head slightly to look at him. "If you want to talk, I am here," he said. He wanted Gilbert to know that he was always there for him to talk to.

Gilbert choked back a whimper in his throat, his eye teared up, and he turned his face away from Ivan.

The action hurt the prince, feeling like Gilbert didn't trust him. Why was he acting like that? Ivan thought that Gilbert loved him, according to Ludwig. He didn't understand why someone would turn away from the one they loved. He sighed to himself, accepting that maybe he and Gilbert just weren't as close as before.

"I..." Gilbert's voice started and rang in Ivan's ears. "I'm scared."

"Scared?"

"Not really of something, but...I just feel scared." Gilbert paused for nearly half a minute. "Whenever I close my eyes... Eye, I mean..." he looked dreadful at that. "I see that man standing over me, hurting me..."

The fact that Ivan couldn't erase that memory from Gilbert's mind killed him.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? I cannot make you forget, but maybe I can ease your pain?" Ivan asked.

Gilbert shrugged weakly. "Not sure... My body still aches, and the images in my head make me feel like vomiting."

Ivan leaned closer and gently stroked some of the white hair from Gilbert's forehead. "Maybe you should take a bath?" he suggested.

Gilbert tilted his head, cocking an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Baths are relaxing. The water helps soothe aches and pain, and could help with tension too," he said. "You bathed after getting injured once before, remember? You said you enjoyed being pampered. I could pamper you again."

Gilbert thought about it for a few seconds. Maybe some down time with Ivan would help him at least relax; he felt constantly nervous and on edge, and trying to hide it from everyone made him feel like he was going to have an anxiety attack, so this pampering that Ivan was offering might release some of that emotional strain. He thought before about trying to avoid Ivan, just to make leaving easier. But he couldn't. He didn't want to. He wanted to be with Ivan and touch him and be touched. He wanted to be intimate with him again and tell him that he loved him. Those words were locked inside, though. If he said those three words to Ivan, leaving would be excruciating.

"All right, I guess that'd be okay..." Gilbert said, though it didn't look like the idea eased him at all.

Ivan smiled softly. "We'll do it tomorrow after you get sleep." He tucked Gilbert in snugly. Gilbert nodded and sighed shakily. "I'll stay with you until you fall asleep. Don't worry."

"Mm," was all Gilbert replied with. For the first time in days, he actually felt a little bit comfortable. 'Ivan's with me. He's next to me.' He told himself when those images of Crane and the others crept back into his mind. Ivan's presence helped some, but not as much as Gilbert had hoped it would.

Ivan watched as Gilbert's eye grew tired and closed, white lashes resting atop the pale cheek. Ivan wanted to tell Gilbert about his plan to leave his home. Maybe he could go live with him in Bellmore? It was a sweet dream, but something was nagging at him and telling him that it wouldn't work. Bellmore was too close to Wayland; people there would know him and likely treat him differently. All he wanted was to live a normal life, not a prince's. He figured that Gilbert would have other things to do back home. He was a knight, after all. The only reason he was even there was to protect Ivan. And now with the hideout of the enemy known, and a few of them dead, the threat was looking to be almost destroyed.

He didn't want it to end. He wanted Gilbert to stay, and he knew it was selfish, but...Gilbert loved him, right? Didn't he want to be with Ivan as well? Wouldn't he do whatever he could to stay by his side?

Watching Gilbert drift into sleep made Ivan sad. Even if the albino was lying right in front of him, he felt miles away. Gilbert's chest was rising and falling fluidly, and he actually looked peaceful. Ivan found himself suddenly smiling without even realizing it, but when he did, he only smiled more.

He stood up and gently stroked Gilbert's warm cheek. 'I love you, Gilbert...' He wished he could just say the words. Instead, he bent down, kissed the pale forehead, and then quietly left the room. Hopefully leaving Gilbert to a terror-less slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks for reading!**  
>  If you like this fic, please let me know with a comment! It's what keeps us writers going!  
> Follow me on [**twitter**](https://twitter.com/squeakster_) for personal/fanfic updates!


	13. A New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Originally posted July 20, 2015**
> 
> Final chapter.

Ivan was still awake far into the night. Thoughts and wonderings of Gilbert, his father, the enemy that was said to be dead, and the idea of him leaving home all filled his mind. He was going to leave, there wasn't any question about it. His father may not agree but he didn't care. Ivan would travel across the sea if he had to in order to get away. He wanted to go where no one knew his name or face. Unfortunately, in this dream of his, there was a certain Knight by his side who wouldn't be there in reality.

He rolled over onto his belly, shoving his face into the soft pillow as he did. The idea of Gilbert going with him only hurt more. He knew it was impossible since Gilbert was a knight sworn by duty to his king. The thought of Gilbert leaving was torture. He'd gotten so used to Gilbert being nearby. He'd become his friend and lover, someone — the only one — who Ivan truly trusted.

At least the final thought he had of Gilbert before sleeping was a nice one.

/

Gilbert was still sleeping when Ivan entered the room. It was expected. Gilbert was probably still exhausted and needed a lot of rest. Ivan didn't want to wake him just yet, so he sat in the chair beside the bed and just watched him. A thought entered his mind. He hated how hurt Gilbert got while on the job, and he began to think about Gilbert giving up on being a knight. It was his entire life, but he'd been lucky to not die already, and Ivan wanted to keep him safe. Maybe if Gilbert gave up his knighthood, he could go with Ivan and they could live together. It was something Ivan wanted very much.

"What are you staring at?" Gilbert's voice nearly made Ivan jump.

"What...?" Ivan asked dazedly.

"You were staring. You weren't blinking."

"Oh..." Ivan did feel his eyes burn a little. "Sorry. I was just lost in thought." He smiled.

Gilbert felt uneasy about the smile Ivan gave him, and narrowed his eye a little. Before he could say anything, Ivan stood up and went to the wardrobe.

"You slept in late. It's almost midday," Ivan spoke as he pulled clothing out of the dresser.

"Sorry, I was tired," Gilbert halfheartedly apologized. Ivan wasn't upset with him; in fact, he expected him to sleep a lot. He was still getting back to his usual self, if that was even possible after what happened.

"That's fine," Ivan said and waited a moment before speaking again. "How do you feel today? Any better?"

Gilbert rolled his shoulders a bit, feeling them ache. "A little. I'm still sore but I'm getting better. I'll be back on my feet in no time so—"

"I want you to quit being a knight," Ivan interrupted him, speaking honestly and urgently, putting his arms down at his sides with clenched fists. He then turned around to see Gilbert staring at him in shock.

"What...?" Gilbert asked with a breathy, confused voice.

Ivan tightened his jaw, but he looked more distressed than angry. "I... I cannot stand the thought of you hurt anymore. I nearly lost you twice now. I lose sleep over it. I worry everyday that something is going to happen to you." Ivan saw that Gilbert wasn't looking at him now; he looked to be ignoring him. Ivan knew that it was a huge thing to ask of Gilbert, but he only wished for Gilbert to be safe and happy. "Gilbert please, say something. I just—"

"Don't worry about it," Gilbert spoke and paused. "You'll get your wish soon enough. I'm going to be kicked out of the White Knights when I go home." Saying it out loud in acknowledgment felt like a kick to his stomach; like he was breathing life into a terrible and inevitable truth. He didn't want to believe that his life as a knight was coming to an end, but he knew that he couldn't run from it.

Ivan looked stunned, but guilt found its way into his belly. There was a look of anger, but defeated anger, on Gilbert's face. Like he didn't want to believe his own words.

"Gilbert, I... Why?" he asked, coming to sit beside the other.

Gilbert lifted his hand and used his fore and middle finger to give a light tap to the bandage over his left eye.

"I'm blind in this eye now," he said.

Resisting the urge to look completely shocked, Ivan let out a shuddery breath. "I'm sorry..."

"It's not your fault," Gilbert stated simply. He then chuckled. "Actually, it's probably my own fault."

Ivan raised his brows curiously. "What do you mean?"

"They thought they could bribe me. To sell you out. The guy wanted me to lead you to them in exchange for my own life. I replied by spitting in his face and giving him some choice words."

"Of course you did," Ivan said with an amused smile, though still looked sad.

"He got pretty mad after that and sent in the guy who...y'know. Did this." He pointed to his eye.

Ivan forced a smile. "You're too spunky. I knew they couldn't break you easily."

"They broke me quickly after that."

The words felt cold, emotionless even. It made Ivan feel terrible. It was still too soon for Gilbert to really joke about what happened, and Ivan understood that. Ivan looked at him sadly, and then scooted closer. Gilbert looked a bit confused, but didn't do or say anything when Ivan hugged around him.

Something about the warmth from Ivan's body had a tendency to make Gilbert want to cry. Part of him hated it because he thought it was weak and pathetic to cry so much, but another part of him just wanted to forget about being strong, and get the care and comfort that he needed.

"Hey, Gilbert...?" Ivan spoke as he gently rubbed up and down Gilbert's back.

"Hm?"

"Would you like your bath now?" he asked with a tone of hope in his voice. "I'll bathe you for as long as you want. I'll pamper you and make sure you feel good and comfortable."

Gilbert smiled against Ivan's shoulder. "Yeah, okay," he accepted. He'd be crazy to decline getting a bath from Prince Ivan.

Ivan pulled away. "Then we'll go." He offered Gilbert his hand, then helped him to his feet. Ivan collected Gilbert's clothing for after his bath while Gilbert stumbled to get his crutch. As much as Ivan hated seeing him struggle, he thought Gilbert's fighting spirit was inspiring, like he was determined to walk even just a little bit on his own, and Ivan admired him for that.

Once they met at the door, Ivan smiled at him. "Ready?" he asked. Gilbert stared up at him for a moment, and then nodded.

/

They passed a few guards on the way to the washroom, but none stopped them or said a word. They simply bowed in respect, possibly for both of them. In the washroom, Gilbert sat on a chair and waited for Ivan. Ivan was busy preparing his bath, spending a while making the water nice and warm for him.

As Gilbert watched, he noticed how happy Ivan seemed to be when helping him. He narrowed his eye, watching Ivan's every movement.

'He won't be with me forever. I have to do things on my own...' he thought. It was a hard truth, but one that he knew was true. Soon he'd leave, and soon he'd be on his own. Gilbert began to undress. Or at least attempted to. His arms still hurt from being chained to a wall and held in straining ways, so when he tried to lift the shirt over his head, his arms locked up and the fabric got caught on his head.

The groan from Gilbert got Ivan's attention. If Ivan hadn't been constantly worried about Gilbert, he might have laughed at the sight of him with a shirt stuck on his head with his arms trapped inside. He went over to him, loosened the shirt, and then tossed it aside. Gilbert looked annoyed once he could see again.

"You don't have to do these things by yourself. I'm here to help."

Gilbert looked at him with a lack of emotion in his eye. "You won't be here forever. I'll be on my own soon and I should do it myself." The statement came out cold and almost angry. It struck a nerve with Ivan.

Ivan was trying his best to help him, and Gilbert still put up a fight. It was extremely rude. For a moment, Ivan lost his head. His eyes narrowed into a glare and he loomed over Gilbert.

"If you are so keen on doing everything yourself, then fine, finish undressing and take your bath by yourself," his voice was dark.

Gilbert sat for a moment before once again trying to undress. His legs ached and he winced in pain. It lasted almost a minute before he finally broke. Ivan's gaze pierced through him, and he snapped.

"All right, Ivan! You win!" He shouted. Gilbert looked angry, but his eyebrow was pulled tightly to the center, wrinkling his forehead just slightly. "I need help! I need a lot of help! Okay!?" He started to cry, and Ivan was frozen. "I just—it's... When I go home, I'm gonna lose everything! I'm going to be completely alone and I hate being alone!" He wheezed and tried to keep his sobs from escaping.

Ivan's expression finally softened and he stepped closer to Gilbert, watching him cringe a little as he did. Seeing that made him feel terrible for lashing out at him, even if only a little. Ivan knelt to the floor in front of Gilbert, then began stroking his leg.

"That is what I wanted you to realize, Gilbert. There are people who want to help you. Me, and your brother too. We all want you to get better. And I'll make sure you're not alone. I promise."

Gilbert pushed Ivan's hand off of him. "Don't make promises you can't keep. Your father wants me gone, and I'm leaving tomorrow, right? You can't do anything."

Ivan knew that Gilbert was right, but he still wanted to be with him. He wanted it more than anything.

"I'm sorry, Gilbert," Ivan apologized. "I should not have gotten mad at you like that. I wanted to make you feel better, not worse." He nervously drew a few circles on Gilbert's thigh with his finger. "Can I bathe you? Please?"

Gilbert hated hearing that desperate tone in Ivan's voice. "Yeah, okay..." he replied quietly.

Ivan smiled at him. After removing the bandages, he offered Gilbert his hands and helped him up from his seat. Slowly, he led him over and helped him into the tub. Ivan scooped Gilbert into his arms and sat him on the floor of the bath, not minding that his sleeves got wet in the process. Gilbert still looked upset and Ivan wanted to change that, if only for a few minutes.

Carefully, Ivan began to drag a wet cloth up Gilbert's arm. The bruises and cuts littering Gilbert's body made him sad to look at, but what made him feel even worse was the look on Gilbert's face. Ivan hated seeing Gilbert look so drained and beaten down. To him, it must feel like his life was ending. Everything he knew was being a knight, a protector of his king, so of course he was scared of what he'd become after. Many people in the world would see Gilbert as inhuman or strange. Religious and superstitious people would say he's a bad sign, bringing illness or misfortune — or even the devil — to their town. It surprised Ivan that Gilbert was a White Knight. The church they were aligned with had to have their own thoughts on Gilbert, but Ivan never thought to ask about it.

"I remember when we did this the first time..." Ivan spoke as he gently rubbed Gilbert's arm.

Gilbert turned his head to look at him. "What?"

"When you saved me the first time. I bathed you then too. I remember you were so nervous to be naked. You were timid and shy, but as soon as I started washing you, you relaxed and looked so peaceful." He paused to let Gilbert ponder his words. "That is why I'm doing this now. I want to make you feel better in whatever little way I can."

Ivan's words made Gilbert happy. "You are helping..." Gilbert spoke after a minute. It caught Ivan's attention. "I... I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here with me like this."

Ivan smiled at him, and then cupped his cheek. "I will always be here with you." He gave him a light kiss, and was pleasantly surprised when Gilbert returned it, albeit weakly. "Just like last time, I'll take you for a walk in the gardens. It's a nice and sunny day and you could use some fresh air."

Gilbert finally smiled a little. "Thanks. That does sound nice."

"And if you have trouble walking, I'll pick you up and cradle you so you don't strain yourself!" Ivan giggled, rubbing the cloth against Gilbert's chest.

Gilbert's eye went wide. "You can't do that. People will stare."

"So? They are unimportant," Ivan stated sternly.

'He's right,' Gilbert thought. 'None of them matter. Only—'

"But first I'll fill you with tons of yummy food! We'll have breakfast, and then after we'll go for a walk. Then later, if you want, we can sit by the fire and drink vodka and I could hold you until you fall asleep." Ivan made himself get butterflies just thinking about it.

Even Gilbert had to admit how nice that sounded. Sitting with Ivan, wrapped in warm furs, drinking, and listening to a fire crackle and pop in front of them. Falling asleep in such a manner would be lovely.

"What if someone walks in?" Gilbert asked. He had to be realistic. They weren't the only ones in the castle, so it was possible for someone to walk in on them.

"I will lock the door," Ivan said. "But I don't think anyone will bother us, especially not my father."

Gilbert tilted his head. "What do you mean?"

Ivan faltered, looking a bit nervous. "Nothing! It's not important." He forced a smile and then moved around the tub to wash Gilbert's other arm. Gilbert watched him, taking notice of his strange behavior.

'Did something happen between him and his father...?' he wondered. However, he found himself not being able to care too much when Ivan began to wash him more. The feeling of being bathed was wonderful, and it gave him a few butterflies when Ivan slipped his hand into the water to rub at his belly.

"Ivan..." Gilbert warned softly. The touch began to make his cheeks warm.

"I know. I won't touch you like that," Ivan promised. "I just love your soft little belly so much! I had to rub it!" He grinned when Gilbert's cheeks turned darker. Ivan leaned in and gave a soft kiss to Gilbert's cheek. "Do you want to get out?" he asked.

Gilbert nodded. "I don't want to look like a prune." He smiled crookedly.

"All right." Ivan set the cloth aside. "Try to hold around my neck and I'll lift you out." Gilbert obeyed, locked his hands behind Ivan's neck with a little trouble, and then let himself be lifted by the waist from the tub. Once Gilbert's feet were on the floor, Ivan held him closer. He pressed the pale, dripping-wet body against his own, and then brought Gilbert into a soft kiss. Ivan kept him there for more than a few seconds. He wanted to savor the kiss, and he did just that. Gilbert eventually had to pull away to breathe. His cheeks were a light pink, just as Ivan wanted them to be.

"You're so cute," Ivan cooed and kissed the corner of Gilbert's mouth. "Let's get you dry." He pulled away, leading Gilbert to the chair where he sat before. Ivan wanted Gilbert to continue thinking about him, and to continue blushing and perhaps thinking about naughty things. The more he distracted him with these thoughts, the less he'd think about the horrible things he'd been through, or what will happen when he left.

Gilbert couldn't stop his cheeks from turning a brighter pink when Ivan began to dry him. It was becoming a thing for him to have Ivan pamper him. He loved feeling so adored, and Ivan was very good at adoring him. The Russian started with Gilbert's long, toned legs. They had bruises on them, but the worst was the punctures where Gilbert had been shot with arrows. Ivan tried so hard not to hurt Gilbert, but when he touched the dry cloth to the area, he felt Gilbert twitch and heard him grunt quietly.

"I'm sorry," he apologized and looked up at him.

"It's fine." Gilbert smiled to reassure him. "It's just a little sore still, but it doesn't hurt that bad." It was a lie. The wounds still hadn't healed much and they stung when touched. He did his best to hide that from Ivan earlier, but he figured that the prince would find out eventually.

"I'll still be careful." Ivan continued to dry Gilbert's legs. Moving up, Ivan gave each thigh a soft squeeze and then made eye-contact with Gilbert. It made Gilbert's heart annoyingly flutter. Ivan thought it was cute how he had to look away from him and he simply kept doing what he was doing, but he, of course, kept teasing Gilbert. He gently gripped Gilbert's hips, giving both sides a little grope. Ivan's smile said that he was just innocently drying Gilbert and nothing more, but Gilbert knew that Ivan was trying to embarrass him — and it worked. The embarrassment continued on as Ivan and his towel worked up farther. Ivan rubbed all around Gilbert's belly, and then went to his chest where he set to drying the pink nipples there. They were starting to harden from the cold, but it made Ivan grin as his finger brushed over the tight nubs. Gilbert's annoyed face amused him, but he quickly moved on and rubbed Gilbert's neck before finishing with his arms.

"There. All nice and dry!" Ivan smiled happily and turned to get the clothes. "Oh, I need to wrap you in more bandages top." Ivan realized this and began looking through a cabinet for said items.

"Just my legs," Gilbert spoke and Ivan looked at him.

"Excuse me?"

"Just wrap my legs. My arms and body are fine, they're mostly healed now. My legs are what hurts and haven't fully healed yet."

"You're sure?" Gilbert gave him a nod. Ivan brought the bandages over and knelt in front of Gilbert, and carefully began to wrap his legs. Once he was done, he stood up and kissed Gilbert's forehead.

"There. Now to get you dressed." Ivan helped him into his clothes, and then had him stand to his feet. "Are you ready for breakfast now? I bet you're starving."

"I am," Gilbert actually chuckled.

Ivan was thrilled to hear it. "Well, let's go. I'll have you so full that you won't be able to move!" he exclaimed and led Gilbert away.

/

As usual, a parlor was soon filled up with delicious foods and drink for the prince and his knight. Gilbert was practically drooling over the breakfast food of bread, eggs, syrup, and small sausages. Ivan pulled out a chair for Gilbert, which he then sat in, and then took a seat beside him.

"No need to be shy. Dig in."

Without feeling any restraint or shame, Gilbert filled his plate with enough food to fill the both of them, and began to scarf it down like he hadn't eaten in days. Ivan was always shocked by how much Gilbert could eat; it was almost scary, and he wondered how he didn't choke on it with how fast he ate.

"So," Ivan eventually spoke. "Are you feeling better now?"

Gilbert looked at him as he chewed a syrup-covered piece of sausage, then swallowed. "I guess. I do feel less tired now."

"You went through a lot... Are you okay about that, though?"

"If you want to ask about my eye, just do it," Gilbert told him and bit into a sausage.

That stunned Ivan, and he sighed lightly. "I'm sorry. I want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm not," Gilbert replied quickly. "I mean, I will be. Eventually. Maybe. But right now...I feel really lost. I lost an eye, and because of it I'm going to be kicked out of a group that I've been with since I was a boy," he explained. "I'm passed that pathetic crying phase, I think. Now I just feel empty and confused. I'm scared of what comes next."

"I'm sure your king has something for you," Ivan said. "You were very brave in protecting me, and saved my life many times. You did everything your job asked of you. He'll reward you with something."

"Maybe, I don't know..."

"And if not, I'll reward you. I'm soon to be king, so if things don't work out, I can give you a title here."

Gilbert smiled a little. "Thanks... I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

Ivan smiled as well. "Let's not talk about that now. You should eat as much as you can, and then we'll go out walking. We'll make your last night here as good as it can be."

'My last night here...' Gilbert began to think about it. He never imagined that this was how he'd spend his last night with Ivan. For a while he imagined that their last night would be passionate and intimate; that their forbidden romance and lust would reach its climax and that would be it. For a while, he was okay with that image, but now...now he didn't even want to leave. He wanted to be with Ivan, and he hated that he wouldn't even have that passionate last night.

"Do you think your brother will be angry if I keep you to myself all day?" Ivan asked, scratching his cheek coyly.

"He'll be fine," Gilbert said. "He'll probably go into town, talk to your father, I don't know."

"You haven't spoken to him much? I thought he'd be glued to your side..."

Gilbert didn't reply at first. "I think he's giving me some space. Letting me, um...I guess, take care of some things."

Ivan didn't quite understand, but then something clicked in his brain and he remembered Ludwig telling him that Gilbert loved him. Maybe Ludwig was letting his brother have his time with Ivan before leaving. The idea made Ivan sad, but it also made him realize that he had to make his last night one that Gilbert wouldn't forget.

/

After breakfast, Ivan had Gilbert dress in nicer clothing. He wanted Gilbert to feel comfortable and warm, since it was a little chilly outside even if it was sunny. As they made their way through the halls, Gilbert suddenly grabbed Ivan's arm and stopped.

"Is something wrong?" Ivan asked as he turned around.

"There's something I want to do, before we go outside."

Ivan paused. "What is it?" he asked.

Gilbert looked a bit uncomfortable. "I want to see the doctor."

Ivan's expression turned worried. "Is something wrong? Are you in pain?"

"No," Gilbert shook his head. "I just...want to ask him about my eye."

"Gilbert..."

"I know, I know what he's going to say. But it's better if I hear it straight from him instead of wondering for the rest of my life."

Ivan breathed out. "I understand. I'll take you to him."

It took a few minutes to find the doctor's room, but Ivan could feel Gilbert's nervousness. It had its own aura around Gilbert, engulfing him. Ivan didn't understand why Gilbert wanted to talk to the doctor about his eye if he already knew that he was blind, but he didn't want to argue with Gilbert. He just wanted to give him what he wanted with no objections.

Ivan knocked on the door twice, and a few seconds later the doctor answered. "Ah, Prince Ivan, Sir Gilbert," he greeted with a bow of his head. "May I help you?"

Ivan glanced to Gilbert, who looked upset, and then back to the doctor. "Can we come in?"

The doctor nodded and let them in. "So, are you two feeling any better?"

"I'm fine," Ivan told him. "Gilbert wanted to talk to you."

"Oh?" The doctor looked to Gilbert. "What is it?"

Gilbert looked lost. Like he didn't know how to say what he wanted to say. "I wanted to ask about my eye," he finally started. "My brother told me, but... I want to hear it from you." He finally looked up at him. "Is it true? Am I really blind?"

The doctor refused to answer. Ivan could see his hesitation, and the utter desperation on Gilbert's face of how much he didn't want to believe it. Ivan could understand why the doctor didn't want to tell him the truth. The doctor sighed out, which Gilbert took as a bad sign and his expression shattered to a point of making Ivan's chest hurt.

"The poison...damaged it badly," he said. "I'm sorry. You'll never see out of your left eye again. I'm afraid that trying to fix it will cause you great amounts of pain, and may cause problems with your right eye as well. I'm truly sorry."

"It's fine." Gilbert turned away and walked to the door. "Thank you for all you've done, for Ivan and myself."

Ivan watched as Gilbert left the room. He turned to the doctor. "Thank you, doctor," he said and left the room as well.

Gilbert was sitting in the fetal position against a wall, burying his head into his kneecaps. It broke Ivan's heart to see him so hurt. He leaned down to Gilbert's side.

"I am so sorry, Gilbert..." he whispered.

Gilbert tilted his head up. His right eye was glazed over with tears, which instantly made Ivan tear up as well. What Gilbert did next shocked Ivan completely — he smiled. On the surface, it was a beautiful smile; seemingly cheerful and innocent, but Ivan knew better. Even Gilbert couldn't hold up his mask for long, and it was cracked and broken.

"Let's just go out and have a good time," Gilbert spoke, still smiling.

Ivan grabbed one of his hands. "All right. But first... I want you to get rid of that fake smile."

Gilbert did so, but out of confusion and his lips dropped into a frown. "What?"

"I can tell that it's forced. I don't want you to ever smile if it's not real."

Gilbert stared at him for a moment, and then smiled again.

Ivan smiled a little as well. "That's better."

"How do you know my smiles so well?"

"We have been together every day for several weeks. You learn a thing or two," Ivan spoke with a crooked grin and stood up, offering Gilbert his hand. Gilbert took it, and let Ivan lead him away.

/

Outside, the sun was shining bright, but the slight chill in the air felt nice. Gilbert realized that Ivan didn't care at all if people stared at them, as he had one arm looped with Gilbert's as they walked. Ivan mentioned before going outside that it was to help Gilbert walk, but Gilbert believed that to only be half true; he knew that Ivan really wanted to hold him, and in a way he could do it without the guards questioning him.

Ivan led him down to the sunflowers again, where they both admired them and the other flowers. Then, Ivan continued down the path. Gilbert recognized the area as the place where they used to sneak off to and kiss in the night. Thinking about it made Gilbert fidget and look away when Ivan smiled at him. Ivan loved it, though. He loved how Gilbert was still a little embarrassed about it .

Gilbert leaned against the tree as Ivan aimlessly toyed with some leaves on a low-hanging branch.

"So Gilbert," Ivan started. "Do you have any idea of what you'll be doing when you get home?" he asked.

The question created a knot in Gilbert's stomach, but he hid his fear by shrugging casually. "I have no clue. I guess that depends on my king."

"I see..." Ivan frowned. He wanted to tell Gilbert about how he planned to run away from the castle and live somewhere else. He had this image in his mind that when he told Gilbert, he'd happily offer to take him back to Bellmore with him and they'd be together. A real, "happily ever after," scenario, but Ivan couldn't tell him. Gilbert had enough to worry about; he didn't need a runaway prince to take care of as well.

Ivan saw Gilbert leaning against the tree, his eye closed as if he was sleeping standing up. He walked over to him, and without any warning he kissed Gilbert's lips. The pink eye opened, looking confused.

"What are you doing?" Gilbert asked.

"I'm still allowed to kiss you, right?"

Gilbert shifted his eye away. "Yeah, you are. It was just sudden."

"Spontaneous romance is good, is it not?" Ivan moved his body into Gilbert's just slightly.

"What if someone sees?"

Ivan brushed some of Gilbert's hair from his forehead. "You do not have to worry about that." He kissed him again. "None of them will question us. We are just back here together. I'm helping you recover and walk. We have many excuses. I can also have them fired from guard duty, so they won't risk anything."

Gilbert cracked a smile. "I guess you're right," he agreed. "I'm gonna miss this though."

Ivan nuzzled his face into Gilbert's neck, held him carefully and breathed in his scent. "I know." He kissed his skin. "I'm going to miss it too."

/

The rest of the day had an extremely sad feel to it. Both Ivan and Gilbert were dwelling on the fact that it was their last night together, but neither wanted to speak up about it. Around dinnertime, Ludwig joined them as well, to see how his brother was doing. He noticed the tension, and couldn't remember a time when his brother looked more sad than he did in that moment. Gilbert tried to play it off like he was fine, like he usually did, but it was painfully obvious that his smiles and chuckles were fake. They both hated seeing Gilbert like that, especially since Ivan told him not to smile if it was fake. Gilbert knew, though. He knew that they knew, but he still felt like he had to put on a mask to try to fool them, even if he knew it wouldn't work.

When night came, Ivan had taken Gilbert back to his own room. He helped him into nightwear and tucked him into bed, but Gilbert couldn't even look him in the eye.

"I'm leaving tomorrow," Gilbert finally spoke after several minutes of silence.

Ivan was surprised, but sat down on the edge of the bed. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

Gilbert nuzzled his head against the pillow. "Just stay with me until I fall asleep."

"I can do that." Ivan smiled and moved a little closer to stroke Gilbert's cheek. Gilbert tilted his head into the touch, which made Ivan smile. For a moment it looked like the Gilbert he adored, the happy Gilbert.

"Get some sleep, Gilbert," Ivan whispered to him as Gilbert leaned back into the pillows more. Ivan tucked him in again and kissed his forehead.

"Thanks. I'll try," Gilbert mumbled.

Ivan sat there for several minutes — close to a half hour he assumed — and Gilbert's breathing became lighter, indicating that he was asleep. Ivan waited a few more minutes before standing up. He glanced to Gilbert's sleeping face, and then leaned down. With a ghost-like touch, he kissed Gilbert's lips so gently, letting them linger for a second or two. After, he moved away, and quietly left the room.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Gilbert's eye slid open weakly. Tears filled the lid until they poured over and slid down the side of his face.

/

The next morning, Gilbert woke to some noise in his room. His eye sleepily blinked open, and at the foot of his bed he saw Ivan folding and packing clothes into a fancy case.

"Ivan...? What are you doing?"

Ivan glanced up to him. "Oh, good morning. Did I wake you?" he asked, and Gilbert replied with a shrug, sat up, and a, "it's fine," followed by a yawn. "I'm sorry. I'm packing the clothing you wore while you stayed here, as well as some armor, and some other small things. I figured you could use the help."

"Thanks." Gilbert carefully stood up from the bed, but when he faltered slightly, Ivan came running over. Gilbert held up his hand to stop him. "No. I appreciate the help, but I need to stand on my own."

Ivan didn't want to hurt his pride, so he just nodded and went back to packing.

"Have you seen my brother today?" Gilbert asked as he watched Ivan.

"Yes. I believe he's in the kitchen now. He was readying the horses earlier."

"Is he eating?"

"No, I think he's packing food for your trip."

Ivan gasped when he suddenly felt Gilbert's arms wrap around him from behind, his body pressed into him, and his hands gripped the front of Ivan's tunic.

"Gilbert?"

"I'm going to miss you," Gilbert whimpered into Ivan's back.

"Hey, hey," Ivan cooed softly as he turned around and stroked Gilbert's hair. "Don't be sad, Gilbie. We'll see each other again. I'll make sure to come visit you when I can." Gilbert just stared at him, so he began to twirl a lock of his hair. "Instead of being sad, just think about the fun times you had with me. Remember me with happiness, okay?"

Gilbert glanced aside. "I guess... I did have a lot of fun here...despite getting stabbed and half blinded, obviously."

Ivan smiled too when he saw Gilbert crack a smile. "See? We had fun. Like...sneaking around to kiss in the garden." Gilbert laughed softly and nodded. "And...bathing together several times. I made you feel good a lot too." He kissed Gilbert's neck, making him moan softly. "And when we'd eat together, how we'd talk for hours. The day I bought you blueberry bread. When we rode horses together."

"Those last two didn't end very well, remember?"

Ivan chuckled. "That's right... But you're okay. You're alive and you're strong, and eventually we'll have more memories to look back on."

Gilbert leaned up and kissed Ivan's jaw. "I hope so. I'll look forward to it."

The door suddenly opened and both flinched to look. Ludwig had paused in the doorway, not having expected to see Ivan and Gilbert hugging like they were.

"I'm sorry, I'll uh, come back later," Ludwig stuttered slightly.

"Calm down, Ludwig, relax." Gilbert moved away. "Did you need something?"

Ludwig closed the door. "I was wondering how long until you're ready to leave. King Braginsky doesn't seem happy that we're still here."

Gilbert looked at Ivan, and then back to Ludwig. "I guess soon, then. That man already hates me. I shouldn't make it worse by staying longer."

"Right..." Ludwig looked a bit awkward. "I'll give you two a few more minutes, but we really should be heading out soon, Gilbert."

"Thanks, I'll meet you in a bit," Gilbert replied. After Ludwig left and shut the door, Gilbert immediately hugged Ivan.

"Gilbert?" Ivan questioned him as he returned the hug.

"I'm sorry. I was hoping that we could at least have breakfast together. I hate that I can't have a proper goodbye."

Ivan pushed back some and used his hand to tilt Gilbert's face up. "Don't give a proper goodbye. Say, 'I'll see you soon,' rather than goodbye. We'll see each other again soon, I promise. And if not, we can always write to each other."

Gilbert stared at him for a moment, and then closed his eye with a smile. "You're right. I guess I'm just a little scared and sad that all of this is happening."

Ivan kissed his forehead. "That's normal, but you'll be fine."

Gilbert nodded once and slowly.

"Come on, you shouldn't keep your brother waiting," Ivan said and finished packing Gilbert's things for him.

After packing, Ivan helped Gilbert dress, and then walked him to the door. When Ivan reached for the handle, Gilbert pulled on his arm.

"Wait, before we leave." Gilbert pushed Ivan against the door, leaned up, and kissed him passionately.

The kiss surprised Ivan and it even made butterflies flutter in his stomach. He wrapped his arms around Gilbert's lower back, tilted his head, and deepened the kiss. Gilbert let out a little moan of happiness, but he knew that he couldn't let the kiss last much longer, lest it make it harder to leave. He pulled away only a bit and let his lips linger on Ivan's. Ivan saw Gilbert's eye shut and his teeth clench. It was hard to stop, for both of them, but Gilbert desperately wanted to stay in that embrace. He needed some comfort and love, but trying to stop and realizing that he should was harder than anything he'd ever done. Ivan kissed him gently once more, and even though Gilbert didn't kiss him back, Ivan knew that Gilbert appreciated it.

"We should go," Gilbert whispered once Ivan stopped kissing him.

Ivan nodded. "I'll walk you out. You're still having trouble walking."

"Thanks... I mean it."

Ivan smiled and kissed Gilbert's cheek. "Don't thank me." He turned and opened the door, then offered Gilbert his arm. "Shall we?"

Gilbert smiled a little, then nodded. "Yes."

/

Ivan led Gilbert out of the castle and into the courtyard. There were a few other guards, and Ludwig waiting on the carriage's front seat. Shortly behind Ivan and Gilbert were a few servants who carried out Gilbert's bags and loaded them onto the carriage. Gilbert went in front where his horse Ivory was strapped to it.

"Hey girl," he said and rubbed her snout, earning a soft snort from her.

"Are you ready?" Ludwig asked him.

Gilbert nodded and looked to Ivan, who then helped him up into the carriage's front seat next to Ludwig.

"Good luck, Gilbert," Ivan said with a smile.

"You too." Gilbert returned the smile.

Ludwig looked to Gilbert, "Ready?"

Gilbert breathed out and looked away. "Yeah."

Ludwig whipped the reins and both his and Gilbert's horse took off into a trot. After a few seconds, Gilbert looked back at Ivan, who was waving at him and still smiling. Gilbert waved back weakly, but felt a lump in his throat again.

"Are you sure you want to leave?" Ludwig asked him.

"I wasn't aware that I had a choice," Gilbert retorted quietly. "Of course I don't want to leave, but I'm a White Knight. My place is back in Bellmore, and I've always known that. This job was temporary. 'Protect the prince until the threat is gone.' The threat is gone, so I'm going home. I've known that from the start."

Ludwig noticed that Gilbert repeated the statement twice — that he always knew that he would have to leave, and yet it was killing him to actually do it.

"You really love him, don't you?"

"Yeah...but we can't be together," Gilbert replied. "I've always known that too."

Ludwig watched the expression — or lack thereof — on Gilbert's face. He looked like he wasn't feeling anything, just a plain expression, but Ludwig knew better. Gilbert was crying on the inside, and he couldn't do anything about it.

/

The trip home was hard. During the night, Gilbert would wake up screaming from a nightmare or crying about Ivan. Ludwig tried his best to calm him, but little helped. By morning, Gilbert had bags under his eye and he looked exhausted. Almost like life had completely drained from him. Despite this, they continued on to Bellmore.

It was mostly quiet in the city, until they got closer to the White Knight headquarters and the royal castle. People were lined in the streets and cheering out Gilbert's name, praising and adoring him. Deep inside, Gilbert's ego still lived on and the treatment definitely helped to make it grow. He'd remember that moment forever, but at that time, he couldn't feel proud at all.

Once at the gates, the guards let them in. A party of royal servants and a member of the king's personal council greeted them and had them follow him into the castle. Once again Gilbert was waiting by the same door he was stationed at when it all started. He remembered it like it was yesterday.

Ludwig helped Gilbert inside to their king, and then bowed in honor. Gilbert tried, but his legs were still injured so his body shook and he was obviously in pain.

"Stop, Gilbert," the king spoke. "You don't need to bow. I've heard of your injuries." Gilbert glanced up to him with worry. "Now, can you tell me what you learned? What happened in Wayland."

Gilbert explained what had happened. That Prince Ivan was targeted as part of a plot against the king and to take up power in Wayland.

"And your injuries? Will you recover? Is it true about your eye?"

"Yes, your majesty. I was blinded in my left eye when I was captured, but my other wounds will heal in time."

"I see..." The king shifted on his throne. "You understand that I cannot let you continue to be a Knight with just one eye?"

Gilbert nodded weakly. "I do."

"However... You are capable of doing other things to serve your king. Despite your age, you are exceptionally talented, and you have a way of speaking with people. I received word from Wayland that because of you, trading between our two cities will increase both in quality and quantity... But I doubt you want to oversee the affairs of simple merchants and traders, so... I will grant you a special seat on my council."

Gilbert looked stunned. "If I may ask, what does this job require me to do?"

The king smiled. "You will overlook the White Knight Order's affairs. You will be stationed out east in one of our biggest and most well-supplied forts, and you will oversee the training of new recruits and provide reports on them, and if you want, you may personally train these recruits as well. You'll be the lord of this fort, with all the perks of being so, such as personal guards and servants to serve your every desire," he explained. "I know you'd rather have a bow in your hand, but I cannot have you fighting anymore. In your state, you're much more valuable to the Order if you use your brain and knowledge. Do you accept?"

Gilbert took a moment to take it all in. It wasn't what he truly wanted, but it was more than what he thought he'd get.

"I accept. Thank you, your majesty."

"Very good. I suggest you head out there as soon as possible. I have a private carriage waiting for you already in the event that you'd accept."

"Your majesty?" Ludwig stepped forward suddenly. "It may be a lot to ask, but may I accompany my brother to the fort?"

The king looked confused. "Why?"

"He's been through a lot, so I'd like to stay by his side for a few days if possible, just to make sure he's okay."

The king rubbed his chin. "You're my personal guard, Ludwig. I'm not sure that having you away for that long is a good idea."

"It's all right, Ludwig," Gilbert spoke up. "I'll be fine on my own, I promise." He smiled.

"You're sure?" Ludwig asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. You should stay here and protect our king. I'll see you again soon."

"Right then," the king stood up. "Gilbert, I had some things made for you while you were gone. New clothing to match your new title, as well as something for your eye."

"My eye?" Gilbert asked curiously.

The king nodded. "Go to your room. Everything will be waiting for you there. While you do that, I'll have your other belongings moved onto the private carriage."

Gilbert bowed his head. "Thank you."

As Gilbert left, Ludwig followed behind him, joining him back to his room.

/

When Gilbert entered, he saw a shirt, pants, and a cloak laid out on his bed. He went to them, and was actually shocked by the quality of it. It was made of red silk and had white accents, and looked like something that a prince would wear. Ludwig turned around so he could dress, which took a few minutes since he did it by himself, but once he was done, he slipped the cloak on. It was long and buttoned up in the front and was black in color, but from the waist down it opened so he didn't have anything blocking his legs.

"Are you done?" Ludwig asked.

"Yeah, I just need to get the boots on," he said as he picked up the gorgeous black leather boots that had a small heel on them.

Ludwig walked over as Gilbert sat on the bed. "The White Knight symbol is embroidered on the back."

"Really?" Gilbert tried to turn his head around to see but failed. "Well I guess it'll always be a part of me, so it's appropriate."

"I'm sorry you can't be a knight anymore," Ludwig said.

"What? Don't be sorry. It'll be hard, but...at least I'm alive. Plus I'll be a powerful lord of my own fort. It won't be so bad."

Ludwig sighed. "You say that, but I know you better. Make sure you write me. I want to keep in contact with you."

"I will. I guess I'll be writing a lot of letters soon." Gilbert smiled a little. He leaned back on the bed but felt something under his hand. When he looked, he saw a small black piece of fabric attached to two silk strings.

"It's a patch for my eye..." He picked it up. "I guess I can't wear a bandage forever. At least this'll make me look kind of cool. Can you help me with it?" he asked.

"Sure." Ludwig helped him out of the bandages and resisted looking at the injured eye too much. He placed the eyepatch over it and Gilbert held it there while he tied the strings behind his head. "There." Ludwig stepped back.

"Well? How do I look? Do I look cool?"

"It all looks too fancy for you."

"Hey." Gilbert's eye flattened. "I'll have you know that I wore some super fancy clothes while I was in Wayland, and I looked great."

"I guess you'll be wearing this sort of clothing a lot. You're a Council member now."

Gilbert leaned back and closed his eye. "It'll be hard to adjust, but I'll be fine..."

"I'm actually surprised by how well you're holding yourself together."

Gilbert opened his eye just slightly, looking sad. "I guess I'm just all cried out right now. I'm still scared, and I think the reality of what happened will settle in later once I'm alone. It's going to be so hard for me to come to terms with not being a knight..."

Ludwig placed his hand on his shoulder. "You'll be fine. And if you think about it, you'll be training the next group of White Knights. In a way that's actually better, because you're passing along your knowledge."

Gilbert sighed. He appreciated Ludwig trying to cheer him up, but he didn't think anything really could. "I'm sure I'll think of it that way in a few months, but right now it feels like someone just ripped a huge chunk of me out." He stood up. "But there's no use in dwelling on it right now. Maybe getting distracted by my new duties will help." Ludwig nodded and left the room with him.

/

Outside there was a fancy carriage waiting for Gilbert. His horse was attached to the front along with another horse, and he assumed that his belongings were inside.

"Well, I guess this is it." Gilbert said reluctantly. He turned to Ludwig. "Take care, and protect our king." He moved in and hugged him.

Ludwig hugged back. "You too, and train good recruits."

"I'll try," Gilbert said and then pulled back. "All right, well... I'm off, then..." Ludwig nodded to him, and Gilbert went to the carriage.

A servant was there and opened the carriage door for him to climb up. It took him a few seconds to get in since his legs were still hurting, but he finally sat down on the soft and red cushioned seat. The door closed, but he opened a little window on the side that allowed him to look through a mesh of fabric to see his brother. As the driver yelled and whipped his reins, Gilbert gave a weak wave to his brother. Ludwig returned the wave, but after a moment he turned and headed back to the castle.

Gilbert leaned against the side of the carriage. He couldn't cry but his lip still trembled. He hated that he didn't get to have more time with Ivan before he left, that he didn't even get to sleep in his own bed before going to the new fort, and couldn't spend more time with his brother either. He was grateful for the chance to do something for the Order still, rather than being tossed out on his own with nothing like he assumed would happen, but it was still a hard pill to swallow.

His eye managed to tear up a little bit, so he looked out the window and up at the sky. It was a beautiful blue, and it reminded him of walking in the gardens with Ivan.

'I wonder what he's doing?' Gilbert thought as some clouds rolled by.

He told himself that one day, when he got used to his new role and fort, he'd invite Ivan over to see his new life. He only hoped that a prince — or possibly a king — wouldn't be too busy to refuse his invite. He began to think of all the things he could do when Ivan came. He could show off his recruits and feel pride for training them, give him a tour of his fort, or have a big meal made just for them. They could sneak out in the middle of the night and kiss under a tree like they used to, and cuddle in bed that same night.

And they'd do all of it without the worry of being caught or someone trying to kill them. The thought actually thrilled Gilbert. It would be hard to fully adjust to life without his left eye and not being a knight, he knew that, but there were other things that he could do. Life wasn't over, he was just starting a new chapter, and even though he was scared, he felt a slight bit of anticipation for the next years of his life.

A little smile appeared on his lips and he looked up at the clear blue sky. He began to wonder when he'd see his beloved prince again, and imagined how he'd greet him when he did. It was a nice thought — one that would keep Gilbert smiling through however long it took until he saw Ivan's face again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> 
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